We should give Israel to the Mormons

[Cat_Whisperer]

A semi-serious answer - I think I speak for a lot of people in the world who are afraid that the endless conflict in the Middle East (including Israel) is going to blow the whole damned world up for all of us some day. I don’t care who’s right or who’s wrong - I just want people to stop fighting and endangering all of us for your neverending grudge match.

[Inner_Stickler]

I would support a measure saying anyone caught chucking rockets gets deported to Antarctica. In fact, I would support it on a global scale. (The tough question is how to enforce it without exiling yourself.)

[gamerunknown]

@buddha_david

“We” = the rest of the world. And “we” have the tanks and the bombs and the giant robots. Okay, maybe not giant robots…at least, not yet.

Israel has nukes and is very closely allied with a Security Council member with the most nuclear weapons in the world, one which has vetoed every practically every UN Security Resolution related to Israel.

[Damuri_Ajashi]

@Noone_Special

And what exactly do y’all propose to do with me? Maybe I like it here and don’t feel like moving…? You going to come and get me and force me out?

:rolleyes:

Nope, but I hope you like your new neighbors.

Are you under the impression that I seriously think we can relocate Israel to Wyoming?

@Monty

You know how the Jewish people have a history with the area formerly known as Palestine and before that known as Israel and a few other terms for different parts of that little chunk of Earth’s real estate? Well, the Mormons have a bit of a history with the United States doing nothing when they got chased out of the country. In the past, the Mormons were told–very strongly, at that—that they don’t belong in the United States. If by some miracle, another place outside of the US were to be designated as a new Mormon homeland and the American Mormons were told, “Hey, here’s a new homeland just for you guys!” what, exactly, do you think those US Mormons are going to think about that?

I think the better idea is to have the parties in Israel, Palestine, and the adjoining countries/territories sit down and negotiate in good faith to stop the madness there. “In good faith” does not mean sending rockets willy-nilly into Israel for giggles and it certainly doesn’t include sending one into Jerusalem.

I think you need to reread my posts for content. Your response seems to be a non sequitor.

I don’t think it helps when people characterize this conflict as if one side is almost entirely at fault.

@clairobscur

Out of curiosity, would you also support a mass immigration of Palestinians to any state, since it would solve the problem equally well?

Well, theoretically yes but I’m not sure it would solve the problem as completely. Palestinians aren’t the only people in the region that have a problem with a jewish staqte in Israel.

I am more comfortable with a mass migration of Israelis than a mass migration of Palestinian refugees (I just don’t feel like theyb like us as much as the Israelis do).

I think that Palestinians would be a greater net drain on social services after the transition period (at least for a while).

@Alessan

Well, Israelis love going to India, and you see plenty of Indian cultural flotsam and jetsam they bring back with them; I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some converts hanging around. There may also be some Hindus among the foreign worker population, although I haven’t seen any from India.

Well, some people say that Jesus spent a lot of time in India and he was a Jew.

[pikey_pete]

i can bring peace to israel/palestine. No, really. All I need is a whole shitload of burn barrels, big ships, lots of big fans…and all the marijuana confiscated worldwide every week. Just smoke the place out and hold all the baklava hostage until they can play nice.

[Noone_Special]

We do have Cheetos, too, y’know.

And a bunch of people who’ve built up a fair amount of tolerance…

[LavenderBlue]

@ed_anger

The US should have renamed New Jersey to Israel and settled the Jews there. Would have solved a lot of problems.

Too late. Sandy broke it.

[pikey_pete]

@Noone_Special

We do have Cheetos, too, y’know.

And a bunch of people who’ve built up a fair amount of tolerance…

ok, so we hold all the junk foor hostage, and something tells me that the people with a fair amount of tolerance aren’t the ones making the problems. That is just my uninformed opinion, but unless pot-heads in the middle east follow a completely different set of behaviors than the rest of the world’s stoners, i can be fairly confident in saying they probably aren’t the ones making trouble. That being said, if my plan were enacted…the stoners would be able to assume power.

[Monty]

@Damuri_Ajashi

I think you need to reread my posts for content. Your response seems to be a non sequitor.

I think it is you who needs to read for content. The OP of this thread said Mormons. Well, Mormons have a bit of a history of being kicked out of places. Another new destination probably won’t be received so kindly by that group of folks.

I don’t think it helps when people characterize this conflict as if one side is almost entirely at fault.

I did no such thing.

[R.P.McMurphy]

I’ve thought for a long time that Jerusalem and Bethlehem should be given over to Disney to manage as a theme park. Let everyone come and visit and have a good time. Jews, Muslims, Catholics, Protestants, Mormons anybody that traces their religious beliefs to the area. The place needs to be managed as a profit center, not a prize based on the last war. Give huge shares of Disney stock to Israel and the Palestinians. It would be sort of like a huge Indian casino. Everybody gets fat and happy!

Stupid idea, yea. But to my mind it’s the only solution. The fact that these two groups of people are wasting their lives and treasury on an insolvable situation based on religious propaganda is idiocy. Every recent President of the US has held the notion that they could help to resolve the conflict. No success. That’s not a partisan statement. Well, Jimmy Carter had a bit of success but who is going to give Jimmy Carter credit for anything?

This Mideast thing could take down the world as we know it and the reasons behind it are just stupid. WWI was stupid. The next one could make WWI look like boxing match.

[Monty]

Addendum to my post above: Of course I realize that DA was talking about an LDS heavy population in one state. My point is that the history of how that state got such a heavy population shouldn’t be ignored.

[tomndebb]

@dimmy_derko

I don’t have any old books that back up my claim, but family oral tradition speaks of a place back on the mother continent that I intend to go back to and reclaim by force after I’ve won the Euromillions and trained my capuchin army.

I doubt that your army is going to be much of a threat, given that an army of capuchins will never drive tanks or fly planes and would even have trouble handling infantry weapons.

[Trinopus]

Capuchin monks, perhaps? A trifle non-violent to serve as the cadre of an army, but then, they’re backed up by their legions of the dead! Skeletons galore! How can you kill what is already dead?

All in glorious Harryhausen stop-motion animation!

[Monty]

Come to think of it, OP, you shouldn’t really be ignoring any of the history in Israel/Palestine/adjoining countries. It’s not a simple issue.

[BrainGlutton]

@Odesio

I’m sure as hell not going to walk into Israel and tell them to move. People who do that have a way of getting hurt.

Discussion of how to bell the cat is three items down the agenda. This is the committee for discussion of the shape of the bell. Let the discussion continue.

[BrainGlutton]

@Alessan

I’m sorry that my country’s problems offend your sensibilities. Why, I’m certain I’ll lose tons of sleep over this.

Must . . . must resist the Jew-Guilt . . . the Jew-Guilt is strong with this one . . .

[Damuri_Ajashi]

@Monty

I think it is you who needs to read for content. The OP of this thread said Mormons. Well, Mormons have a bit of a history of being kicked out of places. Another new destination probably won’t be received so kindly by that group of folks.

Simmer down now.

You weren’t responding to the OP, you were responding to me. NOONE suggested we relocate Mormons. :rolleyes:

I did no such thing.

Really? So where is your criticism of Israel or are they faultless in all this?

[BrainGlutton]

@Rhodes

Ah, my misread. I saw the second quote “NO religious connection” as meaning a faction not connected to religion, but he probably meant a religion not connected to Israel.

Still, that disqualifies the Mormons. It’s an article of faith for them that Zion (the new Jerusalem) will be in America, but in the early days of Mormonism, Joseph Smith sent an apostle to the Holy Land to dedicate it for the gathering of the Jews.

Yes, yes, that’s it . . . herd them all into one place . . .

[Noone_Special]

@Damuri_Ajashi

**NOONE **suggested we relocate Mormons. :rolleyes:

I most definitely did no such thing!

[Monty]

@Damuri_Ajashi

Simmer down now.

You weren’t responding to the OP, you were responding to me. NOONE suggested we relocate Mormons. :rolleyes:]

Oh, grow up. I quoted you because you were the one who mentioned the bit about Utah being predominantly Mormon. It was convenient to post that because, as anyone even vaguely aware of the history of the US’s westward expansion shold know, the Mormons were chased out of the country, being told “We don’t want you here.” Now that I’ve laid that out, you can scroll back through the thread and see where I specifically mentioned that Mormons just might not be all that keen being told that there’s a cool new homeland for them outside the US. Can you not see that a new homeland outside of the US specifically designed for Mormons will most likely be seen by the Mormons as being told they’re no longer welcome where they are? It’s that whole history thing. Perhaps you should check out some history for giggles.

Really? So where is your criticism of Israel or are they faultless in all this?

Oh, just because I mentioned the most recent attack on Jerusalem, that means I’m completely unaware of the various things that have gotten certain Palestinians antsy? Why don’t you simmer down? I really don’t know how long it’s been, but I’ve been saying for years and years that if some Jews from Israel want to go build settlements in Palestine, as opposed to “Israel proper,” then they should get permission to do so from the West Bank/Gaza strip governments and agree to abide by their laws instead of trying to expand “Jewish land.”