# We needs some flunkies! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490 "2001-04-27T02:57:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/1 "2001-04-27T02:57:46Z")
Problem: My business partner and I are tired of doing all the work. We want to hire some people to do the work for us while we sit back, drink scotch and smoke cigars! And some cute secretaries to wear short skirts and look good! Solution: Hire some! Problem: No money!☹ Damn! So: we need some **volunteer** flunkies, yes-men, brown-nosers, and floozies… Anyone interested? ---
**Author:** ![callie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@callie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/callie)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/2 "2001-04-27T03:42:26Z")
Sorry - I have too much respect for Astrogirl to be your goodlookin’ miniskirt wearing secretary… 😃 [hijack]Hey - whats been going on with the family finding out thing anyway? Or did I miss a post/thread somewhere?[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/3 "2001-04-27T03:59:35Z")
Hey, can I be the Big Lummox[sup]tm[/sup]? I love being the Big Lummox[sup]tm[/sup] of a group. I can move heavy stuff and be a bodyguard, and when I’m not doing that I can stand around and look menacing. [sub]So WHAT if I’m thin.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/4 "2001-04-27T04:06:01Z")
I’d apply, but the commute’s a killer… 😃 jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/5 "2001-04-27T04:11:29Z")
**Mnementh** , you’re hired! We definitely need some muscle! We’ll provide your choice of either a baseball bat, a heavy chain, or a tire iron… [quote] [hijack]Hey - whats been going on with the family finding out thing anyway? Or did I miss a post/thread somewhere?[/hijack] **Astrogirl** got back from Guam, and all seemed normal for a few days… so I thought we were off the hook. However, **Astrogirl** is off to Saipan tomorrow for a few more days in the sun, and when her mom found out about that yesterday they had a big fight (mom finds it unseemly to take 2 vacations in such a short time, apparently… doesn’t matter to her that **Astrogirl** has been working for 3 years straight without really taking any time off…), and the accusation of having a foreign boyfriend came up again! So… the sh\*t _still_ may be about to hit the fan! I’ll let you know if anything happens on that front. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/6 "2001-04-27T04:23:15Z")
Can I be the sleazy co-worker with the thin mustache who’s always making obvious double entendres to the short-skirted secretaries and does just enough work to keep his job? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/7 "2001-04-27T04:34:07Z")
Can I be another one of them muscle dudes who’s just working to support his craps habit? Or I could be one of them people who’s just happy to have a job he likes and doesn’t care about the pay. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/8 "2001-04-27T04:34:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Can I be the sleazy co-worker with the thin mustache who’s always making obvious double entendres to the short-skirted secretaries and does just enough work to keep his job? Sorry, **Crunchy** , that position’s already taken (by my partner!!😃 )… no wait, on second thought: you can never have too much sleaziness or double-entendres! You’re hired! **jayjay** , it IS a long commute, but you can take either the bus or the subway… ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/9 "2001-04-27T05:03:06Z")
I’m INTERESTED!! So where do we find these flunkies?!?! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/10 "2001-04-27T05:04:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\ ***Mnementh** , you’re hired! We definitely need some muscle! We’ll provide your choice of either a baseball bat, a heavy chain, or a tire iron… > \*\* Well, I’ve already got a broadsword I can carry. But I think I’ll take the heavy chain to complement it. 😃 This might just be the best job I ever had. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/11 "2001-04-27T06:05:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Can I be another one of them muscle dudes who’s just working to support his craps habit? > > Or I could be one of them people who’s just happy to have a job he likes and doesn’t care about the pay. **iampunha** , you’re hired, too! You and **Mnementh** are the muscle… one of your will have to stay silent all the time, and the other one will be the guys who says [30’s gangster voice]Whaddever you say, boss![/30’s gangster voice]. You guys can decide who’s who. Now, we still need some brown-nosers, toadies, and be-skirted cuties… **Whammo** , stick around, and we’ll get some flunkies for you, too! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/12 "2001-04-27T06:09:44Z")
I could be the sarcastic old biddy who never does any work, makes **you** go to the convenience store across the street\* for my liquor, and who doesn’t look good in the mini-skirt, so obviously I _know_ something that I’m just to close to telling to someone you don’t want to know. And I get a raise whenever I want one. - It’s got to be across the street, or else it wouldn’t be convenient. ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/13 "2001-04-27T06:17:58Z")
I wanna be the young new guy in the office. You know the wise ass (attractive) hotshot that does all the work and gets none of the credit. ---
**Author:** ![StephenG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/14 "2001-04-27T06:21:59Z")
Well, Upham says I’m cute, and I always look good, so I’ll try the miniskirt-bit. Don’t blame me if it doesn’t work out… ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/15 "2001-04-27T06:29:04Z")
OK, **Kallessa** , you’re in! You get to man (woman?) the phones (and ignore them all you want). We need you to answer once in while and say, “Yeah? Whaddaya want?” And the store is next door, by the way! What can I get ya? **The Mighty Tiki God**! OMG! > [@](#): > > You know the wise ass (attractive) hotshot that does all the work and gets none of the credit. YOU’RE HIRED! Now, get to work or I’ll ask **Mnementh** and **iampunha** to “have a word” with you!😃 > [@](#): > > I’ll try the miniskirt-bit. Don’t blame me if it doesn’t work out… It’ll be kinda weird having someone named “Steve” wearing an miniskirt… but I’m open-minded. If you look good, trust me, it’ll work out! **StephenG** , you’re hired! [sup]get to work, **Tiki**![/sup] [Edited by Eutychus55 on 04-27-2001 at 04:46 AM] ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/16 "2001-04-27T06:30:37Z")
Well, I screwed THAT one up!:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/17 "2001-04-27T06:41:34Z")
psst… hey Astroboy? I don’t think Mnementh would want to have a “word” with me (hint I did mean new guy when I said it) Now punha on the other hand I don’t know… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/18 "2001-04-27T07:07:12Z")
Back to work, **Tiki**!!:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/19 "2001-04-27T07:15:06Z")
Damn! I wanna be Kallessa! ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/20 "2001-04-27T07:16:55Z")
**Company Meeting** Bad news, all! We may have to fire **Two-Tie Tommy** (my business partner)! Right now, I’m working (writing my ass off to get everything finished so I can go home in time to watch “Survivor”)… and **TTT** is over at the next desk having cybersex with some Korean-American chick in LA! WTF? **Mnementh** , **punha** : Get him!! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490.md?page=2)