# Ways to mess with people calling wrong numbers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 18, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610 "2005-11-18T05:32:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Trillionaire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Trillionaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trillionaire)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/1 "2005-11-18T05:32:34Z")
For some reason I get a lot of wrong numbers on my mobile (at least one or two a week.) Normally I just politely tell them the number’s wrong, but inspired by [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=342941) (in which someone describes Danny Devito doing just that in the movie _Ruthless People_)I thought I’d solicit ideas on what I can say next time someone calls my mobile and asks for someone I’ve never heard of. A couple I’ve come up with so far: **Caller:** Hi is Steve there? **Me:** Steve? Oh is that the guy that used to own this phone? **Caller:** Huh? **Me:** Yeah, this is my phone now. I found it at the bus stop this morning with a bunch of other stuff… hey, you don’t happen to know Steve’s PIN number do you? and **Caller:** Hi, is Mary there? **Me:** Mary? She’s taking a dump, could you call back in three quarters of an hour? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![La\_Llorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@La\_Llorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/La_Llorona)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/2 "2005-11-18T09:23:14Z")
“Hello, this is the LaToya Jackson psychic hotline. We knew you’d be calling.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/3 "2005-11-18T09:25:18Z")
If I notice it’s a wrong number on my caller ID, I usually pick up the phone, and instead of saying hello, I will say, “Hi, is Penelope there?” Usually throws them _right_ off. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/4 "2005-11-18T10:55:23Z")
I got a wrong number call one day. It went like this: Me: “Hello” Them: “Hi! Hey, this is Tom, Crystal’s friend, and I need to ask you a favor.” Me: “Sure! Anything!” Them: “Well, we need to borrow your card table and chairs set for tomorrow evening. Would that be asking too much?” Me: “No problem! Just come on over and get it when you need it. If I’m not home, just go into the garage and help yourself to whatever you need, ok?” Them: “Oooh, thanks! Well, I don’t want to take up your time, so I’ll catch you next weekend, ok? Thanks again!” Me: “You’re welcome, Tom! Take care! Bye!” I’d really like to know what happened with that one… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/5 "2005-11-18T16:41:16Z")
“Hello.” “Hi, is Ronnie there?” “Ronnie’s in jail. Now that I’ve got you on the phone, though, would you mind answering a few questions?” “Click.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/6 "2005-11-18T16:46:32Z")
I need to learn some of those phrases in Spanish, because for some reason all of my wrong numbers on the cell are Spanish-speaking people. Maybe “U.S. Immigration, how may I help you?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/7 "2005-11-18T17:01:51Z")
I always like to say, “Yeah, sure,” and then, “Huh? Oh… She says f\*\*k off.” ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/8 "2005-11-18T17:07:29Z")
“Is Joe there?” “No, he’s just left with his wife” “THIS IS HIS WIFE” click. ---
**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/9 "2005-11-18T20:39:24Z")
Back in college, my apartment’s number was previously owned by a Howard. I moved a couple of times, but always in the same general area, so I kept the same number. I got calls for Howard for years. One was from the hospital trying to get him his test results (you’d think someone would make sure their contact information was up-to-date for _that_). My favorite off-the-cuff response: Me: Hello? Caller: Is Howard there? Me: Howard {lastname}? (I can no longer remember what it was, but it wasn’t a very common last name) Caller: Yes. Me: Sorry, you’ve got a wrong number. ::hang up:: I’ve always wondered how that sounded on the other end… ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/10 "2005-11-18T21:27:49Z")
This site charges you $15 per minute to access. You may hang up in the next 10 seconds to avoid this charge. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-mess-with-people-calling-wrong-numbers/331610/11 "2005-11-18T22:36:40Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I need to learn some of those phrases in Spanish, because for some reason all of my wrong numbers on the cell are Spanish-speaking people. Maybe “U.S. Immigration, how may I help you?” 😃 20 years ago, when I was working in a boiler room, I used something similar : Me : Revenue-Canada (in a German accent), Ja ? Caller : :eek: M : You name, SIN C : gives info M : our auditor will be at your place tomorrow morning Or I made them win prizes : (real fast) “Congratulations, you just won a one way trip to beautiful Okinawa, courtesy of kamikaze Airlines ! Now to collect the prize, you just have to answer this question : are you a moron ?”