# We are so full of ourselves... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2009, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827 "2009-02-21T06:43:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/1 "2009-02-21T06:43:11Z")
It’s sad that, even though we understand intellectually that we should live each day to the fullest, we still don’t. We stress and fret over the smallest things, and worse, we think ourselves to be so high and mighty for our little accomplishments. Of course, I know that I’m falling into a reductionist spiral here, where I say that ultimately nothing matters because there is something bigger out there. But since this is in the MPSIMS, I guess it’s okay. Does anyone else think about how really pointless a lot of the things we worry about are? I’m finding myself doing this more and more, and it’s frustrating because there doesn’t seem to be a way to turn it off.☹ ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/2 "2009-02-21T14:31:51Z")
Never lose sight of the fact that the yoke of worry you carry, heavily upon your shoulders, day after day is something that only gets there in one fashion. Each and every day, when you wake, you willingly load the worry yoke! It is your master and you are it’s slave! You alone possess the power to choose not to wear it, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. The world will not end if you refuse the worry yoke for a day. Try it, if you dare, and see. I warn you though, this is what leads to the slaves breaking free from the masters! ---
**Author:** ![Karyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Karyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karyn)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/3 "2009-02-21T14:41:31Z")
Can you give us some examples of what you worry about? Some worries are reasonable so I figure out what I’ll do in the worst case scenario and then put it out of my mind until the time comes to deal with it. Some are unreasonable things that I can’t do anything about so I don’t dwell on them. For example, if big things like world hunger bother you and you feel that there’s nothing that you can do but fret about it, look a bit closer to home and go volunteer at a soup kitchen. I think that no matter what you worry about you need to develop the ability to put something out of your mind and stop thinking about it at least for a while. It’s easier said than done at first but after a while you get used to telling your mind ‘not now’. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/4 "2009-02-21T15:23:49Z")
No offense, but speak for yourself. Some of us are well aware of that fact and don’t fall prey to it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/5 "2009-02-22T20:05:52Z")
> [@picker](#): > > No offense, but speak for yourself. > > Some of us are well aware of that fact and don’t fall prey to it. Yeah. I’m pretty happy. I DO believe I’m a unique snowflake… we are all, in fact, unique snowflakes, and just because someone is not universally known and loved does not mean they are not important or interesting. I think the idea that we are all common and would be better off accepting mediocrity is a well-meaning lie. There is nothing common and unimportant about every day life. So much of our greatness and life satisfaction stems from the choices we make. The world is full of extraordinary people who never make the front page news. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/6 "2009-02-22T22:52:14Z")
> [@picker](#): > > No offense, but speak for yourself. > > Some of us are well aware of that fact and don’t fall prey to it. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > So much of our greatness and life satisfaction stems from the choices we make. The world is full of extraordinary people who never make the front page news. Yup! Sure, I’m not setting the world on fire, but I’m happy. I recognise which worries are worth spending time on (although I try to approach them in a problem-solving way and not a ‘fretting’ way) … and which ones will probably \*never \*happen, so I just don’t let them rent space in my head. I suspect the OP’s problem is that he is, after all, a ‘statsman’. If you’re looking at the world from the perspective of averages, your perspective is bound to get more than a little skewed. Bring it back to the individual, and the world’s frequently not as bad as it’s made out to be. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/7 "2009-02-22T23:25:05Z")
You’re a grad student-- it’s your modus operandi. It’s a state of being. Stop worrying about your worrying. Consider it an annealing process. Have a beer. Watch some Venture Brothers. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/8 "2009-02-22T23:36:16Z")
I’m finding I worry a lot less now that my nightmares have come true. I think I would have preferred a less traumatic way to stop worrying, but it is what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/9 "2009-02-23T12:45:42Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I’m finding I worry a lot less now that my nightmares have come true. I think I would have preferred a less traumatic way to stop worrying, but it is what it is. _hugs **jsgoddess** _ ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/10 "2009-02-23T13:49:38Z")
I worry about small things and react fairly calmly to big things. I rather prefer it that way. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/11 "2009-02-23T13:56:12Z")
Dupe ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/12 "2009-02-23T14:12:22Z")
Lazlo’s Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately 1 billion Chinese people couldn’t care less. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/13 "2009-02-23T15:40:36Z")
For most people, life can’t be lived in a big-picture way all of the time: it would be overwhelming, and probably even paralyzing. What matters is the awareness that there _is_ a big picture. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/14 "2009-02-23T16:27:47Z")
Living each day to the fullest sounds a lot like living each day as if it were our last. You only need to do that one time and wake up the following day to realize that hedging your bets might not be a bad idea.Life is day to day so it doesn’t seem too weird to get bogged down in little problems as if they were big ones. Most days will have another that follows…all except one. Not bad odds. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/15 "2009-02-23T19:18:04Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > Does anyone else think about how really pointless a lot of the things we worry about are? I’m finding myself doing this more and more, and it’s frustrating because there doesn’t seem to be a way to turn it off.☹ What are you so worried about? Not everyone worries about pointless things. I don’t, at least not that often, anymore. What you have to realize is that if you don’t worry about these pointless things that nothing will change. Life will be the same. Most people figure this out when they deal with a really serious problems and then realize how small all their other problems are. But if you know your problems are pointless you shouldn’t be worried about them. It sounds to me like you are not too sure. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/16 "2009-02-23T19:27:58Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Each and every day, when you wake, you willingly load the worry yoke! Yeah, but that’s only because the organic yokes cost 3x as much for a dozen. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/17 "2009-02-23T19:37:44Z")
On roughly the same subject, the late [David Foster Wallace](http://www.marginalia.org/dfw_kenyon_commencement.html): > [@](#): > > As I’m sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now). Twenty years after my own graduation, I have come gradually to understand that the liberal arts cliché about teaching you how to think is actually shorthand for a much deeper, more serious idea: learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about quote the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master. > > This, like many clichés, so lame and unexciting on the surface, actually expresses a great and terrible truth. It is not the least bit coincidental that adults who commit suicide with firearms almost always shoot themselves in: the head. They shoot the terrible master. And the truth is that most of these suicides are actually dead long before they pull the trigger. > > And I submit that this is what the real, no bullshit value of your liberal arts education is supposed to be about: how to keep from going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head and to your natural default setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone day in and day out. He had a lot more to say. This was from a commencement speech. It’s not a coincidence, either, that these are the words of a very smart, very aware person who killed himself – who was ultimately ineffective, by all indications, at escaping the trap he was warning about. This was a person who understood the sort of despair (a Wallace word) you’re talking about, I’ll wager, better than you do, and certainly better than I do, and he thought it was a battle that we can win, but more importantly, one we can fight, if you know what I mean. It’s something we exercise control over. That’s a big deal: “constructing meaning from experience.” ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/18 "2009-02-23T21:41:59Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > It’s sad that, even though we understand intellectually that we should live each day to the fullest, we still don’t. What does that really even mean, “Live each day to the fullest”? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/19 "2009-02-23T23:58:44Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What does that really even mean, “Live each day to the fullest”? ## In my case it probably means I should spend less time on The Dope 😛 Understand that worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing gum. the **real** problems in your live are likely to’ve never crossed your worried mind right up until the time the blindsided you on some idle tuesday afternoon…but trust me, on the sunscreen ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827/20 "2009-02-23T23:58:53Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What does that really even mean, “Live each day to the fullest”? I’m fairly sure it involves chocolate, coffee and pizza. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-are-so-full-of-ourselves/486827.md?page=2)