# We Are Going to Adopt a Child! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 2016, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357 "2016-10-12T21:08:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/21 "2016-10-13T08:32:42Z")
Thank you for doing this. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/22 "2016-10-13T13:32:28Z")
Congratulations, and good luck! My wife and I have been considering adoption because she has a number of medical issues that make “natural” conception unlikely and we don’t want to put her through IVF or other invasive fertility treatment. We’ve had a number of friends who adopted due to fertility issues and it was tough on many of them - waiting three years for a baby seems to be (understandably) difficult. > [@Oakminster](#): > > I do a lot of work as a guardian ad litem with a local adoption agency. I love being involved in these types of cases. The actual adoption hearings are pretty much the only type of case I handle where nobody is mad when the case is over. Some of the stuff that happens before the adoption hearing can get pretty unpleasant, but it’s worth it to give a child a real shot at life. The chief judge of the circuit court where I live is fond of saying that judges only get to do three things that make everybody happy: weddings, adoptions, and swearing new lawyers into the Bar. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/23 "2016-10-13T14:26:38Z")
Congrats. May your process move quickly. (Have you read Dan Savage’s book “The Kid?” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/24 "2016-10-13T14:34:24Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Congratulations, and good luck! My wife and I have been considering adoption because she has a number of medical issues that make “natural” conception unlikely and we don’t want to put her through IVF or other invasive fertility treatment. We’ve had a number of friends who adopted due to fertility issues and it was tough on many of them - waiting three years for a baby seems to be (understandably) difficult. God’s blessings on you both with this - I know it can be stressful. FWIW we waited about eighteen months from application to arrival for our son, and about two years for our daughter. This was 25 years ago, and we adopted from overseas. > [@](#): > > The chief judge of the circuit court where I live is fond of saying that judges only get to do three things that make everybody happy: weddings, adoptions, and swearing new lawyers into the Bar. The judge at our adoption hearing said almost the same thing. She saw lots of family breakups, crimes and abuse and horror. So adoption hearings were a bright spot. We got a picture of all of us after the adoption was approved, and everybody was smiling. She was a nice lady. My daughter tried to steal her gavel. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/25 "2016-10-13T17:53:58Z")
_Throws confetti_ HUZZAH! You and Mr. Spice are going to be FANTASTIC at this. And we seasoned parents will get to laugh and laugh at your travails once you get **Spice Kit** , as we were laughed at (yes, I Googled it. A baby weasel is called a kit.) Will you be doing an open or closed adoption? Or is that one of the things you’re mulling over? I’m subscribing to this thread. And I NEVER (well, hardly ever) subscribe to threads. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/26 "2016-10-13T19:28:34Z")
Congrats! Two years is not that long - heck, African Bush Elephants wait almost 2 years for _every_ baby! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/27 "2016-10-13T19:36:27Z")
Weasel gestation period is anywhere from 40 to 280 days, depending on the breed. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/28 "2016-10-13T20:02:01Z")
Congratulations! You’ll all make a beautiful family together. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/29 "2016-10-13T20:04:34Z")
Oh, many congratulations! \<3 I’ve been gone from the SDMB for a while, and just check in occasionally, but I’m really glad I checked in now to see this. I am so happy for you! ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/30 "2016-10-13T20:30:58Z")
As an adoptee - Thank you and WHEE! ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/31 "2016-10-13T21:15:04Z")
Conga rats! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/32 "2016-10-13T21:28:19Z")
We planned on adopting 1 or 2 years out. Only a few months later and there he was. Nothing happened the way we predicted, that’s not unusual, but this was just one coincidence piled on top of another. And that was almost 30 years ago, a remarkable moment, but barely visible among all that’s happened since then. Of all the good and bad experiences in life adopting was one of the few stellar standouts. It may be the only decision in my life I’ve never questioned. ETA: And congrats, good luck, mazel tov, and expressions of good fortune in other languages. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/33 "2016-10-13T22:09:39Z")
Best wishes and I hope it goes well. I know many people who’ve adopted kids, and from what I can tell for the most part it’s indistinguishable from bio kids. I would caution about adopting Russian kids from orphanages. I know a guy who did that and it was a disaster. I don’t know if the kid had a genetic predisposition to be troubled (or was possibly harmed in utero) or was possibly affected by life in the Russian orphanage (these are very tough places), but she had severe emotional issues for years (possibly still does). And I know there have been cases of people trying to un-adopt kids they’ve adopted. A couple of women (not a “couple”; this was separate instances) I know had this arrangement where they arranged to adopt an unborn child. They flew to Hawaii (for some reason) when the kid was born and took the child home a few days later. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/34 "2016-10-14T01:17:25Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Best wishes and I hope it goes well. I know many people who’ve adopted kids, and from what I can tell for the most part it’s indistinguishable from bio kids. > > I would caution about adopting Russian kids from orphanages. I know a guy who did that and it was a disaster. I don’t know if the kid had a genetic predisposition to be troubled (or was possibly harmed in utero) or was possibly affected by life in the Russian orphanage (these are very tough places), but she had severe emotional issues for years (possibly still does). And I know there have been cases of people trying to un-adopt kids they’ve adopted. > > A couple of women (not a “couple”; this was separate instances) I know had this arrangement where they arranged to adopt an unborn child. They flew to Hawaii (for some reason) when the kid was born and took the child home a few days later. Americans have not been allowed to adopt from Russia for several years, as a punishment by the Russian authorities. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/35 "2016-10-14T01:37:31Z")
I’ve adopted two and it’s great! Welcome to the club. You’ll never regret it. We adopted as a first option. We just felt called to it. It’s been amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/36 "2016-10-14T02:46:29Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > _Throws confetti_ HUZZAH! > > You and Mr. Spice are going to be FANTASTIC at this. And we seasoned parents will get to laugh and laugh at your travails once you get **Spice Kit** , as we were laughed at (yes, I Googled it. A baby weasel is called a kit.) > > Will you be doing an open or closed adoption? Or is that one of the things you’re mulling over? > > I’m subscribing to this thread. And I NEVER (well, hardly ever) subscribe to threads. > [@ivylass](#): > > Weasel gestation period is anywhere from 40 to 280 days, depending on the breed. I can’t tell you how delighted this makes me. **Spice Kit.** Omg. So at least I’m not the only Weasel Mom with a random-ass time frame. We’re open to whatever the birth parents are most comfortable with. It will most likely be an open adoption. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/37 "2016-10-14T03:10:48Z")
May all go well for you present and future Weasels! And, Nava, congratulations to your family as well. I hope November flys by for you. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/38 "2016-10-14T03:21:26Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Did I mention he’ll be here in December? I think I did 😃 Congratulations to you as well! We’ve got some future grandparents chomping at the bit. Pretty sure my FIL is going to retire the day the baby is born. (Free child care? No problem.) And his wife has apparently already bought every conceivable baby item in existence (she filled her basement with stuff when I was pregnant.) This kit is going to be a very, very welcome addition to our family. And I mean, can I be honest? Most baby stuff is freakin’ adorable. I want to paint the nursery blue and put up cutesy sea creatures everywhere. Um. For the baby. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/39 "2016-10-14T05:01:02Z")
As an adoptee from birth, I say congratulations! My adoption was closed, as they did back in the day. But I couldn’t be a luckier kid. My being adopted was part of my dialogue from when I can remember, it was never something my parents had to sit me down and explain at some point when they thought I might understand, it was just part of who I was. I guess it was mentioned/explained to the level of my understanding from toddler on. I’m a chosen child, not a discarded one. Maybe that’s an important enough distinction that I never went looking for my birth mother, never felt the need. This is an exciting time, I hope everything happens sooner than later! Best to you and your husband! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/40 "2016-10-14T12:16:29Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > And I mean, can I be honest? Most baby stuff is freakin’ adorable. I want to paint the nursery blue and put up cutesy sea creatures everywhere. Um. For the baby. Like octopus and squid and cuttlefish? Maybe a cute snail or two. Suuuuuuurrrre…for the “kit.” 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357.md?page=3)