# We are NOT going to die! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 20, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424 "2003-02-20T23:08:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/1 "2003-02-20T23:08:39Z")
Okay. The title is inaccurate. We are going to die, all of us, eventually. I accept that. But let me state something I’m pretty damn sure of: if there is some sort of biological/chemical attack on the US, it will NOT be on a suburb in New Jersey (and sure as hell not on a shitty high school in said suburb), and locking up the doors and hiding in ‘low-ventilation’ areas isn’t gonna save you. AFAIK, the cold war ended, umm…forty some years ago? Jesus, if someone DOES realease, like, smallpox into the philly region, we’re not going to know right away. So when we find out, let’s go hide in the wrestling room or the old auditorium or the new science labs which aren’t, like, held together by masking tape? IT WILL NOT HELP. Having a guidance counselor available to talk about our feelings WILL NOT HELP. Taking up half of first period tomorrow when I COULD be being productive, since I have over a hundred pages of art research due in, like, a month which I cannot get an extension on (damn external assesments…), I really, REALLY don’t want to waste half of art class to reinvent cold-war ‘kiss your ass goodbye’ drills. Grrrr. Your job as the school is to TEACH us. NOT to fill the idiotic masses with even more baseless fears than are already out there. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/2 "2003-02-20T23:39:03Z")
> [@](#): > > AFAIK, the cold war ended, umm…forty some years ago? [nitpick] The cold war ended shortly after you were born. [/nitpick] (I agree that most of the current hoopla–including Bush contradicting his own security czar–are of the same quality as the old “duck and cover” films.) ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/3 "2003-02-20T23:53:07Z")
That was probably hyperbole, **tom~**. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/4 "2003-02-21T00:20:56Z")
[Duct Tape and Cover!](http://www.solidarity.com/hkcartoons/duckandcover.html) ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/5 "2003-02-21T01:17:39Z")
I live in NJ. I don’t even know where the high school in this city is. Now, where’s my shovel? ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/6 "2003-02-21T01:32:50Z")
Well, maybe **you** don’t think it’s worthwhile but I certainly do! I’m going to tie a plastic bag around my head myself–that’ll keep away all those toxic chemicals and nasty bugs! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/7 "2003-02-21T01:55:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wabbit \* > \*\*Well, maybe **you** don’t think it’s worthwhile but I certainly do! I’m going to tie a plastic bag around my head myself–that’ll keep away all those toxic chemicals and nasty bugs! > 😉 \*\* Half measures like that aren’t going to do anything. I suggest you follow my lead, and epoxy all your orifices shut. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/8 "2003-02-21T02:19:59Z")
Done! Bring it on Osama–Wabbit is ready! ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/9 "2003-02-21T04:44:36Z")
I was driving in town yesterday with a friend. This is a small Canadian city (about 4000 people). It’s out in the middle of nowhere. At exactly 7 pm we heard this blaring siren thing. I had no idea what it was, turns out the city was doing a test of our “emergency system”. Yeah, I think that was a usefull thing alright. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/10 "2003-02-21T08:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Magayuk \* > \*\*I was driving in town yesterday with a friend. This is a small Canadian city (about 4000 people). It’s out in the middle of nowhere. At exactly 7 pm we heard this blaring siren thing. I had no idea what it was, turns out the city was doing a test of our “emergency system”. > > Yeah, I think that was a usefull thing alright. \*\* And I live in a small town here in Ohio where we test our emergency siren every Monday morning. But when it went off on November 10, 2002 at about 3 in the afternoon, it was telling us about the F4 tornado that was heading toward the town. That is why small towns have those sirens. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/11 "2003-02-21T08:04:13Z")
> [@](#): > > We are going to die, all of us, eventually. Speak for yourself, mortal!! ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/12 "2003-02-21T16:11:48Z")
My personal favorite part of the whole ‘terrorist attack home defence plan’ is if you do it correctly you will end up killing your family 🙂 The only way to keep those nasty chemical and biological agents out of your home is to seal it off completely. Which is a problem for air breathing organisms. Just think if you had bean burritos! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/13 "2003-02-21T17:36:52Z")
I couln’t help but think of [this.](http://www.realultimatepower.net/) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/14 "2003-02-21T17:48:39Z")
When I find that cabal of vampires to turn me into a child of the night, I shall surely laugh when all of you are turned to dust! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/15 "2003-02-21T19:37:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*When I find that cabal of vampires to turn me into a child of the night, I shall surely laugh when all of you are turned to dust! > > Esprix \*\* Mental note: Invite Esprix over after investing in powerful UV lights for my apt. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/16 "2003-02-22T00:04:21Z")
So, we had our drill today. Picture this: first period on the first full day of school in over a week (THANK YOU, SNOW GODS!!!) Four hundred students in my designated ‘safe area’. The supervisor who was supposed to be in charge did not show up. There were DEFINITELY some bodily orifices I’d have LOVED to epoxy shut. Not mine (other than maybe my ears…) Anyway, NinjaDad shared an amusing anecdote last night about how he had duck-and-cover drills in elementary school. NinjaDad grew up in Maryland, about…ten-fifteen minutes from DC. NinjaDad has a vintage map from a newspaper showing how, in the ‘best case’ scenario involving a nuclear bomb in DC (admittedly, a prime target), the vaporization zone would extend about a mile past his school. Yeah, so that would have helped, just like our drills…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/17 "2003-02-22T00:44:13Z")
Hell, I live a few hundred yards from one of Saddam’s favorite targets - the _Kiryah_ or IDF command - and all I have is a government-issued gas mask and some bottled water. Duct tape? Plastic? That was old back in '91. I also ride the bus, eat in restaurant and shop in malls. So there. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/18 "2003-02-22T01:23:51Z")
THE GREAT CTHULHU does not fear terrorist attacks. Even if a nuke goes off, scifi movies have taught THE GREAT CTHULHU that the radiation will just make me even bigger than I am now. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/19 "2003-02-22T01:24:36Z")
THE GREAT CTHULHU does not fear terrorist attacks. Even if a nuke goes off, scifi movies have taught THE GREAT CTHULHU that the radiation will just make me into a horrible monster, which THE GREAT CTHULHU already is. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424/20 "2003-02-22T02:53:56Z")
Is the double-yet-altered post a byproduct of the radiation, mayhaps? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-not-going-to-die/156424.md?page=2)