# We Are Going to Adopt a Child! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 2016, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357 "2016-10-12T21:08:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/81 "2017-04-08T17:14:20Z")
if surrogacy is at all something you would consider, I second the suggestion to talk to a doctor about it. I think that you would not have to go off of your meds. The fetuses are all checked before implantation, so the worry about birth defects would be greatly reduced right off the bat. I’m sorry that parenthood has been so frustrating a journey for you. I hope the road is smoother ahead of you than behind. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/82 "2017-04-08T19:00:39Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I don’t know a lot about the process but I’m not sure that would negate all of the medical issues. One of them is the anticonvulsant I am on, which raises the risk of birth defects, combined with my age, to a frightening 9%. Since it also does the dual work of treating my depression, it would be a bad idea to go off of it. I have no idea if that 9% is an in utero developmental thing or a risk from conception. I think the idea of surrogacy slightly freaks out my husband. Maybe because his cousin was the first one who offered. :eek: I doubt you’d have to get off your maintenance meds to do an egg retrieval, in my surrogacy world experience I haven’t heard of that for anything but hormone treatment. However, [Michigan holds surrogacy to be against the public interest, so will not enforce any kind of contract w/ a surrogate who delivers in Michigan.](http://www.creativefamilyconnections.com/us-surrogacy-law-map/michigan) Same goes for Indiana, so any contract btwn a potential carrier and intended parents would be on their honor entirely; no court could compel her to relinquish the baby to you, for example. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/83 "2017-04-08T19:18:27Z")
Hugs to you, my dear. I know this is a frustrating process, but know they have to be incredibly thorough. You have nothing to worry about. Remember to breathe and take care of you. This WILL happen. Spice Kit may not even have been conceived yet, so you’re right on track. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/84 "2017-04-08T19:36:22Z")
You will get through this. I am sending positive thoughts your way. It sometimes seems like one hurdle after another and it’s very frustrating when it seems like nothing is in your control. I believe it happens for a reason that may remain a mystery but when the time is right it will happen. The hell of it is not knowing when the time will be and keeping it together until it is. Deep breaths, stay positive and know your heart is in the right place. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/85 "2017-04-09T01:00:49Z")
Good news! We just got our approved home study in the mail. I am so relieved. Next step is putting together an adoption profile and getting on the waiting family’s list! I’m glad to hear some are finding this thread helpful. It’s a daunting process, but being to help demystify it for others adds to the meaning of the experience. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/86 "2017-04-09T02:29:25Z")
W00t! ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/87 "2017-04-09T13:20:21Z")
Congratulations on your approved home study! My experiences are all from 35 - 40 years ago, so absolutely nothing is the same, but I do remember feeling that a crooked dish towel or a speck of dust would blackball me and I was petrified during the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/88 "2017-04-09T15:41:44Z")
So good to hear! One step closer, I’m really happy for you! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/89 "2017-04-09T19:46:35Z")
Yay!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/90 "2017-04-09T20:32:04Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Good news! We just got our approved home study in the mail. I am so relieved. Next step is putting together an adoption profile and getting on the waiting family’s list! See? The wheels grind slowly but they are grinding. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/91 "2017-04-09T20:33:10Z")
Cheers! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2017, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/92 "2017-04-10T17:11:44Z")
Yay! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2017, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/93 "2017-04-10T18:47:22Z")
Holy crapola, I’m only just now seeing this, congrats to you and **Dr. Spice!** You guys will make kickass parents. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/94 "2017-04-11T18:23:50Z")
Holy crapola is right. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. We went to meet with the adoption agency today, and are officially on the waiting families list. She was like, ‘‘It usually takes 1-2 years, but you guys are open to so many situations we’ll be showing your profile a lot. So it could be theoretically any minute.’’ No sooner had we gotten back home when the agency called. They have… a situation that very few couples at their agency would be potentially open to. Normally they don’t contact you before showing your profile because it is such an emotional thing, waiting to hear back and all that. But given the circumstances she had to call just to see if we’d even be interested. Two children, a 6 month old and an 18 month old. Their parents are homeless and looking to place soon. I said of course we are interested. \*\* Sr. Weasel\*\* is currently hyperventilating. It could amount to nothing, it could fall through. Or it could be the beginning of our family. Like, nowish. Like, we could have two kids by the end of the month. :eek: This is one hell of a ride, let me tell you. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/95 "2017-04-11T19:02:05Z")
**Spice Weasel** - Wow wow wow! That’s so fast you almost can’t process it! From despair three days okay to potentially being parents. Good luck to you both! StG ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/96 "2017-04-11T19:19:35Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Holy crapola is right. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. > > We went to meet with the adoption agency today, and are officially on the waiting families list. She was like, ‘‘It usually takes 1-2 years, but you guys are open to so many situations we’ll be showing your profile a lot. So it could be theoretically any minute.’’ > > No sooner had we gotten back home when the agency called. They have… a situation that very few couples at their agency would be potentially open to. Normally they don’t contact you before showing your profile because it is such an emotional thing, waiting to hear back and all that. But given the circumstances she had to call just to see if we’d even be interested. > > Two children, a 6 month old and an 18 month old. Their parents are homeless and looking to place soon. > > I said of course we are interested. > \*\* > Sr. Weasel\*\* is currently hyperventilating. > > It could amount to nothing, it could fall through. Or it could be the beginning of our family. Like, nowish. Like, we could have two kids by the end of the month. :eek: > > This is one hell of a ride, let me tell you. I’m hoping and praying for the best for you all, whatever the best ends up being. Several years ago, two of my good friends adopted an older child with many challenges. It was a journey getting together, and another journey to finalize the adoption. They are lovely, loving family and a huge inspiration to me. **(((Spice Weasel)))** ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/97 "2017-04-11T19:22:07Z")
Holy crap! Exciting, scary, wow! Buckle your seat belts! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/98 "2017-04-11T19:37:26Z")
Crossing all appendages! When will you know more? I have 50 billion questions and I’ll keep them the rest (I deleted a bunch). Sending best wishes your way. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/99 "2017-04-11T19:59:55Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Their parents are homeless and looking to place soon. Oh, my goodness! (Is it bad of me to feel sorry for the parents who are in such a bad situation they have to give up their kids? Unless there’s more to the story?) Good luck…you will be so great at this! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357/100 "2017-04-11T20:02:00Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Holy crapola is right. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. > > We went to meet with the adoption agency today, and are officially on the waiting families list. She was like, ‘‘It usually takes 1-2 years, but you guys are open to so many situations we’ll be showing your profile a lot. So it could be theoretically any minute.’’ > > No sooner had we gotten back home when the agency called. They have… a situation that very few couples at their agency would be potentially open to. Normally they don’t contact you before showing your profile because it is such an emotional thing, waiting to hear back and all that. But given the circumstances she had to call just to see if we’d even be interested. > > Two children, a 6 month old and an 18 month old. Their parents are homeless and looking to place soon. > > I said of course we are interested. > \*\* > Sr. Weasel\*\* is currently hyperventilating. > > It could amount to nothing, it could fall through. Or it could be the beginning of our family. Like, nowish. Like, we could have two kids by the end of the month. :eek: > > This is one hell of a ride, let me tell you. Ain’t it just? We had three false alarms before the Firebug, so this may be the real deal, or it may fall through. But get ready to grab an extra crib! You guys are SO in my thoughts and prayers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-going-to-adopt-a-child/768357.md?page=6)