# We haven't perfected the fucking spout, yet? Really? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 15, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644 "2008-01-15T20:05:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/1 "2008-01-15T20:05:49Z")
Like, srsly, ya know. wtf. The fucking spout!!! Weren’t the fucking ancient Egyptians and ancient Greeks making vessels that poured water? Have all civilizations up to now just been pleased as punch to pour punch down the front of whatever the fuck they were wearing? Shouldn’t Mr. Coffee be up to date on the latest in spout technology? Did they ever think that people might want to pour liquid out of that large vessel with the handle into something smaller than a sink without pouring it all over the counter top? Braun? Aren’t they German? If German’s can’t get something engineered right, what the Tuetonic fuck are they here for? I guaran-fucking-tee you they’re all in cahoots with the people at Bounty. Bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/2 "2008-01-15T20:07:55Z")
::gives Trunk a napkin:: Hey, it happens to all of us. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/3 "2008-01-15T20:08:30Z")
Are you a disgruntled banquet server or did you just soil your clothes with some non-graceful pouring? 😃 Here’s a Paper Towel… ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/4 "2008-01-15T20:12:20Z")
Back in the day, when I was a waiter, I used to pour coffee out of the side of the carafe. You know, the part with no lip at all, just a rim. It works great once you get the hang of it. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/5 "2008-01-15T20:24:06Z")
Amen to the OP. I’m not even going to start with the tacky little aluminum tea pots you get in a restaurant. I drink tea at home mostly, but when Im out, it has to be coffee. Because im not paying for a tea bag and a chance to pour boiling water all over the table and possibly me. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/6 "2008-01-15T21:00:33Z")
Have it out with Corning and all the other glass asses. I think they supply the coffee maker mfrs, etc. Why they cannot make a spout that works pisses me off and has been a one of my pet peeves for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/7 "2008-01-15T21:17:36Z")
I’m a little coffeepot Short and stout Tip me over and pour me all over the fucking place ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/8 "2008-01-15T21:31:32Z")
Perhaps you are truing to pour too fast, or the spout isn’t clean. Either of these can cause spillage. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/9 "2008-01-15T21:54:00Z")
I have run into the problem as well. The spout lip on many things is not designed to be the nadir of the profile, when in a reasonble pouring position. So it runs down the spout, out over the lip, and surface tensions around the lip, down the bottom side of the spout, down the body, and onto the table. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/10 "2008-01-15T21:57:02Z")
I’m sure there was something in the Elders of Zion Protocols about that. In the back…with the coffee stain on it. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/11 "2008-01-15T22:39:50Z")
The perfect spout would probably be perfect only for one given pouring rate and one specific liquid. Chances are it wouldn’t be as simple as a section of a sphere, cylinder or cone, for example, so it would cost more to manufacture. Not worth the extra expense = not manufactured. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/12 "2008-01-15T23:09:05Z")
Is there nobody else who will admit to having first read the thread title as referring to spRouts? :smack: Oh, life will be so boring when I fetch new glasses next week. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/13 "2008-01-15T23:25:40Z")
[QUOTE=Celyn] Is there nobody else who will admit to having first read the thread title as referring to spRouts? :smack: Oh, life will be so boring when I fetch new glasses next week. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Nope, I did as well. I just didn’t say anything 😃 Darn Sprouts… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/14 "2008-01-15T23:31:28Z")
[QUOTE=Celyn] Is there nobody else who will admit to having first read the thread title as referring to spRouts? :smack: Oh, life will be so boring when I fetch new glasses next week. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Is there going to be anything _in_ these glasses? Felching generally involves a liquid. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/15 "2008-01-15T23:57:05Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to The BBQ Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/16 "2008-01-15T23:58:30Z")
Rats! You actually made me read again to check what I had typed. 😃 Fine, I shall acquire new spectacles, thus depriving myself of all these lovely misreadings. The _actual_ O.P. was good though - although it’s sad to know there is no real end to the trouble with teapots. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/17 "2008-01-16T00:15:40Z")
Somehow the idiots created a design that ensures that the time when I am the LEAST capable of pouring slowly and carefully, I will be confronted by a spout that is designed to wake me up NOT through the efficient delivery of caffeine but rather through dumping hot liquid on myself. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/18 "2008-01-16T00:21:35Z")
It’s possible that the material properties of the glass used in most consumer coffeepots don’t support the type of spouts you envision. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/19 "2008-01-16T00:40:06Z")
We have no problem with our Bunn. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644/20 "2008-01-16T00:42:02Z")
I recall reading in New Scientist that someone (a female engineer IIRC) designed a “perfect” spout, but some reason nobody was buying it once it went to market. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-havent-perfected-the-fucking-spout-yet-really/433644.md?page=2)