# We have found a witch. May we burn her? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974 "2000-06-29T04:41:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/61 "2000-06-30T09:20:41Z")
You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Sons of a window-dresser with your silly knees-bent running about and prancing behavior. You tiny-brained wiper of other people’s bottoms. _I’ve actually used this one a few tmes)_ How do you think I got this _outrageous_ accent, you silly King! You second-hand electric donkey-bottom biter. okay, so 20 years later it still makes me laugh out loud. must be drain bamage. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/62 "2000-06-30T14:35:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > SwimmingRiddles sang: > > something something something > > \*\* If memory serves, the second verse is He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken, to have his kneecaps split and his body burnt away, and his legs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/63 "2000-06-30T15:06:37Z")
As if you needed me to help you find Monty Python scripts on the web, here’s all you need: [http://www.intriguing.com/mp/scripts/](http://www.intriguing.com/mp/scripts/) not that I think people should stop adding to this thread or anything. Coming up with lines from memory is the fun part. ---
**Author:** ![Phobos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Phobos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phobos)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/64 "2000-06-30T17:54:30Z")
my sister was once bitten by a moose… ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/65 "2000-06-30T19:56:33Z")
Why not trei a holiday in Sweden this year? ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/66 "2000-06-30T20:30:38Z")
The Management wishes to inform that those in charge of sacking those responsible for the credits have now been sacked. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/67 "2000-06-30T20:53:19Z")
Arthur: Now what happens? Bedevere: Well now, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall and then leap out of the rabbit and take the French by surprise, not only by surprise but totally unarmed! Arthur: Who … Who leaps out of the rabbit? Bedevere: Uh … Launcelot, Galahad, and I … uh … leap out of the rabbit and … Perhaps, if we were to build a large wooden badger… **And…** God: Arthur! Arrrrrthur … King of the Britons … \ God: Oh, don’t grovel … do get up! If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people grovelling!! Arthur: Sorry lord… God: And don’t apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it’s sorry this and forgive me that and I’m not worthy… What are you doing now? Arthur: I’m averting my eyes, o’ Lord. God: Well, don’t. I really don’t know where all this got started. It’s like those miserable psalms. they’re so depressing. Now knock it of Arthur: Yes, Lord. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/68 "2000-06-30T21:02:23Z")
(A huge Roman amphitheatre, sparsely attended. REG, FRANCIS, STAN and JUDITH are seated in the stands. They speak conspiratorially.) Judith: Any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must _reflect_ such a divergence of interests within its power-base. Reg: Agreed. (General nodding.) Reg: Francis? Francis: I think Judith’s point of view is valid here, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man– Stan: Or woman. Francis: Or woman…to rid himself– Stan: Or herself. Reg: Or herself. Agreed. Thank you, brother. Stan: Or sister. Francis: Thank you, brother. Or sister. Where was I? Reg: I thought you’d finished. Francis: Oh, did I? Right. Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man … Stan: Or woman. Reg: Why don’t you shut up about women, Stan, you’re putting us off. Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg. Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan? Stan: (pause) I want to be one. (pregnant pause) Reg: What? Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta. Reg: What!? Stan: It’s my right as a man. Judith: Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan? Stan: I want to have babies. Reg: You want to have babies?!?!?! Stan: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them. Reg: But you can’t have babies. Stan: Don’t you oppress me. Reg: I’m not oppressing you, Stan – you haven’t got a womb. Where’s the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box? (Stan starts crying.) Judith: Here! I’ve got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans’, but that he can have the _right_ to have babies. Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry. Reg: (pissed) What’s the _point_? Francis: What? Reg: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can’t have babies? Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression. Reg: It’s symbolic of his struggle against reality. ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/69 "2000-07-04T11:55:42Z")
Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974/70 "2000-07-04T19:50:19Z")
Help! Help! There’s been a flood, and now I’m floating away in this church. Also floating along are all these very small rocks, cherries, and lead. Help! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-have-found-a-witch-may-we-burn-her/23974.md?page=3)