# We need new euphimisms for 'penis' **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773 "2003-10-11T01:04:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/1 "2003-10-11T01:04:01Z")
Subject pretty much says it all. You guys (and gals) know what to do… ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/2 "2003-10-11T01:16:36Z")
there’s already millions of 'em… euphimisms, that is… just read “Penthouse Letters ™”… not that I would know… ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/3 "2003-10-11T01:17:56Z")
besides, my “MIghty Python of Love” needs no fance name! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/4 "2003-10-11T01:19:00Z")
The Larch. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/5 "2003-10-11T01:19:03Z")
we sooo don’t ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/6 "2003-10-11T01:21:10Z")
The One-eyed snake The hot beef injection The trouser snake Pocket Rocket MetalMaven ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/7 "2003-10-11T01:21:46Z")
Jacobson and John-Thomas are my choice euphs. That’s pronounced “yoofs.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/8 "2003-10-11T01:22:50Z")
Corn-on-the-cob ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/9 "2003-10-11T01:23:32Z")
People, please. We need _new_ ones. Snazzy ones. _ **Cool** _ ones. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/10 "2003-10-11T01:27:03Z")
Hallo! My name… is Inigo Montoya ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/11 "2003-10-11T01:28:16Z")
Dave Barry has pointed out that the names of former US Presidents can be used for this purpose: Benjamin Harrison Herbert Hoover John Adams Franklin Pierce Rutherford B. Hayes ---
**Author:** ![Bugnorton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bugnorton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bugnorton)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/12 "2003-10-11T01:30:08Z")
_ **We need new euphimisms for 'penis’** _ cite ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/13 "2003-10-11T03:11:56Z")
limp biscuit ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/14 "2003-10-11T03:14:16Z")
Weapon of Mass Destruction. More or less any weapon. Aside from ‘dirk’ or ‘derringer’. More like ‘lucrene hammer’ and ‘2-handed great sword’. 1-eyed trouser boa. Trouser tuba. (No, I don’t have anything to prove.) ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/15 "2003-10-11T03:17:55Z")
Rocket Crowbar. I can’t be the only one who has nearly every HL mod known to man… can I? ---
**Author:** ![PucksRaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecd19e/32.png) [@PucksRaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PucksRaven)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/16 "2003-10-11T03:54:02Z")
I have a male friend who fancies the term “meatpipe” ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/17 "2003-10-11T04:20:08Z")
MANROOT!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/18 "2003-10-11T04:44:00Z")
my brains. meat roll snapping turtle (tell me if that won’t get your girls attention) Hammerhead The little Moses (think about it) And I’m deeply ashamed for thinking these things when reading this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/19 "2003-10-11T04:53:51Z")
Throatwoarbler-mangrove. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773/20 "2003-10-11T05:34:12Z")
Baby Injector Or if you practice safe sex The man in the rubber hat. Freedom Fry Eddy (heck just as random as willy) Mr. Twitchy Lazuras I could go on…but I won’t. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-euphimisms-for-penis/206773.md?page=2)