# We can write better fortune cookies than that! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 31, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436 "2010-05-31T23:46:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/21 "2010-06-01T13:34:18Z")
Some favorite fortunes: **You Are Dead** – Fortune received by Harry Folger (Eliott Gould) in The Twilight Zone Episode “The Misfortune Cookie”, 1986 **That Wasn’t Chicken** – Seen online ( [http://www2.fundeposit.com/That%20wasn’t%20chicken%20-%20fortune%20cookie.jpg](http://www2.fundeposit.com/That%20wasn%27t%20chicken%20-%20fortune%20cookie.jpg) ) **Confucius Say: Who say I say all these things they say I say?** – Received in a known to be humerous fortune cookie. ---
**Author:** ![snowmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@snowmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowmaster)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/22 "2010-06-01T14:04:50Z")
Success favors the prepared mind. Fortune favors the bold. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/23 "2010-06-02T03:04:19Z")
They could at least be useful, like… “Never wash panty hose loose with your regular wash because they will tie everything in knots” (Lucky numbers: 24 5 17 32 12) ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/24 "2010-06-02T03:20:49Z")
“Every house has a bathroom.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/25 "2010-06-02T06:21:57Z")
Behind you. This is a stick up. Leave your wallet on the table and walk away slowly. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/26 "2010-06-02T06:27:26Z")
“If you want to live, go straight to the nearest hospital, and make arrangements to be placed on dialysis as soon as possible.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/27 "2010-06-02T06:52:59Z")
Our operatives have found the nuclear device. It is located in -------SEE NEXT COOKIE------- ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/28 "2010-06-02T12:17:01Z")
I know someone who once had a fortune cookie with a communiqué inside that read, “you will find true love on Flag Day.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/29 "2010-06-02T12:37:13Z")
\*\*This is a Grenade Cookie. You have just pulled the pin. Copy this Fortune and give it to the people on this list, putting your own name at the bottom. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN. Hand Wash, Drip Dry. DO NOT DRY CLEAN. Silica Gel. Do Not Eat Aristotle Say: The Gods, Too, are fond of a joke. What is Life? Show your work. This fortune is defective\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/30 "2010-06-02T13:34:15Z")
\*\*That girl? The one at on your left? She wants to kill you. \*\* **The fifteen percent service charge does not go to the waiter.** ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/31 "2010-06-03T01:30:51Z")
Always take the third alternative. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/32 "2010-06-03T03:29:30Z")
“You are not paranoid. They ARE conspiring to get you.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/33 "2010-06-03T04:00:18Z")
[Earlier thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=523925) ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436/34 "2010-06-03T04:06:55Z")
“Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-can-write-better-fortune-cookies-than-that/541436.md?page=1)