# "We do not need an invitation. We do not believe in it." **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 30, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981 "2003-07-30T20:43:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/21 "2003-07-30T23:49:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by theendisnear \* > Ok, call me dense but i don’t get it. Are they threatening to come to your wedding without an invitation because they “don’t believe in them,” or are they just saying they don’t need an invitation to a wedding they weren’t invited to anyways because they don’t believe in gay marriage? I interpreted it as the latter. “Don’t bother to send us an invitation to the wedding, because we deny the validity of it.” ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/22 "2003-07-30T23:51:21Z")
Well, I’m sure their rock-ribbed righteousness will be a great comfort to them in their old age. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/23 "2003-07-30T23:53:50Z")
Hey **Scott** don’t forget to start playing the lotto as well, this situation has poetic justice written all over it. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/24 "2003-07-30T23:55:12Z")
Why would people(I use the term loosely) like that even be sending a birthday card? Just to have the chance to be hateful? ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/25 "2003-07-30T23:56:11Z")
On a birthday card? What utter asshats. Complete and utter asshats. I’d print this thread, put it in the card, put the card back in the envelope and send it right back to them. They don’t deserve to consider themselves parents. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/26 "2003-07-31T00:43:16Z")
We shoud invent a “Take your conditional love and ram it up your arse and fuck you both in hell” hallmark style card for Mr Evil and the future Mr Evil to send to them. Whatever the card says, the inside picture **MUST** be the goatse guy. ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/27 "2003-07-31T01:07:11Z")
Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! I say send the card back with “What invitation?” scrawled under their nasty little note. ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/28 "2003-07-31T01:11:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*What an obnoxious thing for her to do. As a side note per your history of the situation, how does an adult son or daughter “legally divorce” their parents? Is this a Canadian thing? \*\* It’s called “emancipation.” Essentially, if you can prove your parents are grotestquely abusive, the court can cut all legal ties between you. They become strangers in the eyes of the law. I looked into it when I was 17, but I was afraid to bring evidence against my parents. A close friend of mine did it when he was 14, and became a ward of the court. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/29 "2003-07-31T01:41:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Seven \* > \*\*Whatever the card says, the inside picture **MUST** be the goatse guy. \*\* Given the context I’m almost afraid to ask, but what’s “the goatse guy”? **scott evil** , you should print out the OP and send it to those assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/30 "2003-07-31T02:42:16Z")
I think you should sent your out-laws an uninvitation. _You are cordially not invited To not join Scott Evil and Main Squeeze As they exchange marriage vows Without you At 400 Smith Street At 4 o’clock, Saturday August 32nd. RSVP: Don’t Bother_ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/31 "2003-07-31T02:48:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*I think you should sent your out-laws an uninvitation. > > \*At 400 Smith Street > At 4 o’clock, Saturday August 32nd. > > * * * Actually, that should be; _We’re not telling you when or where_ ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/32 "2003-07-31T02:51:53Z")
Well, the subject of marriage and in-laws is one area where I can offer good advice. Taken from the straight perspective, you have a very common problem. Bad in-laws, who don’t approve. I can relate. Trust me on this. Let your spouse to be make the judgements and decide the course of action as relates to his side of the family. It really is your partners’ problem to handle, not yours, and you can cause some horrible feelings if you attack you spouse-to-be’s family. Support your party, and let him lead the way in this. Don’t get between your spouse and the in-laws. Do not. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/33 "2003-07-31T03:15:52Z")
It makes me so angry and upset that people could even think something like that, much less write it. I really wish you didn’t have to deal with this kind of crap. I’m sad just to know it happens. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/34 "2003-07-31T04:00:54Z")
Let me add my little side-rant here, for all the debate about gay marriage that’s going on in Alberta right now - if I hear “Marriage is between a man and a woman” preceding some close-minded, conservative, anachronistic bullshit one more time, so help me, I’m going to… well, I probably won’t do anything, but I’m getting awful damned tired of hearing it. Marriage is between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together, and want their loved ones and the authorities who make the rules to witness their public commitment to each other. Sorry you’re having to deal with this, **Scott**. Best wishes for your upcoming life of wedded bliss. (Well, it’s not always blissful, but you probably knew that.) ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/35 "2003-07-31T04:03:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chimera \* > \*\*Actually, that should be; > > _We’re not telling you when or where_ \*\* Uh, yeah. Because there’s a great danger of them showing up on August 32. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/36 "2003-07-31T04:07:58Z")
Another old married with crap for in-laws checking in. I agree with\*\* Scylla\*\* DO NOT get between your spouse and your inlaws. It won’t be good. That being said I hope the rest of your lives goes ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!! We let his parents know 4 days before the wedding out of fears of them trying to stop it or pulling some legal trick to prevent it. At least you dont have that worry! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/37 "2003-07-31T04:18:55Z")
BTW, are you getting frazzled with the wedding plans yet? Get many goodies yet? ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/38 "2003-07-31T04:23:05Z")
> [@](#): > > We shoud invent a “Take your conditional love and ram it up your arse and fuck you both in hell” hallmark style card We need a thread like that… “Hallmark cards we must see marketed.” Parents like that are horrible, and I’m terribly sorry you have to deal with this Scott. I wish you much happiness in marriage once your non-laws disappear in a puff of putrid smoke as I hope they do. Anyway threads like these are why I really need this board, so that I can really understand issues such as gay marriage instead of intellectualizing them and responding with some dogmatic religious reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/39 "2003-07-31T04:46:31Z")
Oh **scott** , I am so sorry. I wish I could add something relevant, but everyone here has already said everything I wanted to say. All I can add is my wish for a bright and happy future for the both of you. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981/40 "2003-07-31T04:54:50Z")
I am so sorry that you had to deal with this. Is their bigotry due to regular ignorance or misguided religious ignorance. You see, my in-laws are very religious Christians. Years before I met my wife, one of their other daughters came out to the family. Her parents were devistated. Her father wrote her long letters about how she won’t get to join him in the Kingdom of Heaven. It was horrible. I am happy to say that all of these years later, her parents have come full circle and are as accepting as they can be. My sister-in-law and her partner visit them all the time and the whole thing is a non-issue with the parents. People can come around. I hope that this happens to you to. As a side note, this incident made things one hell of a lot easier on my wife when she told them she was going to marry a Jew and later when she became Jewish herself. My sister-in-law’s partner and I referred to ourselves as the “kike and the dyke.” Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Haj [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-do-not-need-an-invitation-we-do-not-believe-in-it/191981.md?page=3)