# We are just CO-WORKERS here, not family or friends **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 21, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671 "2006-08-21T23:59:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![The\_Mighty\_Loa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@The\_Mighty\_Loa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mighty_Loa)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/81 "2006-08-24T03:07:29Z")
[QUOTE=Una Persson] My office does not have many events that are “organized”, mainly because most of my co-workers, while multiple-degreed smart, are so brain-dead that the only thing they can talk about outside of work is: a) sports b) their kids c) Labrador retrievers d) God, so long as by “God” you mean the homophobic presbolutherbaptistarian God e) Cabo! And Cozumel! And Cruises! To Cabo! And Cozumel! With drinking! And all you can eat steak buffets! With sat TV! In bars! On the ship! So it’s basically just like being at home! HOWEVER…that means that we have…official office-organized SPORTS EVENTS! Yes, the e-mail goes out, in violation of all corporate policy for mass-internal-spamming, typically in ALL CAPS: YES OH YES, REMEMBER TO WEAR RED ON FRIDAY TO SUPPORT THE WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT MILLIONAIRE SCREW-UPS THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS! WHO ARE TAKING SCADS OF TAX MONEY FROM US EACH YEAR, THREATENING THE CITY WITH A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS, MASS ANAL RAPE, AND SARS IF WE DON’T AGREE TO UNDERWRITE THEIR FUCKING NEW STADIUM!!! REMEMBER, WEAR RED ON FRIDAY OR YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE TWINKLETOED COMMUNIST COCKSUCKING HOMOS, OR WORSE, A HAIRY LEGGED SATAN-WORSHIPPING BULLDYKE LESBO-TERRORIST! So every time the dreaded “Red Friday” rolls around, I get the same shit. “Oh Una, you must not have heard…it’s Red Friday! You’re supposed to support the CHIEFS, verily Gods among men, by wearing torn blue jeans, sneakers, and some sort of red sweatshirt that says “Chiefs” on it that cost $50 for a $2 slave-labour created iron-on - not that stupid $500 black suit-jacket thing you’re wearing because you’re trying to look professional for our clients…don’t you support the CHIEFS??? What do you hate most about America, is it freedom? Is it pickup trucks? Jesus? It’s Jesus, isn’t it? Why is your heart filled with hate for Jesus? Come on, let’s go to the “Goalpost Room” and witness!” Thankfully, I’m going to be taking most every Friday off for the rest of the year… [/QUOTE] Make it a point to where black and silver on red day. If confronted, plead ignorance. OR explain that you only support teams that have made it to the Superbowl in the last 25 years. Point out it’s unseemly to support losers. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/82 "2006-08-24T03:11:15Z")
[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus] I give SBS a 10 for the simple fact that he/she used “co-worker” in the title and not the always annoying “cow-orker” [/QUOTE] What is a cow-orker anyway? It was well before my time, and I don’t have a clue where the original thread is, or what it was called. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/83 "2006-08-24T03:38:21Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] What is a cow-orker anyway? It was well before my time, and I don’t have a clue where the original thread is, or what it was called. [/QUOTE] It’s not a board thing. It was popularized by Scott Adams, the Dilbert guy, but it’s been around longer than that. It’s just a way of referring to coworkers in a demeaning way. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/84 "2006-08-24T04:04:36Z")
[QUOTE=Smeghead] It’s not a board thing. It was popularized by Scott Adams, the Dilbert guy, but it’s been around longer than that. It’s just a way of referring to coworkers in a demeaning way. [/QUOTE] Aha…well thanks! (end of hijack) ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Hello\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Lady)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/85 "2006-08-24T05:11:22Z")
I work in a small office with about 8 other people. We do the card, cake and small gift for the birthdays, but we don’t have to contribute because the company pays. The one thing I hate is the stupid gag gifts our boss buys for birthdays and christmas. It’s company money so I guess he gets a say in what type of gift to buy, but hopefully this practice is ending. If one of us does the shopping, he’ll still make us buy a gag gift. One year I got a giggling baby toy. I am not joking! And that was one of the better gifts that year. If I had children I probably wouldn’t mind so much, but I quietly let it be known that I would rather not receive a present at all than one of these stupid gifts. And it worked this year because one of the ladies did the shopping and she came back with a nice plant for our new home. We also have an end of year Christmas party, usually an early dinner at a restaurant and sometimes spouses are invited. Last year (after years of me suggesting this) my boss decides we’ll have a secret santa, where all staff names are put into a hat and each person buys a gift for the person whos name they pull out. I think the limit was $10. We don’t mind - we’re friends and enjoy doing this sort of thing once a year. Guess who got my name…the boss! That was the year I got a Winnie-the-Pooh musical lunchbox with old wafer biscuits inside. Everyone else got a nice little gift that they enjoyed, I went home cursing my luck. Did I mention I’m leaving the company mid-November…don’t have to endure the Christmas party this year but there will be a nice farewell lunch and a decent gift. (Farewell gifts are good quality and around $100 - usually I do the shopping but I’m making sure someone who knows me well does the buying for me. I know it sounds greedy but I’ve slogged my guts out for this company and I’ll be damned if they are going to screw me out of a decent parting gift!). ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/86 "2006-08-24T05:55:17Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] The idea being that a happy fulfilled employee is a productive one. [/QUOTE] Exactly. And some people are more happy, fulfilled, _and_ productive if they’re not being subjected to extortion or forced to celebrate birthdays and baby showers for people they barely know. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/87 "2006-08-24T06:50:43Z")
[QUOTE=Una Persson] YES OH YES, REMEMBER TO WEAR RED ON FRIDAY TO SUPPORT THE WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT MILLIONAIRE SCREW-UPS THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS! WHO ARE TAKING SCADS OF TAX MONEY FROM US EACH YEAR, THREATENING THE CITY WITH A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS, MASS ANAL RAPE, AND SARS IF WE DON’T AGREE TO UNDERWRITE THEIR FUCKING NEW STADIUM!!! REMEMBER, WEAR RED ON FRIDAY OR YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE TWINKLETOED COMMUNIST COCKSUCKING HOMOS, OR WORSE, A HAIRY LEGGED SATAN-WORSHIPPING BULLDYKE LESBO-TERRORIST! [/QUOTE] One of my mother’s neighbors, Victori, is a childless widow. When the law allowing homosexual marriage was approved, she talked about maybe looking for a nice Romanian girl to marry “wouldn’t it be lovely when my sonsofabitch nephews found out she wasn’t my live-in nurse but my wife and inheritor?” Getting email like that one at work might cause me to do the following: 1. find out what are the colors of the opposing team 2. wear them to work on Friday, preferably with approved, team-sold paraphernalia 3. ask Victori to marry me, why look for a Romanian… you’ve known me since I was 5, you know I can be trusted… ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/88 "2006-08-24T11:52:14Z")
[QUOTE=MelCthefirst] but noone has had the guts to give the lady some constructive feedback. I mean in a very nice but firm way. [/QUOTE] Constructive feedback? Here are some suggestions: [Manage your anger safely](http://www.doodie.com/anger_management.php) \ ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/89 "2006-08-24T18:28:52Z")
\*\* Voodo Lou said (partially) \*\* “If a little silly socializing is all it takes, I think put my distaste aside, sign those cards, chip in a few bucks when I had to, and eat the hell out of that birthday cake.” I agree. This is office politics to the max. Go with the flow. Otherwise your’e going to be stereotyped as an “Outsider” no matter how good a job you do or how long you’ve been there. Especially important when reviews and promotions come up. Real life is a bitch sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/90 "2006-08-25T00:02:31Z")
It just occurred to me that the gift collections stopped in my office after the event coordinator started losing control of how the funds would be used. In the past, the EC always dictated what was bought with the money. When a longtime employee, “Bill,” needed to have surgery, she started a collection to buy him “a nice houseplant.” Bill’s office pal, “John,” pointed out that Bill hates plants and suggested a nice box of cigars instead. Everyone immediately agreed to the cigars and gladly contributed $5 or $10. The EC stomped off to sulk when we refused to get a plant. I don’t mind chipping in for a gift for coworkers I know and like, but I don’t like having my arm twisted. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/91 "2006-08-25T01:22:54Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] That’s great! Jeez, UNA, why they hell don’t you post more anymore??? I miss you. :sniff: [/QUOTE] Hey, didn’t you take a year off or something? Huh? Huh? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/92 "2006-08-25T01:29:28Z")
[QUOTE=handsomeharry] You know, you could wear a totally red t-shirt…with a white disk and a black swastika in the middle of it. It may be a bit much, but cutting edge fashion always is! [/QUOTE] I think that would either get me promoted or fired. Some days, I’m not sure which. [QUOTE=The Mighty Loa] Make it a point to where black and silver on red day. If confronted, plead ignorance. OR explain that you only support teams that have made it to the Superbowl in the last 25 years. Point out it’s unseemly to support losers. [/QUOTE] It’s a good idea in principle, but it might involve me looking like I care about football…and it might encourage my co-workers to talk to me, which is typically not good. Somehow, they have all these issues. [QUOTE=Nava] Getting email like that one at work might cause me to do the following: 1. find out what are the colors of the opposing team 2. wear them to work on Friday, preferably with approved, team-sold paraphernalia 3. ask Victori to marry me, why look for a Romanian… you’ve known me since I was 5, you know I can be trusted… [/QUOTE] You see? You see what happens when football is not protected by a Constitutional Amendment? The hairy-legged lesbo-terrorists win! ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/93 "2006-08-25T01:57:14Z")
[QUOTE=The Mighty Loa] Make it a point to where black and silver on red day. If confronted, plead ignorance. OR explain that you only support teams that have made it to the Superbowl in the last 25 years. Point out it’s unseemly to support losers. [/QUOTE] Oh, God, no. If the OP is going to wear the colors of a divisional rival, it has to be blue and orange. ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/94 "2006-08-25T02:03:44Z")
Thank crap for this thread-I completely forgot about my department pot luck tomorrow. I’m not a cook, so I ran to Albertson’s and picked up a box of those soft frosted sugar cookies. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/95 "2006-08-25T03:12:03Z")
I’m an admin asst and I’m constantly asked by my co-workers to circulate cards for Mary’s birthday or John’s new assignment. Trouble is, no one offers to chip in for the card, so I end up forking out the $3.50 each time out of MY pocket. Whatever. A few months ago, my boss asked me to collect $10 from everyone for a “Sunshine Fund” so that we didn’t have to keep passing the hat for cakes and flowers for occasions such as major birthdays or funerals. Of course only half the people put money in, so I ended up with around $100, which was supposed to be an annual contribution. Then Vicki’s grandmother died. And her immediate manager sent me an e-mail asking me to send flowers “out of the sunshine fund.” Great. So I either spend a significant portion of the money I’ve collected on Vicki’s grandmother’s funeral or I risk looking petty by replying that I think we should limit flowers to spouses, parents, and children because otherwise we’d go broke with $100 and 80 or so odd aging grandparents between the 20 of us. * * * The straw that broke the camel’s back occurred last week. I moved to a new position on June 1st. Last week, the lady who replaced me, Sue, had a mother who suffered a stroke. Being not raised in a barn, I sent her a nice note of sympathy. A day later one of my former managers sent me an e-mail that said something like this, “Like you were before, Sue is a very valued member of our department and we believe it’s important to support her in her time of need. Since the Sunshine Fund is kept by her, it would be inappropriate to ask her to send flowers to herself. So we’re counting on you to help Sue out by coordinating sending flowers and passing around a condolence card on our behalf.” WTF. Since when is “hound co-workers for money” part of my job description? I hate the damn Sunshine Fund. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671/96 "2006-08-25T04:05:46Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] Exactly. And some people are more happy, fulfilled, _and_ productive if they’re not being subjected to extortion or forced to celebrate birthdays and baby showers for people they barely know. [/QUOTE] Well, since reading more of the thread, I’ve realized that our company doesn’t really fall under that category anyway. We do one birthday cake per quarter for everyone whose b-day fell within that quarter. And we only do it for our department of course, not company wide where we have 5000+ employees. And there is very rarely ever a request for donations (and that is a closed envelope no pressure one at that), all “stuff” that happens happens on the company dime as part of Employee Morale. And it’s not stuff like b-days and baby showers, it’s more like going and climbing a glacier, or tubing or some such. We rock! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-just-co-workers-here-not-family-or-friends/369671.md?page=4)