# We needs some flunkies! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490 "2001-04-27T02:57:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/101 "2001-04-30T10:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Hairy man-cleavage, eh? In that case, I’ll need the afternoon off to go buy some gold chains… WHAT?!? Nonsense! You will have a day off at Christmas… that’s not so far away! **GET BACK TO WORK** [sup]It’s fun to be the boss![/sup]😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/102 "2001-04-30T14:09:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\ ***punha** , I got another job for ya! I need to to track down the system administrator for the University LAN, and beat the crap outta him for me! I haven’t been able to get online from my room in more than a day, and it’s cheesing me off something fierce! > \*\* _Mnementh, silent as ever, locates the admin cowering in a corner indulging his secret cheetos habit, wraps his large palm around the admin’s head and lifts him, stuggling, off to **Da Boss’** office for punishment to be dictated. He idly wonders where **punha** , his buddy in destruction and the only one who knows why he won’t speak and how to understand him, has gone off to._ ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/103 "2001-05-01T01:12:45Z")
_Astroboss throws **Mnementh** a raw steak…_ Good job! Now I need you to go track down **punha** … if he’s back in that cathouse with that floozy and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s again, I’ll…:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/104 "2001-05-01T02:23:06Z")
I’m out of scotch, boss, and you know I can’t work without my scotch. Be a good boss and run across the street and get me a bottle, won’t ya? Pick up a couple of crossword puzzle books while you’re at it–I need some sort of intellectual stimulation in this place. Man-cleavage, for crying out loud. Honey, a wonder-bra and a twelve pack of Charmin Ultra wouldn’t give **you** cleavage worth a spit. But the tight jeans are nice. Lie down, I want to see how high this quarter will bounce. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/105 "2001-05-01T03:34:55Z")
You need scotch? Here, I have some scotch…scotch TAPE! Haw haw haw…whoo, I slay me! I’m such a hoot! ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/106 "2001-05-01T03:54:24Z")
**Astroboss comes back from the store** Sorry **Kallessa** … they’re out of scotch. I got ya a couple of quarts of Old English 800, though!😃 They didn’t have any crossword puzzle books, either, so I got you a copy of the National Enquirer… I think they run crossword puzzles… _Astroboss idly wonders why he is running errands for the proletariate…_ **Fiver** , get back to work, dammit! **Arden** would you come into my office, please? I need you to… um… take some dictation!😉 Back to work, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/107 "2001-05-01T08:06:52Z")
Wow – quarters! Hey, I’ve just doubled my salary! It’s hard to type in this position, though… ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/108 "2001-05-01T08:10:17Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Get back to work everyone!! **Tiki** , I been riding you hard… take ten to catch your breath! Then, **GET BACK TO WORK**! \*\* Oh huh? You said something? I was busy sleepin’ under my desk. Yeah like your gonna get me to work. Oh wait your gonna get punha after me? I… uhhh… umm… right away sir! ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/109 "2001-05-01T10:33:25Z")
Dammit, **Tiki** and **hr8**! **Get back to work!** :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/110 "2001-05-01T10:38:51Z")
um… that should be **jr8**! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/111 "2001-05-01T12:44:25Z")
Well, I can’t believe what a bunch of poops you all are! I’ve got $10 plus some toy paper money in the envelope, chili and jello on the sign-up list, and nothing but attitude all over the place. I swear, you people are NO FUN!! In my last office, we used to have covered dish lunches and happy hours and office sing-alongs… \< **FCM** wanders away grumbling, dreaming of the good ol’ days…\> ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/112 "2001-05-01T13:17:28Z")
\*\*FairyChatMom \*\*, don’t worry… they’ll come through! \*Astroboss gestures to \*\*Mnementh \*_…_ Oh, yes… they’ll come through if they knows what good for 'em. Where the hell’s **punha**? And **Arden**? I need some dictation taken right NOW! Listen up, everyone: **FCM** is holding an affair, and you WILL all _volunteer_ to help! - Gestures to **Mnementh** looming in the corner…\* Oh, yes… you WILL help! **Get back to work!!** ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/113 "2001-05-01T13:39:56Z")
::wearing a backless minidress of bright red, she lazily saunters back in with a box of doughnuts for everyone:: Here I am, **AstroBoss**. What would you like me to take? ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/114 "2001-05-02T10:56:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Here I am, AstroBoss. > > What would you like me to take? Step into my office, **Arden** , and we’ll discuss it! First I have to sweep for bugs and hidden cameras, though… ---
**Author:** ![Alonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Alonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonist)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/115 "2001-05-02T11:21:06Z")
Well, there ain’t no bugs here in the big steel filing cabinet, except that big spider in the corner- he don’t bother me, I don’t bother him. ;j But now I’m out of taco sauce. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/116 "2001-05-02T11:45:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\*\*\*FairyChatMom \*\*, don’t worry… they’ll come through! > > \*Astroboss gestures to \*\*Mnementh \*_…_ > > Oh, yes… they’ll come through if they knows what good for 'em. > > Where the hell’s **punha**? And **Arden**? I need some dictation taken right NOW! > > Listen up, everyone: **FCM** is holding an affair, and you WILL all _volunteer_ to help! > > - Gestures to **Mnementh** looming in the corner…\* > > Oh, yes… you WILL help! > > **Get back to work!!** \*\* _ **Mnementh** cracks his knuckles and grumbles in the general direction of the attitude-giving employees. He then steps a bit to one side, as one peek at the stain left by his former target should be enough persuasion…_ ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/117 "2001-05-02T12:31:03Z")
Affair?? Affair?? Well, I never!! How dare you spread rumors that I… huh?? Oh, _that_ kind of affair… …never mind… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/118 "2001-05-02T12:37:47Z")
**Hey boss!** I finished the PowerPoint presentation you requested. I managed to find clipart of a marmot, but wasn’t able to locate a felching sound effect to go with it. Can I look on your computer to see if you’ve got an appropriate .wav file? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/119 "2001-05-02T12:40:08Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Step into my office, **Arden** , and we’ll discuss it! First I have to sweep for bugs and hidden cameras, though… \*\* Oh, here. Let me do that for you, sir. That is one of the duties of a Scantily Clad Executive Assistant. No, really. I swear. You can call the Union office. It’s supposed to give you the chance to see up my too short skirt and afford you a stunning view of my lush cleavage. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490/120 "2001-05-02T12:54:35Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s supposed to give you the chance to see up my too short skirt and afford you a stunning view of my lush cleavage. **Arden** , you just won “Employee of the Month”!! Congrats! > [@](#): > > I finished the PowerPoint presentation you requested. I managed to find clipart of a marmot, but wasn’t able to locate a felching sound effect to go with it. Can I look on your computer to see if you’ve got an appropriate .wav file? _ **SLLLUUUURRRRPPPP!** _ Huh? What’d you say **jr8**? OH! (hiding marmot)Uh…ummm… I’ll get you a .WAV file… gimme a minute… What’re you looking at?:mad: Now, **Arden** about that short skirt and cleavage… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-needs-some-flunkies/63490.md?page=7)