# We need to relocate Washington DC. Where? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 12, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579 "2012-04-12T16:59:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/1 "2012-04-12T16:59:32Z")
It’s December of 2012. The Second Korean War has just ended. The North Korean government collapsed after Pyongyang got nuked, but it turns out that North Korea had a couple of ballistic missle subs that we didn’t know about. In a related note, Washington DC is now an irradiated wasteland, off-limits to human habitation for at least the next couple of decades. The president (I’ll take a pass on whether this is Obama, Romney, or whoever) has asked you to make a recommendation on where the new capitol should be placed. What do you tell him? ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/2 "2012-04-12T17:04:50Z")
Omaha. It’s where we send the POTUS in case of an attack anyway, so it must be pretty safe. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/3 "2012-04-12T17:14:20Z")
At the very least you want to stay away from the Forbidden Zone, there’s Fleshy-headed myootants there and radiation has made them an enemy of civilization! Find another place to build a capital for your children. Maybe Saskatoon, because who’d look there? ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/4 "2012-04-12T17:17:10Z")
New York City, as God intended. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/5 "2012-04-12T17:21:16Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > The president (I’ll take a pass on whether this is Obama, Romney, or whoever) Nitpick: in December of 2012, Obama will be president regardless of the election’s outcome. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/6 "2012-04-12T17:22:13Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Washington DC is now an irradiated wasteland, off-limits to human habitation for at least the next couple of decades… And this is\* different \*how? Oh, the radiation. Vegas, Baby! Its already sufficiently sleazy. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/7 "2012-04-12T17:24:18Z")
> [@E.Thorp](#): > > Nitpick: in December of 2012, Obama will be president regardless of the election’s outcome. Well, technically, it could possibly be Biden–or even Boehner! ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/8 "2012-04-12T17:24:42Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > Omaha. It’s where we send the POTUS in case of an attack anyway, so it must be pretty safe. Are you thinking of Operation Looking Glass? Personally, I think we should also be looking towards the center of the country. Having the capital so close to the coast seems foolhardy. I’d think Denver would be a great choice, and plus, we can send all the [conspiracy theorists](http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4194) even more bonkers. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/9 "2012-04-12T17:26:04Z")
How about Iowa? They could use the tourists. Cause nobody goes to Iowa on purpose now, do they? ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/10 "2012-04-12T17:28:56Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Are you thinking of Operation Looking Glass? Nope. > **[Timeline for the day of the September 11 attacks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks)** > > The September 11 attacks of 2001, in addition to being a unique act of terrorism, constituted a media event on a scale not seen since the advent of civilian global satellite links. Instant worldwide reaction and debate were made possible by round-the-clock television news organizations and by the internet. As a result, most of the events were known by a large portion of the world's population as they occurred. > The attacks themselves lasted less than two hours; the first hijacking commenced at... 2:50 pm, Bush arrives at Offutt AFB. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/11 "2012-04-12T17:52:49Z")
What do I tell him? A good start Sir. Now we have cleared all the old politicians out we can elect new ones. [one of the main problems with Washington is all the old blood taking up seats and not being willing to understand that just because they keep getting re-elected does not mean they understand what a majority of the population actually wants. Many people have given up voting because they see absolutely no change no matter who and how they vote.] I say Omaha, or wherever that hardened governmental bunker happens to be. I also vote to make them live down in the bunker in an assigned apartment with their families, and there to be a school for the dependents, medical clinics and everything needed. They can all eat in the Governmental Chow Hall, shop in the Governmental Exchange Store, no added expense of needing to set up a home back in their constituancy, a home in DC, an office in DC - they get a housing unit that serves as house and office, and they take the underground tramway to work, no need for an expensive car. And if they get seriously stupid, we flood the base with nitrogen after sneaking out the non-poilticians, wait until they stop squirming, send in the SKs and start all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/12 "2012-04-12T18:11:15Z")
I nominate Memphis. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/13 "2012-04-12T18:14:37Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > New York City, as God intended. _Noooo!_ We have enough \*tsouris \*here with the damn UN! ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/14 "2012-04-12T18:23:53Z")
The bottom of the Marianas Trench. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/15 "2012-04-12T18:25:46Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > The bottom of the Marianas Trench. This has my vote. NOT Vegas, because I like Vegas ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/16 "2012-04-12T18:44:09Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > Nope. > > [Timeline for the day of the September 11 attacks - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks) > > 2:50 pm, Bush arrives at Offutt AFB. > **[Operation Looking Glass](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Looking_Glass)** > > Looking Glass (or Operation Looking Glass) is the historic code name for an airborne command and control center operated by the United States. In more recent years it has been more officially referred to as the ABNCP (Airborne National Command Post). It provides command and control of U.S. nuclear forces in the event that ground-based command centers have been destroyed or otherwise rendered inoperable. In such an event, the general officer aboard the Looking Glass serves as the Airborne Emerg Th... > [@](#): > > The Looking Glass was initiated by the U.S. Air Force’s Strategic Air Command in 1961 and operated by the 34th Air Refueling Squadron, **Offutt AFB, Nebraska**. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/17 "2012-04-12T19:28:02Z")
Canada, the Marianas Trench, or a quarry…better yet. The Executive branch goes to Fort Smith in the NWT, the judicial branch gets sent to The Trench, and the legislative branch gets the quarry…could care less which quarry. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/18 "2012-04-12T20:24:53Z")
Canada? We don’t want your politicians! Even your lefties are righties! I pick Chattanooga Tennessee because it amuses me to think the federal capital could be in a place that a significant percentage of Americans might not be able to spell (this “fact” is based on no information whatsoever and is merely a friendly joke and amusement at the funny spelling of Chattanooga Tennessee) ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/19 "2012-04-13T00:37:41Z")
I say we move it to Washington State, just to end the confusion for school children. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579/20 "2012-04-13T00:40:58Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > I pick Chattanooga Tennessee because it amuses me to think the federal capital could be in a place that a significant percentage of Americans might not be able to spell (this “fact” is based on no information whatsoever and is merely a friendly joke and amusement at the funny spelling of Chattanooga Tennessee) We have better infrastructure in Cincinnati and can’t spell that either. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-need-to-relocate-washington-dc-where/618579.md?page=2)