# Ways to not come out of the closet. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 27, 2001, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284 "2001-08-27T05:12:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/41 "2001-08-28T18:56:10Z")
I suppose you could say “I’m taking my partner to Gay Days at Disney World.” They might be annoyed, but would probably get pretty good publicity. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/42 "2001-08-28T20:40:57Z")
"Now that your team has won the World Series/Super Bowl/Stanley Cup, what are you going to do? I’m coming out of the closet. " That would be COOL! ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/43 "2001-08-28T20:55:30Z")
I’m with **Daowajan** on that one. That would actually get me to watch professional sports. How about… in front of a Senate Subcommittee on Indecent and UnAmerican Activities. With a male chorus. ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/44 "2001-08-28T21:00:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ballybay \* > > \*\*-When your nuclear power plant is about to explode (Courtesy of Smithers and Mr. Burns-“Thanks for making my last moments on earth socially awkward.”) > > \*\* > > Actually, I think this is when they thought the rapture was occuring, when they found the skeleton of the angel. \*\* My bad. I cheerfully amend my list to include: -Right before the Rapture ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/45 "2001-08-28T21:25:45Z")
If you’re straight. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/46 "2001-08-29T02:33:22Z")
In celebration of becoming a naturalized citizen of Afghanistan. ---
**Author:** ![Mekhazzio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b38774/32.png) [@Mekhazzio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mekhazzio)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/47 "2001-08-29T03:19:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > While accepting your nomination for President. > > Better yet, during your inauguration This would be absolutely wonderful. But then I’ve been saying that we really need a black, pagan lesbian for President. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/48 "2001-08-29T12:02:04Z")
At Marine Corps boot camp. On a hunting trip with your Father: “Uh, hey Dad, y’know, you’ll never have to worry about me getting a girl knocked up…” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/49 "2001-09-07T05:40:55Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Ballybay_ \*\*-When your nuclear power plant is about to explode (Courtesy of Smithers and Mr. Burns-“Thanks for making my last moments on earth socially awkward.”) > \*\* > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl_ **Actually, I think this is when they thought the rapture was occuring, when they found the skeleton of the angel.** No, **Ballybay** had it right the first time. During the angel episode, Smithers just said “Oh what the hell” and grabbed Burns for a big smooch. I also like the moment at the “Do What You Feel” festival, where Smithers said, "I…love you… …in those colors. [to self] Oh, who am I kidding—the boathouse was the time!" ---
**Author:** ![SFCanadian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@SFCanadian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SFCanadian)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/50 "2001-09-07T06:14:48Z")
How about when NOT to come out as straight? When I was a teenager, there was a neighbour kid I used to “experiment” with… Well, he was experimenting I guess, cuz I came out, and he got married and became a cop… About 10 years later, I get a phone call from him… He wanted to stop by for “coffee”… So this cop car shows up, and the guy comes in - in uniform… He starts talking about growing up, and next thing you know, Mr. Cop and I end up going at it… And for someone who supposedly hadn’t practiced in years, he did just _fine_… When we finish, he says, “Well, that proves it… I’m not Gay”… HUH??? SFCanadian ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284/51 "2001-09-07T09:32:58Z")
My weird experience with “coming out”: After years of being behind with the whole email/internet thing, I FINALLY get an email account. Which was a Big Deal for me. So, I triumphantly send off little “I have email!” messages to all my friends (the ones who have been coaxing me to get online for about a year.) I expect happy little “Welcome to the Internet” emails back. But instead, one of my friends decides THIS is the best time to come out. So instead of getting a fun little “Welcome” email, I get a long, drawn-out coming out email. My jaw dropped open. Sure, I had NO CLUE this girl was gay - and I knew her since she was 4! But after I got over the surprise, it was OK, no big deal. The thing I couldn’t get over that this was NOT AT ALL what I expected as a “first email”! Sheesh! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ways-to-not-come-out-of-the-closet/78284.md?page=2)