# We need a New Years host for MILES. Party like an animal. (A Monkey) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 23, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344 "2004-12-23T17:01:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/1 "2004-12-23T17:01:02Z")
Do you live in a huge city? Will you be watching fireworks? First some background. If you still have no clue who Miles is, and you still don’t know about his world tour, you can catch up by checking out these threads. > **[Foster A Teddy Bear - A Furry World Tour](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249972)** > > Some of you have been here long enough to remember EVIL BITCH. The teddy bear left after a bad break up between plt and his girlfriend. His great idea was to send this teddy bear around the world. Unfortunately, it never got off the ground. I believe... > **[Happy Birthday Miles!!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=256948)** > > I picked up Miles from the mall today. He is just the cutest little monkey!! I will be uploading more pictures later, but for now, here he is all dressed up and ready for his WORLD TOUR!! BTW, it’s not too late too sign up if you’d like to spend a... > **[Miles the Monkey's World Tour](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=263770)** > > For those of you who weren’t aware, Bear Nenno (Napples, to the folks at home) started a Bear World Tour. Turned out, however, the Bear is a Monkey. All the same, he’s touring the world, and he stopped by my place a few weeks back. BTW, the... > **[Mile's Adventures in Iowa](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=267519)** > > Miles arrived in Iowa last Monday, July 13th. We didn’t do a lot this past week, just normal everyday stuff. My kids enjoyed having Miles here. My son was gone most of the week we had him so the girls got to spend more time with him. On... > **[Miles the Monkey World Tour NYC](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=268338)** > > Well I got the little guy on Friday and had him spend the weekend with me. However there were several things going against us. First off the weather in NYC was rainy on Friday and all day Saturday. The forecast for Sunday was the same but we did... > **[Miles the Monkey: Resurrection](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=287491)** > > Yeah, he just got here yesterday, top hat and all, in a GIGANTIC box. He’ll be hanging out for about a week, and among other matters, attending the Wedding of Evil ™. Right now he’s chilling with Charity Bear, Toucan, Homer, Edward, Fiddle Ed, and... Well, right now he having a wonderful time in Topeka with **Baker**. He’s had a great time, and will spend a nice family Christmas with her family. We would like him to make it to a different Doper for New Years. That way he gets to spend two major holidays with different Dopers and no one has to feel like she hogged him. Can you hog a monkey? Anyway, scroll near the end of the last thread (above) to understand the situation. **Would you like to be the New Year’s Host for Miles??** Here’s what we would like: -A Doper in a Large city -Who is going downtown to watch the fireworks and do some partying -Who would take great care of Miles and take lots of pictures and have fun -Who is willing to pay the cost of UPS 2 Day Air Shipping to get him Here’s what we will settle for: -A Doper -Who will at least light a sparkler -Who won’t lose Miles or puke on him after drinking all night -Who would pay 1/3 the cost of UPS 2 Day Air Shipping to get him He’s getting mailed out on the 27th. So we need to coordinate all the details before that time. Otherwise, he’ll just stay in Kansas somewhere. If you are interested, let us know. Ask questions, discuss. (bump) Well that’s it!!! Would you like to be a part of the soon-to-be Super Famous _Miles World Tour_??? Here’s your chance to get him NOW. Instant Gratification-- USA style! You don’t have to have you name put on some _list_… you can get him NOW. And then down on your peers and scream “Suck on That!” Also, if you’re already on the Miles Mailing List, (that includes you, **harmless** , you are still eligible to take advantage of the Holiday Bump and get him NOW!! Non-US Dopers are eligible if 2 Day Garunteed Air Shipping is available from us to you. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/2 "2004-12-23T22:23:28Z")
**Bear** , if nobody can take him, I’ll be sending him to **harmless** in Florida. I’ll pony up the shipping, Miles has been having a good time. He went to work with me today, although he grumbled about getting up early. (I had to be there at 5:00AM) He had a banana and an espresso for breakfast, and got his picture taken with three pretty girls(coworkers). The ugly one in the hairnet, (next picture), is me. We also visited the Kansas Museum of History, and Miles now sports two new pins on his vest. One’s the seal of the state of Kansas, and the other is a meadowlark, the state bird. Miles also picked up four postcards. He already had an example of Sunday school crafts, and will have a Santa hat, and a neckscarf, when he leaves. Tomorrow night he will help the family open presents at my parent’s home, and on Christmas Day he’ll have dinner with us all. On the 26th I may, or may not, get him into the kid’s program at church, but he will be watching. Sunday evening I will box him up and send him on Monday. So is UPS the best option for sending him? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/3 "2004-12-24T02:00:09Z")
Well, we’re not going to a large city with fireworks, but we’d be happy to take Miles on our annual New Year’s trip to the Poconos. Quite a large bash, but we have handlers available to make sure he doesn’t get too rambunctious and wind up lost in the mountains or arrested. Sparklers available. Lotsa photos assured, and a good time to be had by all. Lemme know (unless **harmless** takes dibs, of course). ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/4 "2004-12-24T02:36:36Z")
“Harvey” says he wants to go too! Just post directions so he can get there. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/5 "2004-12-24T03:29:53Z")
**Hal** , between Florida and the Poconos I figure there’s not much difference in distance. So since **harmless** is supposed to get him next, unless a Kansas or Missouri Doper opts in, I figure Miles is headed to fun in the sun down south. All we want is for Miles to have a safe and Happy New Year! And it’s too bad I can’t send along a bottle of champagnem, New Year’s Eve is my birthday. Although this year I’d rather forget, I’m turning fifty. ☹ Miles tells me he is looking forward to cookies and candy tomorrow night, when the presents are opened. I just hope he doesn’t “go ape” when he realizes they are all for us humans. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/6 "2004-12-24T03:36:08Z")
If he wants to catch Dramarama and the Smithereens with me, he can do that. I’ll go halfs on the shipping. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/7 "2004-12-24T03:53:35Z")
Gaaa! Hell with Miles, take me! 🙂 .I’ve been itching to see Dramarama ever since their “final” show at the Stone Pony several years ago… Of course, the wife might not take kindly to me blowing off the family trip to go to the city… ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/8 "2004-12-24T03:54:06Z")
**Baker** , that’s awesome that you’re willing to pay for the shipping. I’m not sure if UPS is the best option. Maybe Amex. But I wouldn’t trust USPS with a two day package during the holidays. If you don’t mind doing that, Florida wouldn’t be a bad place for him to be at all. So unless there’s a Doper with some extravagant plans for New Years, that’s probably going to be our best option. Thank you for taking such good care of him! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-a-new-years-host-for-miles-party-like-an-animal-a-monkey/281344/9 "2004-12-24T06:55:11Z")
Hal, they’re playing the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville. I’m not sure where in NJ you are, but it might not be that bad a trek for you. Of course, the fam might have issues nevertheless…