# Waylan Smithers- gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2002, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605 "2002-05-30T20:07:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![socialxray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@socialxray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/socialxray)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/41 "2002-05-31T19:12:08Z")
**Miss Mapp said:** > [@](#): > > Close. The flashback to Smithers’ marriage is from Tennessee Williams, but it’s Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Are you sure? Cos I remember that at the end of the flashback, Smithers runs out onto the balcony and a Marlon-Brando-esque-Burns is outside yelling “Smithers!!” as in Stella!! Which would be _Streetcar_, right? Maybe my theatre knowledge betrays me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/42 "2002-05-31T19:16:52Z")
I’m paraphrasing here. BURNS: Ahh, Friday. Doing anthing gay this weekend, Smithers? SMITHERS: What? BURNS: You know, jolly, carefree. Mothers, lock up your daughters! SMITHERS: Oh, _that_. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/43 "2002-05-31T19:46:17Z")
Burns: “I guess there’s nothing left but to kiss my sorry ass good-bye.” Smithers: “May I, sir?” Burns: “One jar of garlic pickles. No one will want to kiss me after these, eh Smithers?” Smithers: “It’s their loss, sir.” Burns: “‘Memorandum to Mrs. Bouvier, re: Delineation of Romantic Intentions’” – pfft, too sappy. Smithers, come over here and help me write a mash note to my girlfriend." Smithers: “Fine. ‘Darling one, read my words and hear my heart speak of a love soft and undying: a love that will be with you always. Sincerely,’ yadda, yadda, yadda.” Burns: “That’s marvelous! How did you think of that so fast?” Smithers: “I sent it to you on your birthday! Excuse me, I have something in my eye!” Smithers: “Well, that’s the end of the girls’ floor exercises, now let’s bring on the men!” Burns: “Bah! Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!” Smithers: “A little mincing would be nice.” And don’t forget Smithers’ ABBA tape, Kim Basinger’s shoes, dancing with the Village People, and his exclusion from the St. Patrick’s Day parade. And it’s definitely _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_ because Smithers is on a crutch. ---
**Author:** ![ummm.yeahh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ummm.yeahh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ummm.yeahh)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/44 "2002-05-31T20:06:36Z")
People, people, let’s not forget the “Malibu Stacy” collection. I think that speaks for itself. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/45 "2002-05-31T23:59:46Z")
If Smithers isn’t a gay man, he’s doing a pretty good imitation of one. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/46 "2002-06-01T00:36:43Z")
ArchiveGuy wrote: > [@](#): > > And don’t forget Smithers’ ABBA tape, :eek: I’ve got two ABBA CDs! And, come to think of it, back when I was looking at houses in 1995, I almost bought one with … TRACK LIGHTING in it! Does this mean I have to start dating men now? ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/47 "2002-06-01T00:57:26Z")
I always thought it was pretty obvious, especially when they started to play it up. My opinion is that Smithers is Gay _and_ Burnsexual. I think that his infatuation is with Burns, but this is partly because he is gay. I also think that Burns doesn’t realize this. Perhaps he’s sometimes suspected something, but he has never really figured it out. Most of the lines that Burns has that might indicate that he knows, such as: “We all know about _your_ opinion,” are not conclusive proof that he knows. He could just think Smithers is odd, ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/48 "2002-06-01T01:02:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by socialxray \* > \*\ ***Miss Mapp said:** > > Are you sure? Cos I remember that at the end of the flashback, Smithers runs out onto the balcony and a Marlon-Brando-esque-Burns is outside yelling “Smithers!!” as in Stella!! Which would be _Streetcar_, right? Maybe my theatre knowledge betrays me. 🙂 \*\* You’re both right. The bit used elements from _two_ Tennesee Williams plays, with the crutch smashing the liquor bottles from _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_ and the man outside in a torn shirt yelling a name from _A Streetcar Named Desire_. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/49 "2002-06-01T01:17:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sjc \* > \*\*I always thought it was pretty obvious, especially when they started to play it up. > > My opinion is that Smithers is Gay _and_ Burnsexual. I think that his infatuation is with Burns, but this is partly because he is gay. > > I also think that Burns doesn’t realize this. Perhaps he’s sometimes suspected something, but he has never really figured it out. Most of the lines that Burns has that might indicate that he knows, such as: “We all know about _your_ opinion,” are not conclusive proof that he knows. He could just think Smithers is odd, \*\* The whole thing with Burns not “getting” that Smithers is infatuated with him, could be a take-off on elderly people who claim, “There weren’t any gay people when I was little.” IOW, Burns, who’s been so busy making money these past thousand years or so, hasn’t paid any attention to what goes on in the outside world and cannot grasp the concept that a “man would lie with another man the same as he does a woman.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/50 "2002-06-01T01:45:32Z")
And of course in the Simpsons Variety Show, there were the Waylon Smithers dancers. Smithers was dressed as a cowboy singing “whip it.” What does Jolly Ranchers have to do with being gay? And then there’s the time he dreams about Burns flying in through the window while he’s in bed, or a naked Burns jumping out of the cake singing, “Happy Birthday, Mr. Smithers…” ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/51 "2002-06-01T01:49:06Z")
There really is no debate about Smithers. The question is, is _Homer_ gay? :: Stupid sexy Flanders! :: ---
**Author:** ![Omnivore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47774/32.png) [@Omnivore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnivore)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/52 "2002-06-01T03:11:21Z")
Is he gay? Yes! ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/53 "2002-06-01T03:45:19Z")
> [@](#): > > The question is, is Homer gay? Burns: We don’t have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract. Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me? Burns: And if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Homer: [thinking] Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me? Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what’s the harm? Homer: [thinking] My God! He \ coming onto me! Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. [chuckle] [wink] Homer: [thinking] Aaaaaagh! [aloud] Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don’t go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I’m flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no! ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/54 "2002-06-01T05:44:31Z")
Think about the term “Jolly Ranchers” more literally. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/55 "2002-06-01T06:18:25Z")
Isn’t it rather obvious that Homer is genuinely in love with Marge (see the episode with the poisonous fish, if you doubt this.)? So unless Marge is actually a man, or Homer a woman, I’d say that it’s pretty clear that he’s heterosexual. ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/56 "2002-06-01T10:32:11Z")
Plus, after calling a “GBM” on the phone while looking for a sould mate, Homer is heard to say, “No, I don’t like THAT!..Or that…” But he does like his beer cold, his TV loud, and his homosexuals FLAMING, according to one episode. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/57 "2002-06-01T12:50:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nineiron \* > \*\*Plus, after calling a “GBM” on the phone while looking for a sould mate, Homer is heard to say, “No, I don’t like THAT!..Or that…” > > But he does like his beer cold, his TV loud, and his homosexuals FLAMING, according to one episode. \*\* One of the local nicknames for gays is \*\* 'mo \*\*, a shortened form of homo (ho was taken). Puts new meaning into the term “Flaming Mo(e)'s.” Jolly Ranchers = Gay Farmers" The Cecil mentioned above is Cecil Terwilliger, from my all-time favorite Simpsons episode. I often use the quote backwards when someone mentions the obvious “Why, I had no idea. You see, I’ve spent the past 10 years with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears…in a cave…on Mars.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/58 "2002-06-01T14:01:25Z")
Bart: (calls Moe’s Bar) Hello, is Homer there? Moe: Homer who? Bart: Homer… Sexual. Moe: Wait one second, let me check. [calls] Uh, Homer Sexual? Hey, come on, come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual! [guffaws from the gang] You rotten liver pot! If I ever get a hold of you, I’ll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/59 "2002-06-01T14:52:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bryan Ekers:_ > \*\*You’re both right. The bit used elements from _two_ Tennesee Williams plays, with the crutch smashing the liquor bottles from _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_ and the man outside in a torn shirt yelling a name from _A Streetcar Named Desire_. \*\* Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry; I was thinking of Smithers with his crutch, and forgot the end of the scene. I’ve looked it up in the always-helpful episode guide on the Simpsons Archive site. From “[Secrets of a Successful Marriage](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F20.html):” > [@](#): > > Smithers: Um, I was married once, but, er, I just didn’t know how to keep it together. > [black & white flashback to Southern Belle on a bed] > Belle: Come on, Waylon. Make love to me the way you used to! > Smithers: [pouring a drink] No! > Belle: It’s that horrible Mr. Burns, isn’t it? > Smithers: [screaming] You leave Mr. Burns out of this! [sweeps drinks off table] > Burns: [outside] Smithers! [Smithers walks out joyfully] Smithers! ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605/60 "2002-06-01T16:51:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronos \* > \*\*Isn’t it rather obvious that Homer is genuinely in love with Marge (see the episode with the poisonous fish, if you doubt this.)? So unless Marge is actually a man, or Homer a woman, I’d say that it’s pretty clear that he’s heterosexual. \*\* _ahem_ You are aware of the existence of bisexuality? They like playing up the Homer/Flanders thing. I seem to remember some line about a “hot beef injection” at a Barbecue. Hell, they even make innuendo about Bart – every once in awhile, he throws out a line about doing drag. And this: > [@](#): > > Homer: Astrid said the key to my art is anger, but you know me – I’m Mr. > Mellow, so I’m giving you kids permission to get me mad. Come on, give > me what you got. > Lisa: Well, if it’ll help … Mom found out her engagement ring is made of > rock candy. > Homer: [hits the clay with a stick and his fist] Good work, honey. Keep it > coming. > Bart: Well, I’m flunking math, and the other day I was a little attracted to > Milhouse. Of course, Milhouse’s school file lists him as having “flamboyantly homosexual tendencies.” I figure on the last episode, everyone will come out except Lisa [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waylan-smithers-gay/111605.md?page=4)