# We needs some flunkies! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490 "2001-04-27T02:57:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/81 "2001-04-28T10:52:51Z")
**Kallessa** what will it cost to buy your silence? And, yes, of course the door has a lock… what did you have in mind?😉 ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/82 "2001-04-28T14:06:56Z")
Can I be the mail courier/baker. I can skate really fast, and I make some really good 😃 banana nut bread… its **really** special. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/83 "2001-04-28T14:20:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Can I be the mail courier/baker. I can skate really fast, and I make some really good banana nut bread… its really special. **sk8rixtx** , you’re hired!! But your duties as baker require a bit more than banana bread… if you know what I mean… We need banana bread with a little, uh, OOMPH!, if you follow me! We need bread that has a KICK, if you ken my meaning… Screw it! We need **banana-pot** bread!! _This is a no drug-testing office!_ HEY! I thought I said to hold my calls! **Kallessa** and I are busy drinking! Get back to work everyone!! **Tiki** , I been riding you hard… take ten to catch your breath! Then, **GET BACK TO WORK**! ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/84 "2001-04-28T16:42:23Z")
I’ll just be next door, taking dictation for **BossTowTies**. He’s a kinky fellow, I hear. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/85 "2001-04-28T16:44:09Z")
That would be **BossTwoTies**. :rolleyes: Scantily clad Exec. Assistants are notoriously scatter brained. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/86 "2001-04-28T19:00:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > Get back to work everyone!! **Tiki** , I been riding you hard… take ten to catch your breath! Then, **GET BACK TO WORK**! \*\* [30s voice]You want I should take care ah’him, boss?[30s voice] ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/87 "2001-04-28T21:53:58Z")
I made a contribution to **FairyChatMom** ’s fund…with Monopoly money! Ho ho, what a stitch. I kill me! Hey boss, have you seen my condom…wait, here it is…behind your ear! Whoa-ho, how’d it get back there? :: Winking obviously :: Got something going on we should know about? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/88 "2001-04-28T23:16:37Z")
People?? Listen up, people. Apart from the chili that the boss is bringing and my jello-mold-salad-delight, there’s nothing else on the pot luck sign up sheet. Let’s get in the spirit here! We need some veggies. We need fresh rolls. We need a sheet cake or two. So get into the break room and sign up, okay?? People? Are you paying attention, people?? [sub]what a bunch of poops…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/89 "2001-04-28T23:21:39Z")
Cook? _Moi_? It is to laugh. Executive Assistants do not cook. We might _gasp_ _break a nail_! I called a caterer for the event. You _really_ don’t want to inflict that chili on anything but an outdoor event. Trust me. [sub]It’s okay. I put it on the company account.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/90 "2001-04-29T00:45:58Z")
I signed up to bring the Jello, **FairyChatMom**! Heh heh…you’ll _like_ my Jello! ---
**Author:** ![Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison_s_Lament)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/91 "2001-04-29T06:39:24Z")
Operation “steal all the money from the account that’s supposed to pay these people’s damned wages” is now in motion Astro, see you in Thai… eh, that country we talked about. Oh, and I get a 50/50 split, right? I mean, I AM your closest neighbour on the boards (unless we get a rogue poster from Pyongyang) 😉 — G. Raven ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/92 "2001-04-29T06:48:35Z")
Hey boss! I’m going on break. Back in 20! ::goes to secret hiding place:: ::pops out tape from the recording equipment that tapes everything that happens in the boss’s offices since she bugged them her first day and replaces it with new one:: ::hurries off to safety deposit box at American Embassy:: ---
**Author:** ![Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison_s_Lament)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/93 "2001-04-29T14:44:41Z")
☹ _drops Chinese facemask and makes for the airport with what little money he has on him_ — G. Raven ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/94 "2001-04-29T15:30:24Z")
Aww… why you wanna run off? I’d much rather blackmail you **ML** than turn you in. 😉 [sub]psssttt… besides, then we can blackmail You-Know-Who. You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff I’ve found in his desk![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/95 "2001-04-30T03:58:24Z")
**punha** , I got another job for ya! I need to to track down the system administrator for the University LAN, and beat the crap outta him for me! I haven’t been able to get online from my room in more than a day, and it’s cheesing me off something fierce! **Morrison** , don’t worry about **Arden** … I got some dirt on her, too!😉 You wouldn’t believe what she did at last year’s Christmas party! I have some photocopies to prove it… The plan is still on! ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/96 "2001-04-30T04:02:05Z")
Aww… **AstroBoss** is soooo _cute_. The Christmas Party’s on video, you know. How else do you think I afford that expensive house and car? 😉 Remember what you did before **Astrofiancee** got here? Yeah… that’s what I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/97 "2001-04-30T04:20:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Remember what you did before Astrofiancee got here? No… things are kinda fuzzy after I drink that fifth of tequila… I remember **Fiver** brought in that leggy blonde girl, and I seem to remember that she and I were making out in the closet… **A fuzzy memory suddenly snaps into focus** :eek: SHE POPPED! OMG, I’m SOOOO embarrassed! If anyone mentions this to **Astrogirl** (not due back until Wednesday, _heavy sigh_), they will be beaten and fired! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/98 "2001-04-30T08:58:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Hey boss – I can’t seem to find a leather miniskirt in my size. Plus, I’m not used to shaving my legs, and they’re a gruesome site. Can I take the tight bluejeans option instead? > > **jr8** , you may try the tight jeans subject to the approval of myself and the other males… we’ll let you know! Oh, and could you please wear a tight top showing a lot of cleavage? We’d appreciate that.😃 \*\* I’m not sure how much the other males will want to inspect my jeans, but you’re the boss. Cleavage might be a bit difficult to manage, though…and do I have to shave off the chest hair first? ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/99 "2001-04-30T09:58:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m not sure how much the other males will want to inspect my jeans, but you’re the boss. > > Cleavage might be a bit difficult to manage, though…and do I have to shave off the chest hair first? Hey! We have an eclectic mix here; someone is _bound_ to like man-cleavage! Try it hairy first, and if you get no positive feedback, try it hairless! [sup]OK, I admit, I assumed that you were female… but still! Do the tight jeans… someone will appreciate it! Maybe women, maybe men; but you WILL have an audience![/sup] **GET BACK TO WORK!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/100 "2001-04-30T10:07:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > Hey! We have an eclectic mix here; someone is _bound_ to like man-cleavage! Try it hairy first, and if you get no positive feedback, try it hairless! Hairy man-cleavage, eh? In that case, I’ll need the afternoon off to go buy some gold chains… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490.md?page=6)