What he eats changes from time to time. And he’s extremely picky. And his mother doesn’t trust me to have food he’ll eat, and really will micro manage the whole menu, not just ask me to provide brand x chicken nuggets. And it’s actually quite stressful for both of us when I try. Thus, I’ve stopped trying, and we just go to the restaurant she does trust.
Basically, doing anything at all outside of the standard schedule is stressful when dealing with profound autism, and they didn’t come over often enough when he was little for our house to be part of his norm. He does adore my son, and the two play together well outside the restaurant. It’s a shame they can’t just come here, but she won’t do it. I can only have her to dinner at home when she hires a sitter.
That sounds like a pain in the neck indeed. My bad for not catching on. Good job on both of you for making the effort, though. It’s hard to do when kid/family/etc. stuff is ongoing.
He’s not a “picky eater”. He has a disability that causes him to have issues with food. There’s a difference in this case. You seem like you’re taking it personally. It’s not like there’s anything she can do about it – you yourself said he was pretty low on the spectrum.
For the couple years I was in a workgroup with this issue we quickly settled on the main group going wherever it wanted every day and Mr. Friesfries McNuggets came along on the exceedingly rare occasions we went someplace compatible with his needs.
I now choose to eat a very low-white-carb low-grease diet. Which pretty well eliminates pizza joints & cheap-ass Chinese. Though not all Italian nor all Chinese. So if a group wants what I call “the bad stuff”, I say “so long, have fun”.
Win win.
Grown-up. It’s not that hard to at least *pretend *to be one. It’s what I do.
My Wife likes sushi. Or likes it enough. If I join her and her girlfriends for the evening, and they want to go to a sushi place, I know I can get something that doesn’t have fish in it (I can’t eat fish). Who are these people that are demanding to go to a fern bar, and why are folks still asking them to dinner???
I sometimes wonder if the real issue here and in similar threads is that folks in their early 20s are much more groupish than we are now or were ourselves when we were 20. So the idea of ignoring the oddball, or of gladly being left out, is unthinkable to them. Or something like that.
I also suspect that [del]grown-ups[/del] adult-aged people with truly toddler-level dining habits are more common now than they were in the old days. Not that it never used to happen, but that now it’s enough more common that lots of ordinary people encounter the problem eaters.
I’m gonna stand on my lawn with my rose colored time travel googles and pull up some faux data.
As far as I could tell back in my day that picky kid stuff didn’t fly. As a rule, you ate what your parents gave you. In my circle of snot nosed associates, the concept of separate meals prepared for little Jonny or little Jane dictating what the menu for the night would be was unheard of. My impression is these days not so much.
Assuming this has been a general trend and my data remotely resembles reality, it certainly does not seem a stretch to hypothesize that kids have gotten pickier (or more successful in getting away with it) and these picky eaters have morphed into pickier adult eaters on average.
It depends upon how old you are. When I was a kid (1970’s) eating out was still pretty unusual, and the vast majority of restaurants had average American food. Even the “ethnic” (Hey, that’s what folks called it back then) restaurants almost always had chicken and steak as an option.
In fact, I would say that most of the adult males I knew were very proudly “steak and potatoes” men. It was considered macho to refuse “un-American” foods. There was a whole cultural divide around who could or couldn’t eat quiche. People who ate tabbouleh were considered flaky, and suspected of marijuana use. :smack:
How is this even an issue? There is ALWAYS some simple food at any reasonably good restaurant. I can’t eat fish but if sushi is the vote, I’ll do fine. I take my Mom to the best seafood restaurant in town for her birthday. I do fine.
Again WTF? Leave them behind once in a while. Let them choose ‘Steak and Rib’ once in a while.
This isn’t a food problem as much as a control problem. F’em. They’ll get over it or not come to diner. Every one is happy.
I’m kind of amused at the course of this thread. The OP just wanted a name for people with very specific food limitations and people imidiately took offense to him asking for such a term. On the other hand it’s perfectly acceptable to exclude them from a group gathering via choosing a restaurant thier needs could not be met at.
Labeling someone is wrong, excluding them is OK…
I’ve dealt with a fair share of people who are pretty much limited to eating off the kids menu. I wouldn’t mind having a term for this behavior. Much like we call people who don’t eat meat vegetarians. Putting a label on them doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with the behavior, people can eat whatever they want.
I had a dinner with an individual who would not eat anything off the menu at Morton’s Steak house. The solution was to pick up McDonald’s and had Morton’s plate it and serve it to him. If it wasn’t a party of ten people I doubt they’d have been accommodating.
Though I can’t manage to count the number of times I have had BRAT as a meal when I am stuck in a bland phase. Not the greatest, but if it is what I can eat without vomiting, thems the breaks. But I wouldn’t force anybody to change a menu, I would apologize and not go visit.
Probably cause they can’t even boil water. They can suspect MJ use on me any day.
F’em. I’m about as big as they get male wise. Got the plow truck with winch, the Kubota tractor when that doesn’t do it. We won’t talk about the rifles and handguns I have. Guys that can’t eat certain foods because they don’t look ‘macho’ is so silly.
quiche is egg in a pie crust. It’s breakfast.
I’m also the cook.
Two weekends ago I made a very subtle egg foo yung. Very nice. It was nearly perfect. Got to work on it. (used sunflower sprouts instead of bean sprouts. Nice nutty flavor)
Last weekend was pirogues (sublime), sautéed onion(sweet), hot sausage(zingo), sauerkraut(sour) with sour cream(cool) and mustard.
Now, I guess I’m considered a ‘picky eater’ because I can’t eat seafood, but dam if I don’t make a hell of a good meal.
Who are these people that insist on picking a restaurant where they can get chicken fingers and fries? Where? I have never run into someone like that. Never.
I’m an omnivore. Tried and true. My two very best friends are vegetarians. Or close. One eats fish.
We have NEVER had a problem finding a restaurant that suits us both.
Who are these folks that insists to force their limited choices on others, and why in the hell are you going to dinner with them ?? Especially when we are talking about a group. WTF? You chose to dine with a control freak?
Depends one what type of people you associate with I guess. I run into it a lot amongst people in the gaming industry. Programers and players, in general geeks. There is certainly a higher percentage of autism in such circles aspergers is not all that rare. I’d guess a lot of the food limitations are related to this.
In my course of work in the trades I can’t think of anyone with such limitations. I think their heads might explode given the food choices on job-sites. Someone offers to grab lunch they aren’t going to take time to write a detailed list nor do they know exactly where they will find food, so you get whatever they get you, guys that complain had best pack their own lunch or they’ll be rather unpopular.
Well, some kids were allowed to get away with NOT eating part of what was set out for them. But yeah, no one ever went out of their way to cook something special just for them- well except for a birthday or something.
You asked, so I will answer. I have a good friend I have known for decades. We went to high school together. I live in he city now, he lives in a small town. Fairly often, he and a couple of other old buddies will come to the city to visit. Other friends who live in the city may join us. And our restaurant choices are always limited by this one friend’s very juvenile tastes.
Now, this is a good friend, witty and entertaining, and we all enjoy his company, and we can put up with eating hamburgers and fries (or some similarly lame fare) for the sake of getting together. It is still a pain in the ass, but we are not going to cut this friend out of the social circle over food.