# Wayne Lapierre invents new fortune cookie meme **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2013, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054 "2013-03-15T22:28:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/41 "2013-03-19T00:39:51Z")
You can’t handle the truth! … with a gun. > [@Blackberry](#): > > God never gives you more than you can handle with a gun. My favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/42 "2013-03-19T01:08:39Z")
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free…with a gun.” ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/43 "2013-03-19T02:42:41Z")
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone… with a gun. (seek help before you get to this point.) Finish eating your vegetables, they won’t kill you… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![itsfunhavingfun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5e925/32.png) [@itsfunhavingfun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/itsfunhavingfun)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/44 "2013-03-19T02:52:06Z")
If given a penny for every kind act, you’d be a millionaire…with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/45 "2013-03-19T06:01:53Z")
Live long and prosper… with a gun. I knew you were trouble when you walked in… with a gun. Love is never having to say you’re sorry… with a gun. This is a pretty damn cool meme 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![sunnyone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@sunnyone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunnyone)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/46 "2013-03-19T09:08:31Z")
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world she walks into mine… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Thuringwethil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@Thuringwethil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thuringwethil)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/47 "2013-03-19T15:14:05Z")
Speak softly and carry a big stick…with a gun. A far sight better than just a stick.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/48 "2013-03-19T16:20:51Z")
A friend in need is a friend indeed… with a gun. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/49 "2013-03-19T19:49:49Z")
One night in Bangkok…with a gun. The Internet is for porn…with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/50 "2013-03-19T20:03:43Z")
Outside of a dog, a man’s best friend is a book … with a gun. Do not be so eager to deal out death and judgement … with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/51 "2013-03-20T18:38:32Z")
A gentle answer turneth away wrath… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/52 "2013-03-21T18:07:11Z")
Every Who down in Whoville loved Christmas a lot … with a gun! After all, tomorrow is another day … with a gun. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country … with a gun. Good fences make good neighbors … with a gun! Wherever they’s a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever they’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, I’ll be there… with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/53 "2013-03-21T23:35:11Z")
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![LAV25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/97f17d/32.png) [@LAV25](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LAV25)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/54 "2013-03-22T23:33:25Z")
Success has a thousand fathers, but failure is an orphan with a gun. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change with a gun courage to change the things I can with a gun and wisdom to know the difference. (That almost makes sense…) A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse with a gun! I believe that my heart will go on with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/55 "2013-03-23T00:59:40Z")
There can be no tyrants where there are no slaves…with a gun. Just Do It…with a gun. To boldly go where no man has gone before…with a gun. The power to be your best…with a gun. Have it your way…with a gun. Ripped off from: José Rizal Gary Gilmore, attrib. Gene Roddenberry (I think) Apple Computers Burger King ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/56 "2013-03-24T16:50:02Z")
This is my weapon; this is my gun (with a gun). This is for fighting; this is for fun (with a gun). ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2013, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/57 "2013-03-24T19:08:19Z")
We’re behind you every step of the way … with a gun. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people … with a gun. Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high … [with a gun](http://what-if.xkcd.com/21/). I want a hippopotamus with a gun for Christmas. Santa Claus is coming to town … with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Roads\_Scholar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e56c9b/32.png) [@Roads\_Scholar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roads_Scholar)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/58 "2013-03-28T15:55:33Z")
Three cookie fortunes taped to my desk: In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare…with a gun. You will have a long and health life…with a gun. You are working hard…with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![zemoxian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f1d935/32.png) [@zemoxian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zemoxian)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/59 "2013-03-29T02:46:29Z")
Here are some SF/Fantasy expressions…with a gun! [ul] [li]In space, no one can here you scream…with a gun![/li][li]May the Force be with you…with a gun![/li][li]Let’s do the Time Warp again…with a gun![/li][li]Don’t Panic…with a gun![/li][li]All these worlds are yours, except Europa…with a gun![/li][li]…and one ring to rule them all…with a gun![/li][li]My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die…with a gun![/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054/60 "2013-03-29T04:43:19Z")
I Saw Her Standing There with a Gun I Want to Hold Your Hand with a Gun She Loves You with a Gun With a Little Help from my Friends with a Gun All You Need is Love with a Gun Two of Us with a Gun (Okay, anyone wanna do the Stones?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wayne-lapierre-invents-new-fortune-cookie-meme/653054.md?page=4)