Having George Steinbrenner tied to a stake in the middle of the diamond with a pitching machine serving up batting practice pitches to someone who hits very powerful line drives, like Gary Sheffield.
That would be worth the price of admission for my vengeful blood sport.
Believe it or not, they tried that at Skydome. God only knows why, but during the odd inning dancing girls would come out, dressed like Britney Spears, and dance atop the dugouts to techno tunes. The fans responded with such helpful, supportive cheers as:
“Down in front!”
“Get the hell out of the way!”
“Siddown, there’s no cheerleading in baseball!”
I hate to think what the fans would do in Philadelphia. There would probably be a volley of gunfire.
I think the old Atlanta Braves had something like this,and now that the lottery is legal in Georgia, maybe it could be revived. Here’s how it worked then:
The fan picked a player to hit an out-of-the-park homer, and if that happened, the fan won x amount of cash (or a prize) and got to meet the player for an autograph.
It was structured so that the announcers in the booth would pick a fan’s entry out of a hat, so that only that fan would win when a particular batter hit the home run.
It’s not original, I admit, but it sure made the game more interesting. As I remember the fans mailed in their entries.
Quasi
You are all deeply disturbed.
Just finished listening to A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court on audiotape. I’d completely forgotten that he has Hank Morgan introduce Baseball into Arthurian England:
The players are all nobility, and all wear their armor on the field. As a result:
No one ducks when a ball comes their way. It just bounces off.
Umpires are an endangered species until Morgan starts putting umpires with social status or political power in place. Until then, no umpire survives a game.
How about adding a new position - the interferer?
The batting team gets to have one interferer roam the field, anywhere except in a straight line from the pitcher’s mound to home plate. The interferor can do whatever he wishes to interfere with the fielding team’s ability to field the ball, except he cannot physically interfere with the pitcher’s delievery of the ball. Acceptable actions by an interferer include teasing and distracting the pitcher, tackling fielders going after a ball, blocking for a runner, fielding the ball himself and trying to keep it from the fielding team. Strategy is involved in determining where to position the interferer depending on the batter, score, count, baserunners, etc.
That’s already been tried.
[]Snipers with tranq-guns.[]Balance-bean between first and second base.Outfielders allowed to carry a bat and if they can swat the incoming ball, they get runs for however many of the opposing team were on base and the batter is out. I.e: Runners on first and second, batters ball hit by outfileder= one out and 2 runs for the pitching team.
As a batter you may advance at anytime. Thus, a wild pitch could land the batter at first.
You may use your 27 outs in any manner that you wish. So you could keep going after the 3rd out of an inning. For example, bases are loaded and your #3 batter just struck out for the third out, go ahead and bring in the clean up hitter. Or, their pitcher is on fire, there is one out and the nine hitter is up. Let them take the field and hope he cools off on the bench.
Exploding balls and land mines sound fun, but trust me kids, they aren’t. [hijack] Can you imagine replicating this down to the Little League level? 9,10,11 and 12 year olds playing with land mines? Not a pretty thought.[/hijack] However, the human equivalent of camoflauged fly paper on various spots of the playing field might be exciting.
All players on both teams wear white.
The umpire wears a white lab coat and floppy hat.
Two batters on the field at the same time.
Flat bats instead of round ones.
The pitched ball must bounce before reaching the batter.
Bases replaced with sticks in the ground with other bits of wood balanced on top.
No strikes. The batter stays in until the pitcher can hit the sticks with the ball.
Change the name to cricket.
Fielders can throw the ball AT a runner. If he’s hit, he’s out. This would not only lead to incidents like the one involving Dizzy Dean getting beaned and Reggie Jackson’s hip block, but pickoff plays and attempted steals would really be exciting.
Return to the days when substitutions could be announced from the bench at any time. Anyone else familiar with the famous “Now catching for Boston, Kelly!” story?
Also, make the outfielders ride unicycles.
[QUOTE]
[li]Balance-bean between first and second base.[/li][/quote]
Uh, make that a balance-beam…and have a 3" pool of water below that if they fall into, they have to continue across in the water.
Limit commercials to one minute between each half-inning.
(Yeah, I know, that’s a serious suggestion.)
First, if the fielder throws the ball and hits a runner he’s out. Second, the home team gets to pick the starting lineup of the visiting team. Third, the visiting team can pick a fan to play for the home team. I live in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, all we have are the Pirates (woooo) 
Any fielder who commits an error is removed from the game for the inning (except the pitcher). The position must be left empty until the next inning.
You want high-scoring games? This’d cause some doozies.
Tell you what…how about giving common sense a try?
Some proposed rule changes:
Pitch clock. 30 seconds to get the ball over the plate or it’s a balk. Clock does not stop or reset for pickoff attempts.
Once the batter enters the batter’s box, if he steps out of it for any reason without putting the ball in play, he’s out. An exception is allowed to avoid a ball that’s about to hit him, but he must promply return to the box or he’s out. None of this “step out and take a couple more practice swings after every freaking pitch” crap.
A batter who fouls with two strikes must either bunt on the next pitch or let it go by. Swinging, regardless of what happens, results in strike three. I hate Foul Ball Derbies, and they add next to nothing to the game. Besides, this is about the only way to put some importance back on a long-neglected baseball skill.
A batter who argues with an umpire for any length of time is out. A manager who does so incurs a “penalty” out which does not count against the batter. Continuing for more than twenty seconds results in an ejection. Repeated arguments also warrant an ejection. I know that emotions run high and umpires sometimes make bad calls, but arguing solves absolutely nothing, and there’s no reason the fans should put up with this useless time-waster during the game.
The minimum distance for any home run is 350 feet. A ball that goes over the wall but doesn’t reach the required distance is a triple. (A ball that bounces over the wall is still a double regardless of distance.) This eliminates cheap home runs while still rewarding big blasts.
If regulation ends in a tie, there will be ONE sudden-death inning. If the game is still tied, it ends in a draw. (Playoff games will still be played to the bitter end.) I don’t know how many records have been ruined because the game just went on and on and on (Randy Johnson’s strikeout record being the most recent example), and in any case, nothing is more tedious than a baseball game that never ends. Over the course of a full season, I think whatever negative effect the draws have should be minimal.
C’mon, admit it, you like at least some of these. 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by thinksnow *
**
Can the water have pirranahs or perhaps alligators in it?
When were kids, playing baseball in the vacant lot, first base had this HUGE prickly-pear cactus about two feet behind it. Second was a snake hole. Third was an old piece of aluminium. That was interesting.
Taking a 13 year old boy with you to watch the game is always lots of fun. Little boys love explaining baseball. Especially to their Mom. You will be in for hours of listening pleasure.
Ooh, I like!
[sub]Of course, I’m a bit biased–I sat through the entire “Boston Marathon” a few weeks ago. 18 innings, 6 hours and 45 minutes… :eek:[/sub]
Replace the ball with hand grenades.
** kferr ** had most of them right.
Skew the diamond by shortening the first base line by 1/3rd and lengthening the third base line by 1/3rd , making it easier to get on base, but harder, once on, to get home. From an outsider’s perspective, baseball is always of more interest when there’s a runner on.
Take all the designated roles out. If you get paid a bazillion bucks a season, you should be able to bat, catch, throw and run all by yourself.