# "We were on a break!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 21, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877 "2011-07-21T17:27:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/61 "2011-07-21T22:46:44Z")
> [@YoSaffBridge](#): > > But it wasn’t like Ross actively went after CSG. They were at the bar, she was there, throwing herself at him, and it just sort of happened. He didn’t walk out after the fight with Rachel and say, “I’m gonna get some Copy Shop Girl ass tonight.” But he did, in fact, get some copy girl ass. Not even half a day passed. To me this says the very second it becomes possible, I’m going to bone the next pretty girl who asks. Not boyfriend material for me. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/62 "2011-07-21T22:48:20Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > But then why does she get a pass on having dinner with Mark? If she’s sooo much love with Ross, why does she have another guy over when he calls? She didn’t fuck Mark. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/63 "2011-07-21T22:58:09Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > She didn’t fuck Mark. She also has no idea Mark is interested in her and she is definitely not interested in him. To Rachel, inviting Mark over is like having dinner with Chandler or Joey. Nothing was ever going to happen between them. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/64 "2011-07-21T22:58:45Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Can’t be trusted in a relationship. Trust implies an obligation or duty that is breached. What was the source of Ross’s obligation or duty and how was he to know that it existed? > [@](#): > > Ross was sooo much in love with Rachel that he couldn’t wait 5 minutes to jump into bed with someone else. So he was “in the clear” with the copy girl and Rachel is supposed to welcome him back with open arms once the break is over because of that? Many people, including, I think, the vast majority of men, can fuck any attractive prospect at any time absent some duty or obligation not to. Again, what was the source of Ross’s duty or obligation not to fuck the copy shop girl and did he know that such duty or obligation existed? What was it that was supposed to hold Ross back? You say he “couldn’t wait.” What or who was asking him to wait? When you break up with someone, you’re saying a lot of things, but one of those things, effective immediately is, “It’s none of my business whom you fuck.” ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/65 "2011-07-21T22:59:12Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > My TV must have been turned off for the last decade. Sorry. No TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at!? ---
**Author:** ![diku](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@diku](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diku)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/66 "2011-07-22T00:43:03Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > She also has no idea Mark is interested in her and she is definitely not interested in him. To Rachel, inviting Mark over is like having dinner with Chandler or Joey. Nothing was ever going to happen between them. Yes, but she knew how Ross felt about Mark. In my mind, she was being deliberately provocative towards Ross by inviting him over. No way does he take it well if he finds out, and she knows that. Or she was totally dense. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/67 "2011-07-22T01:00:09Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > She asked for a break. For me, a break is a break. > > Ross is annoying, but I side with him on this one. I’ve always thought so. Not a big _Friends_ fan here, but I always disliked it that Rachel thought it was cheating and treated it like some big crime. Nope. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/68 "2011-07-22T01:39:46Z")
Totally on the side of O.P. and Ross. He had nothing to apologize for. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/69 "2011-07-22T01:50:02Z")
They were clearly on a break, therefore it was not cheating or a betrayal. The idea that Ross had sex _so soon_ is ridiculously feminine and bespeaks an almost total ignorance of men. What, is he supposed to be sitting at home wallowing in tears while eating ice cream directly from the carton? He’s supposed to rebuff the advances of a hot chick because he’s an emotional wreck? Ha! That may be how women operate, but not men. As a semi-related example of the difference in genders, men don’t need to “feel sexy” to get in the mood, either. By the way, it’s bugging me that I can’t remember the actress who played the copy girl, and a cursory google just led me back here. In my mind’s eye it’s Joey Lauren Adams, but I’m pretty sure that’s wrong. Little help? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/70 "2011-07-22T01:53:10Z")
Hey, my sister and I each ended up marrying our rebound guys; I’m all fine with the idea. Plus he clearly got the idea that it was open season. Not that he’s totally blameless - he was not in a healthy place to be in another relationship due to old baggage. But that’s not so odd in real life either. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/71 "2011-07-22T02:06:56Z")
> [@EllisDee](#): > > By the way, it’s bugging me that I can’t remember the actress who played the copy girl, and a cursory google just led me back here. In my mind’s eye it’s Joey Lauren Adams, but I’m pretty sure that’s wrong. Little help? It’s[Angela Featherstone](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004911/), probably second best known as the bride who dumps Adam Sandler at the altar in The Wedding Singer. Didn’t Ross make some comment about how out of character it was for him? Something like, “You know me…this isn’t me! How messed up must I have been to do something like this?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/72 "2011-07-22T02:14:08Z")
> [@EllisDee](#): > > …By the way, it’s bugging me that I can’t remember the actress who played the copy girl, and a cursory google just led me back here. In my mind’s eye it’s Joey Lauren Adams, but I’m pretty sure that’s wrong. Little help? Here’s the [IMDb.com](http://IMDb.com) listing for the episode: ["Friends" The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break (TV Episode 1997) - IMDb](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0583487/) I see the CSG was named Chloe, and she was played by Angela Featherstone: [Angela Featherstone - IMDb](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004911/) Here she is in the episode: [http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsF/tve21734-19970213-444.jpg](http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsF/tve21734-19970213-444.jpg), [http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsF/tve21734-19970220-444.jpg](http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsF/tve21734-19970220-444.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/73 "2011-07-22T02:20:33Z")
She was in _Con Air_, too: [Angela Featherstone](http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1457690880/nm0004911) ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/74 "2011-07-22T02:34:29Z")
Another vote for the OP and for Ross. By the way, Ross’s thinking Mark was trying to get into Rachel’s pants (which, while apparently excessive, turned out to be right on the money) was NOT the only problem they were having, and was in fact not the subject of the fight that led to the “break” (although it was the catalyst that made her SAY “augh, maybe we should take a break” because he brought it up in the middle of the fight) – the fight was about Rachel’s increasing unavailability because of all the time and energy she was putting into her job. THAT fight was one of those weary slogs where nobody is exactly wrong; Rachel was arguing that Ross should respect that she was finally doing something that she loved, while Ross was pointing out that he was tired of having a relationship with her answering machine, etc. (Hey, remember answering machines? Having to go HOME to get our messages… were we the freakin’ Flintstones or something?) ---
**Author:** ![MrsMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@MrsMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrsMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/75 "2011-07-22T02:41:03Z")
If I recall correctly, it wasn’t that Rachel called and invited Mark over. He called, she sounded mopey, he was all “I’m coming over”, and she acted too defeated to argue. Now, yes he liked her, and yes he came over with wine. And yes, she should have realized and told him not to, etc… but it’s not like she was chasing him down to taunt Ross. I always had the impression that they were both being hit on and pursued while they were vulnerable, it’s just that Ross wasn’t able to say no while Rachel was strong enough to not let anything happen. Although I think it’s technically true that Ross didn’t cheat (but it’s a total crap move, and I know lots of people would do the same thing), I can totally understand why Rachel wouldn’t be able to get over it. It’s one thing to understand it logically than to be able to forgive and “forget”. She did eventually, but it took a long time. But I do have to say beyond the comedic mileage they got from it, what a great job the writers did. They managed to create a story line that people still think about and debate over all these years later. Yes, I’m a Friends geek. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/76 "2011-07-22T04:16:06Z")
> [@diku](#): > > Yes, but she knew how Ross felt about Mark. In my mind, she was being deliberately provocative towards Ross by inviting him over. No way does he take it well if he finds out, and she knows that. Or she was totally dense. It’s Rachel. Her being a little stupid was part of the character from the beginning. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/77 "2011-07-22T04:56:22Z")
Quoth **Little Nemo** : > [@](#): > > It seems to me that there are two opinions on what constitutes a break, both on the show and on this thread. > > The Rachel idea is that a break is like a time-out. The relationship is still in effect and the rules of fidelity still apply. It seems to me that the Rachel idea is that the rules of fidelity still applied _to him_. Even if it didn’t go any further, you do not invite another member of the appropriate sex to your apartment, alone, and share a bottle of wine with him, when you’re in a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/78 "2011-07-22T11:56:19Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Quoth **Little Nemo** :It seems to me that the Rachel idea is that the rules of fidelity still applied _to him_. Even if it didn’t go any further, you do not invite another member of the appropriate sex to your apartment, alone, and share a bottle of wine with him, when you’re in a relationship. As already mentioned, she did no such thing. Mark invited himself over. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/79 "2011-07-22T12:24:10Z")
I’m with Ross. He was effectively dumped for an indeterminate period and when he made an effort to clarify and/or patch things up he found Mark and Rachel in her apartment drinking wine, confirming his suspicions. At that point it was entirely reasonable for him to assume she wasn’t coming back any time soon. He was sad, lonely, vulnerable and IIRC had been drinking when a hot girl threw herself at him. He had no reason to expect Rachel gave a damn what he did at that point. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/80 "2011-07-22T12:27:29Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Not that he’s totally blameless - he was not in a healthy place to be in another relationship due to old baggage. But that’s not so odd in real life either. If you’re referring to the copy girl, it doesn’t matter since it wasn’t a relationship. If you’re referring to Rachel, well, he had to get over HotLesbianEx eventually. -Joe [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877.md?page=5)