We have a winner for the title of West Virginia's dumbest lawyer

The first time I ever remember seeing him he was still using jtgain as a username and it was a thread on the Newcomb paradox. There were literally 3 camps.[ul]
[li]Those who favoured the one box argument but understood the two box argument[/li][li]Those who favoured the two box argument but understood the one box argument[/li][li]jtgain[/li][/ul]

He went on for pages thick-headedly not understanding, despite multitudes of people on both sides of the argument explaining it to him. I painted him then as a moron and have seen nothing in the years since that would change my mind.

My main memory of him is that he thinks same-sex marriages will lead to people marrying their washing machines, or something. He’s that terrible combination of malevolent and stupid.

Nm

OMG, that’s what happened to jtgain? I thought he must have taken a walk around the block and got lost or something.

Well now…MY washing machine is 18 or even a little bit older, and very nearly sentient, and practically able to sign binding contracts. Not to mention being pretty damn hot, when sheets are being washed at least. If I weren’t already a married man I’d have to consider going for it.

I’m guessing your washing machine isn’t quite so attractive. Pity.

Back off, dude, mine’s great, but that still doesn’t mean it’s good for much more than a tumble.

I like to take mine for a spin.

He’s the kind of lawyer who looks up to Michael Cohen without a whiff of irony.

A tumble, hmm? I use my dryer for that.
But each to his own.

Maybe if you married one, you could change your username.

Maybe does it all by hand.

Lance you win the Internet for starting this. UltraVires is a hateful, narrow-minded, illogical troglodyte. I pity his clients. I don’t know them. I may not like them. I do support a fair and equal Justice system with representation for all. This requires [del]good[/del] [del]decent[/del] some type of representation for court, but lord knows self-representation is bound to be better than having UV do it.

This was the quote I was going to Pit him over:

‘She’ being Dr. Ford, of course.

I don’t recall his saying so directly, although he certainly implies it. My guess is he’s some nobody who learned a little terminology from watching too many TV shows, and tries to pass himself off safely on an anonymous message board. I don’t think he’s the first Doper to try that, either.

Did you post a link to this in the relevant thread? It took me a while to understand what this thread was for.

Post of the week!

He’s not anonymous though. Either he’s stealing the online identity of someone else or he is a lawyer.

I do believe he’s a West Virginian. :wink:

He is aware of this thread. He’s probably reading along.

Hey buddy. You’re a piece of shit.

Being the worst lawyer in West Virginia is probably like being the worst stripper in Lubbock, TX. Pretty low bar, and the height you have to reach to be the best isn’t all that high,
either.