# We Need New Pizza Rules **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 18, 2012, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124 "2012-03-18T08:05:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/41 "2012-03-19T08:37:06Z")
The pineapple thing LOOKED really pretty, but I’d use it as a centerpiece rather than as food. Seriously, how are you supposed to serve that sucker? Take the pineapple off, cut the pie into slices, and then cut the pineapple into chunks and scatter them on the pie slices? ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/42 "2012-03-19T08:59:49Z")
We need rules for sushi too, not any random thing you wrap up in nori should be called sushi. I have seen cooked broccoli, cream cheese, chunks of fried white fish, you name it at various cheapo Chinese buffets(yea I know it makes no sense). Sometimes it isn’t even the proper rice with vinegar just cooked white rice blech! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/43 "2012-03-19T09:14:47Z")
> [@Peanuthead](#): > > I’d like to propose another rule. **It must be cut like a pie**. 6 or 8 equal size triangular slices that you can pick up, fold in half and eat. Not the ridiculous little squares that are ubiquitous in Chicago. > And as far as that concoction that Chicagoans call “deep dish pizza”, a New Yorker said it best: “That ain’t pizza. That’s a casserole”. [Al taglio](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_taglio)is a perfectly legitimate way to serve pizza. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/44 "2012-03-19T10:39:14Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Sorry, I’m not giving up my eggplant/spinach/mozzarella pizza, which may or may not contain tomato sauce. And when it does not, it’s white pizza. Like sex other than PiV, pizza with adjectives is still pizza, but the adjectives can be important (says the woman who knows several people with tomato allergies). I’m all behind the “it should be edible with your hands” rule. No problem with pits in olives or with the tailend having been left on shrimp à la shrimp cocktail, but if you need a carving knife it’s “something vaguely resembling pizza”. As for “pizza too crispy to fold”, the pieces shouldn’t be wider than the eater’s mouth. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/45 "2012-03-19T11:16:12Z")
[QUOTE=Krokodil] shrimp must be minus the heads, tails and shells. [/QUOTE] Am I the only one who doesn’t mind tails intact? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/46 "2012-03-19T11:18:37Z")
Post right above yours 😛 ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/47 "2012-03-19T11:26:47Z")
SO what about this then: [![](https://www.hausfrauenseite.de/wales31.jpg) ](https://www.hausfrauenseite.de/wales31.jpg) I remember having it and thinking it was delicious. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/48 "2012-03-19T13:00:53Z")
I love pineapple on a pizza. I also prefer the thinnest, crispiest crust possible (Hello, [Marion’s Piazza](http://www.marionspiazza.com/) and [Cassano’s Pizza King](http://www.cassanos.com/) and [Jerry’s](http://www.yelp.com/biz/jerrys-pizza-chillicothe)!) > [@Krokodil](#): > > All ingredients of the pizza must be edible. Olives must be pitted, shrimp must be minus the heads, tails and shells. Fruit, if it must be on there, should be without skin, rind or seeds if these are deemed inedible. I agree with the rule that everything must be edible. But shrimp heads and tails _are_ edible. > [@Peanuthead](#): > > I’d like to propose another rule. **It must be cut like a pie**. 6 or 8 equal size triangular slices that you can pick up, fold in half and eat. Not the ridiculous little squares that are ubiquitous in Chicago. I also prefer my pizza to be cut into easy-to-handle squares. I always order it that way in restaurants and for delivery. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/49 "2012-03-19T13:37:15Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > SO what about this then: > > [http://www.hausfrauenseite.de/wales31.jpg](http://www.hausfrauenseite.de/wales31.jpg) > > I remember having it and thinking it was delicious. The baked bean pizza (a deep pan with cheese, tomato, sausage, ham and beans - the beans are mixed in with the tomato sauce) from the place near me is bloody awesome. Mind, I was raised on council teas, where pizza would be served with beans and chips. [Like this.](http://i616.photobucket.com/albums/tt244/dopedemand84/IMG_3476.jpg) Even now, any leftover deep pan type pizza still risks being eaten for breakfast with half a tin of beans on the plate an’ all. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/50 "2012-03-19T13:42:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Am I the only one who doesn’t mind tails intact? > [@Nava](#): > > Post right above yours 😛 You eat the tails? ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/51 "2012-03-19T13:49:14Z")
It’s ok to use a knife-and-fork – Chicago deep dish is impossible any other way, unless it’s cold (which is a fine way to eat it!). Pineapple has achieved mainstream acceptance. Other non-traditional ingredients (such as other fruits) are acceptable, but are to be viewed with suspicion. All ingredients must be edible. Sweetness is discouraged. Cheese and crust are mandatory. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/52 "2012-03-19T16:16:15Z")
Deep fried [pizza](http://pugwash.cat5.org/articles/pizza/deep-fried-pizza-480-3.jpg)anyone? ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/53 "2012-03-19T16:23:42Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > In defense of the Tropical Pie, the Las Vegas competition had two separate categories. One was “traditional pizza” which set limits on the ingredients. The other category (which the Tropical Pie won) was “gourmet pizza” which explicitly stated there were no rules on what could be used as ingredients. > > As somebody who’s eaten a pizza with M&M’s on it, I say there’s room for all kinds. Agreed… the article explicitly states: > [@](#): > > The competition in Vegas was steep-particularly in the “gourmet” category, where the Tropical Pie was entered. Unlike the “traditional” competition where standard two topping pies are tossed around, “gourmet” competitors go rogue. The only rule is that there are no rules. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/54 "2012-03-19T16:25:07Z")
One thing which I thought I hated was a “dessert pizza,” until one of my favorite pizzerias gave me a bit of their pizza crust slathered with Nutella. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/55 "2012-03-19T16:48:54Z")
I’d like to address an abomination which has been taking over our local pizzarias: Pasta on the pizza. Pizza and pasta are seperate dishes. Both equally lovely in their own right, and often with the same flavorful add-on ingregients. Pasta ON pizza is an abomination which should not be suffered to exist. And it’s not pizza. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/56 "2012-03-19T22:29:05Z")
Pizza fascism is on the rise, it seems. Glad to see so many working to oppose it. Gimmee a slice of pineapple and lamb vindaloo pizza with paneer and red curry! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/57 "2012-03-19T23:06:04Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > So to a lot of you, “real” Italian pizza (often no tomato sauce, often too crispy to fold and thus must be eaten with utensils, often not circular and thus cannot be cut like a pie) is not pizza. In my experience, it’s not that Neapolitan pizza is “too crispy” to be folded and must be eaten with utensils. It tends to be a bit delicate and almost soupy towards the center, so it requires utensils to eat, as picking up what would be a “pie slice” would cause the centered third or so of the pie to flop over. Cheese is certainly not required on a pizza (see the traditional style known as pizza marinara.) Tomato sauce is not required, either: see pizza bianca, which has no tomato sauce OR cheese (not to mention the white pizzas of New Haven, the potato-and-rosemary pizzas, etc.) The cut doesn’t matter for anything. Cut in wedges, squares, or down the middle and then again perpendicularly several times in to strips, or uncut, who the hell cares? When it comes to pizza, I’m for all the variety in styles. My preferred style is Neapolitan, but damn if I don’t enjoy Chicago-style thin crust with the party cut, or a Detroit style thick square pizza, or the malty crust and long thin strips of a Quad Cities pizza every once in awhile. And, yes, California styles, New York, New Haven, I try not to include St. Louis on this with their Provel cheese, but, hell, I’ll give 'em some love, too. I don’t believe in the saying that “pizza is like sex, even bad pizza is still pretty good.” There’s a lot of crap pizza out there. But, within each style, I’ve been able to find versions I’ve found awesome. It’s great there’s so much variety. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/58 "2012-03-20T19:47:21Z")
I am a “no pineapple on pizza” person. I’ve also discovered through my many years in life that people who scream and holler and pout and carry on to have pineapple added to the pizza are the ones who snarf up all the OTHER pizzas in the order, and the only pizza left over is…you got it, the pineapple crap. One local station on TV is advertising for a pizza place featuring a “cheeseburger pizza.” It was like trying to NOT look at a train wreck when you drive by: I saw the picture. Dear God, it had sliced dill pickles and yellow mustard drizzled on top in a grid pattern. I need to gouge out my eyeballs. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/59 "2012-03-20T20:07:17Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > One local station on TV is advertising for a pizza place featuring a “cheeseburger pizza.” It was like trying to NOT look at a train wreck when you drive by: I saw the picture. > > Dear God, it had sliced dill pickles and yellow mustard drizzled on top in a grid pattern. > > I need to gouge out my eyeballs. > ~VOW I’ve had something similar to that, without the mustard, though. It was surprisingly good. Also, in the Quad Cities, you will find pizza with sauerkraut on it, as well as [“taco pizza,”](http://heavytable.com/the-taco-pizza-at-happy-joes/) made topped with tortilla chips, lettuce, raw tomatoes, etc., and to be topped by the diner with taco sauce. It’s…odd…but I have a soft spot for it, too. I won’t say it’s one of my favorite pizzas, but I have a respect for the style. As for pineapple, the only Domino’s pizza I could stomach was pineapple and ham. Not sure what it was about that combo, but it made a Domino’s pizza edible. ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124/60 "2012-03-20T20:28:34Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > [Al taglio](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_taglio)is a perfectly legitimate way to serve pizza. In Queens, we call that a [Sicilian](http://ktebcdog.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/sicillian.jpg). Best pizza in the world. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-new-pizza-rules/616124.md?page=4)