# Wayne Lapierre invents new fortune cookie meme **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2013, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054 "2013-03-15T22:28:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/21 "2013-03-16T21:17:27Z")
God helps those who help themselves with a gun. The best things in life are free with a gun. The bigger they come, the harder they fall with a gun. Where there’s a will, there’s a way with a gun. If at first you don’t succeed, try again with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/22 "2013-03-18T11:57:54Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > The greatest love is self-love… WITH A GUN. Eww, although it brings to mind the Beatles and “Happiness is a Warm Gun (with a gun)” > [@](#): > > Orignally Posted by \*\*Happy Lendervedder: > \*\*The pen is mightier than the sword with a gun. > I don’t know about that, a sword with a gun sounds pretty bad ass. Isn’t that pretty much what a bayonet is? And we know how well Bayonets work for Republicans. 😃 Now the **penis** mightier than the sword with a gun… who knows? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/23 "2013-03-18T12:11:42Z")
I made home-made fortune cookies for my gf a few years ago. She saved her favorite fortune, although it hasn’t come true yet: > [@](#): > > Your thoughtless act will lead to the death of thousands. . . .with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/24 "2013-03-18T13:25:04Z")
A smile is just a frown turned upside down…with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/25 "2013-03-18T14:21:50Z")
On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/26 "2013-03-18T14:31:06Z")
How about other Amendments: The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people with a gun. The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/27 "2013-03-18T15:53:42Z")
Jesus Christ Superstar with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/28 "2013-03-18T15:54:21Z")
Do unto others…with a gun Everything’s better when it sits on a Ritz…with a gun Children should be seen and not heard…with a gun Sugar and spice and everything nice. That’s what little girls are made of… with a gun ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/29 "2013-03-18T16:03:58Z")
Treat each day as practice for tomorrow… with a gun. Do not follow where the path may lead. Go where there is no path…and leave a trail… with a gun. Your lucky numbers are 6, 13, 20, 32… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/30 "2013-03-18T18:37:44Z")
May you live in interesting times…with a gun. Good news from afar may bring you a welcome visitor…with a gun. If you feel you are right, stand firmly by your convictions…with a gun. You create your own stage…the audience is waiting…with a gun. People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual…with a gun. Original “fortunes” were shamelessly cribbed from: [Fortune Cookie Quotes - Fortune Cookie Database - from item 50](http://www.fortunecookiemessage.com/archive.php?start=50) ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/31 "2013-03-18T19:17:36Z")
When the going gets tough, the tough get going with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/32 "2013-03-18T19:20:32Z")
Here’s one of my memorable cookie fortunes, amended: “It is not too late to take a different path… _with a gun_.” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/33 "2013-03-18T19:21:46Z")
Fortune favors the bold with a gun. The early bird catches the worm with a gun. Never look a gift horse in the mouth with a gun. God helps those who help themselves with a gun. Actions speak louder than words with a gun. All good things must come to an end with a gun. If you can’t beat 'em, join 'em with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/34 "2013-03-18T19:53:17Z")
I pledge allegiance to the Flag (with a gun) of the United States of America, (with a gun) and to the Republic for which it stands, (with a gun) one Nation under God, (with a gun) indivisible, (with a gun) with liberty and justice for all. … with a gun ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/35 "2013-03-18T19:55:48Z")
“I’ll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hands.”… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/36 "2013-03-18T20:28:03Z")
He who places watch in toilet have crappy time … with a gun. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day … with a gun. She’s so fat, when she lies around the house, she really lies around the house with a gun. In Russia, TV watches you … with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/37 "2013-03-18T20:37:32Z")
Actions speak louder than words… with a gun. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/38 "2013-03-18T20:47:26Z")
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you with a gun.” “Good things come to those who wait with a gun.” “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself with a gun.” ---
**Author:** ![Gilbert1984](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Gilbert1984](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilbert1984)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/39 "2013-03-18T22:09:27Z")
I’m going on an anger management course … with a gun ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/40 "2013-03-19T00:12:02Z")
When God closes a door, he opens a window with a gun. God never gives you more than you can handle with a gun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054.md?page=3)