# We Wanna Check Out Your Junk
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 27, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722 "2007-03-27T19:18:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 11
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/1 "2007-03-27T19:18:48Z")
“Without actually seeing your junk, it’s difficult to give you a price over the phone or online. We’re happy to send a team to you though. After seeing your junk, they’ll provide you with a no-obligation upfront price, and will be prepared to get started on the spot. Even if you can’t be onsite, we can still come by and call you with an estimate for your job.”
(This is actually part of the online instructions for [1 800 GOT JUNK](http://www.1800gotjunk.com), a company that hauls away _actual_ junk. But I got a smile out of it, and thought someone else might, too.)
---
### Author:  [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/2 "2007-03-27T19:25:24Z")
Ohhh… THAT kind of junk. Thought you were referring to the other junk, which is a euphemism I just can’t understand, for the external male genitalia. Brings on a whole different meaning to checking out a guy’s junk!
---
### Author:  [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/3 "2007-03-27T19:26:30Z")
Hooboy, they could have some fun with this. Some proposed ad copy:
“We’ll need to feel up your junk in order to get an idea of its quality, and we might take a few snapshots. Be sure that your junk is clean and ready to go when we come. If you have a nice package, so much the better. We’ll check out your box, too, if that’s how you’re equipped.”
---
### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/4 "2007-03-27T19:59:57Z")
[“It’s A Type Of Boat”](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0418.html)
---
### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/5 "2007-03-27T20:14:49Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston]
[“It’s A Type Of Boat”](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0418.html)
[/QUOTE]
Little known jive-fact:
“Junk” in the sense of heroin or other opiates, refers to the type of boat, not “trash.”
Originally, anything associated with China was handy stand-in slang/code for opiates. Fans, gongs, dragons, junk, etc.
[/worthless trivia]
---
### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2007, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/6 "2007-03-27T20:42:05Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
“We’ll need to feel up your junk in order to get an idea of its quality, and we might take a few snapshots. Be sure that your junk is clean and ready to go when we come. If you have a nice package, so much the better. We’ll check out your box, too, if that’s how you’re equipped.”
[/QUOTE]
“Or put your junk in _our_ box, for only a small extra fee!”
---
### Author:  [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/7 "2007-03-28T02:00:53Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug]
“Or put your junk in _our_ box, for only a small extra fee!”
[/QUOTE]
I am pretty sure that is illegal in most states in the USA… 😉
---
### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2007, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/8 "2007-03-28T03:36:04Z")
Ah, you’re no fun anymore.
---
### Author:  [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2007, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/9 "2007-03-28T03:47:16Z")
You can see their point of view though. What if you agreed, sight unseen, to deal with someone’s junk, then you turned up and it was **Diggleblop**?
---
### Author:  [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/10 "2007-03-28T04:37:09Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug]
“Or put your junk in _our_ box, for only a small extra fee!”
[/QUOTE]
Haha. I nearly choked on my toast at this. The whole thing appeals to my juvenile sense of humor, but this was the best bit so far.
---
### Author:  [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wanna-check-out-your-junk/397722/11 "2007-03-28T16:21:47Z")
A guy’s gotta’ be areful he doesn’t put his junk in any ol’ bag.
It’s not always true that one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. Although, you’d be surprised at what a difference it makes when you polish up some old junk. But it has to have function to have value; you don’t want somebody’s broken, rusty old junk, and you sure don’t want it cluttering up your yard. Some girls might not mind having a little junk in the bushes, though.
C’mon, you guys just aren’t tryin’!