# We don't need no blooming onions. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 10, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778 "2002-04-10T03:11:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/1 "2002-04-10T03:11:17Z")
We have long since forgiven the US for Uncle Sam deodorant. We’ve forgiven you for KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and Dominoes. We may even one day forgive you for McDonalds. We even **like** you for Sizzler. Imagine then my shock at finding in my local paper yesterday an advertisement for “The Outback Steakhouse” (whose slogan should surely be "The Aussie food you have when you’re not having Aussie food). This kind of betrayal cannot go unavenged. We intend to infiltrate your culture with Chiko Rolls and battered savs until you withdraw. We will send in guerrila troops to put beetroot and pineapple on your hamburgers. We will replace your chocolate spread with vegemite and your Budweiser with Fosters. And if you still do not capitulate, we will undermine the cultural fabric of your nation by introducing pie floaters to the US - that’ll teach you. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/2 "2002-04-10T03:39:05Z")
\ We don’t need no Bloomin’ Onions We don’t want their cholesterol! No Aussie Cheese Fries in our bellies Hey! Veggies! Leave those wings alone! Outback Steakhouse: You’re a crappy shithole. Outback Steakhouse: You’re a crappy shithole! \< /Pink Floyd\> Fenris, who doesn’t mind their leathery, flavorless steaks, mediocre service and uninspired menu as much as their annoying fake Aussie-accented radio ads that are \*\*SIXTY-FOUR BILLION DECIBLES \*\* louder than any other ad. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/3 "2002-04-10T03:58:23Z")
“Bloomin’ Onion? We don’t need no stinkin’ Bloomin Onion!” ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/4 "2002-04-10T04:15:14Z")
Sizzler’s American??? Shit. Anyway, YOU may forgive them for all those things, but I still don’t forgive them for Starbucks. At least, not until it imitates ‘Schlotsky’s Sidewalk Cafe’ and **closes down in utter humiliation and bankruptcy** (cue maniacal laughter here) [Embarassing confession] I like Maccas [/Embarassing confession] ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/5 "2002-04-10T04:26:21Z")
At least their [menu’s](http://www.outback.com/menu/) a hoot (I’d forgotten about Starbucks, and The Lone Star). Crawfish? Shrimp? Yep, they get heaps of those in Toowoomba. And WTF is Monterey Jack? Notice the absence of Vegemite and Coon cheese from the sanger menu. Not a pavlova in sight on the dessert menu. And you’ve got to love the references to “New York style” (what’s the obsession with cinnamon apples anyway?). At least I know where **not** to eat if I’m ever in the US and I feel homesick for Aussie tucker. And what’s with them locating the store at Parklea - it’s not anywhere near where the tourist hang out, so they aren’t even going to be able to con anyone into thinking it’s authentic. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/6 "2002-04-10T06:19:57Z")
I have never heard of Uncle Sam Deodorant. They have opened Outbacks in Australia? Weird. Any way, who cares. I have this theory that one day there will some great cataclysm, whether it be disease, nuclear war, or even asteroid, that will destroy much of world civilization leaving only the well isolated Australians to finally rule the world. Oh well, no worries. ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/7 "2002-04-10T07:38:18Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Aspidistra_ > …YOU may forgive them for all those things, but I still don’t forgive them for Starbucks. Exactly. Here in Melbourne we are lucky enough to have the best espresso coffee available from scores, no hundreds, of excellent little coffee places all over the city and suburbs. We don’t need phoney, false, cutesy, price-inflated, marketing-directored, art-directored, just plain BAD coffee! Gaaaaagh! [hijack] Also, welcome to the Boards **Aspy** mate - have you checked out [Dopers Downunder](http://www4.tpgi.com.au/brownlee/frame.html) yet? worth a visit![/hijack] Redboss ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/8 "2002-04-10T09:21:07Z")
Psssst, **Redboss**? Check out his registration date. He’s just shy, but he’s not new. 😉 Having said that: BWAHAHAHAHAAA!! **Outback Steakhouse** opens an affiliate in Australia? I’m dying over here! 🙂 Reminds me of that time I spotted a _“Real American Hot Dog”_ stand in Hamburg, Germany. Dude. This is _Germany_, fercryinoutloud. It’s safe to say these people know their sausages. Then again, the hot dog vendor probably was German, of course. Another example: [Santa Claus is based on _Saint Nicholas_](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/msantaclaus.html). Ironically enough, Santa Claus is now almost as popular in the Netherlands as his “father”, _Sinterklaas_ (the phonetic version of the name). We’ve reaped what we’ve sown, I guess. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/9 "2002-04-10T11:13:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by reprise \* > **And WTF is Monterey Jack?** A very good cheese. Think very mild cheddar, but melts better. \*\* > [@](#): > > Notice the absence of Vegemite and Coon cheese from the sanger menu.\*\* Had vegemite when I was in Scotland (on a dare: “I’ll try the haggis if you try the Vegemite.” I got the short end of the stick. Pfagh. Pblech. eeeewwww. Oh, and from your first post you said "We even like you for Sizzler. " For heaven’s sake: _Why_? Other than it’s salad bar, it’s actually _worse_ than Outback by a fair measure. And did anyone look at their menu? They describe one of their appetizers as a true Ab-original. _There’s_ a way to be sensitive. What’s next: a Jew-licious Oven-Roasted Chicken? A Niggerriffic-Spare Ribs entree? :rolleyes: Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/10 "2002-04-10T11:22:43Z")
Why is that insensitive? Sure, it’s a cheesy play on words, but “Aboriginals” or “Aboriginees” _are_ accepted terms for the native population of Australia. Or did I miss a meeting on that one? ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/11 "2002-04-10T11:29:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by reprise \* > \*\*We will replace your chocolate spread with vegemite and your Budweiser with Fosters. > \*\* It’s about time someone replaced our Bud with SOMETHING. Bud is yucky. Ptoooey. Send good beer. Thanks. L ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/12 "2002-04-10T11:32:07Z")
I like pineapple on hamburgers. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/13 "2002-04-10T11:32:14Z")
Sorry, Reprise… I do NOT agree on the Sizzler thing! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/14 "2002-04-10T11:32:51Z")
Foster’s is pretty bad too, IMHO. The Aussies are clearly keeping the good stuff to themselves, while deceiving the innocent Americans with the old _“It’s from far away, therefore it’s good”_-scam, otherwise known as the _Heineken Maneuver_. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/15 "2002-04-10T11:33:23Z")
Outback Steakhouses here! It must mean war. Let us not remain satisfied with infiltrating the Great Satan with beetroots and pineapple and vegimite. We must attack America’s allies and trading partners too. As I write, my local Lucky Golden Dragon Chinese Takeaway is preparing greasy prawn crackers and a sickly batch of sweet & sour pork to send to China. Samuai Kitchen, the sushi bar around the corner is whipping up teriyaki chicken rolls - with little tomato sauce sachets - for a post haste carpet-bombing of Japan. And the local Mr Lasagne has plans for Italy… oily, Coon cheese-covered plans. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/16 "2002-04-10T11:34:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Why is that insensitive? > Sure, it’s a cheesy play on words, but “Aboriginals” or “Aboriginees” _are_ accepted terms for the native population of Australia. > > Or did I miss a meeting on that one? \*\* Dunno? Maybe I did! 😉 I thought the term was considered vaguely insulting…carrying a “primitives”-type connotation. Isn’t their actual name Maori (sp?) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/17 "2002-04-10T11:36:40Z")
My misspelling of **Vegemite** was obviously a ploy to weed out the foreigners infiltrators among us. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/18 "2002-04-10T11:37:11Z")
That would be the native population of New Zealand. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/19 "2002-04-10T11:38:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > **I thought the term was considered vaguely insulting…carrying a “primitives”-type connotation. Isn’t their actual name Maori (sp?)** Stone the crows!:eek: I’ve spotted an infiltrator! ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778/20 "2002-04-10T11:43:24Z")
Aboriginal is an “acceptable” term here - one question on most government forms is “are you of Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander descent?” - but it isn’t one people tend to use as a self-description. It’s becoming more and more common for people with Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander ancestry to refer to the specific tribal/clan connections in their heritage. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-dont-need-no-blooming-onions/102778.md?page=2)