# "We were on a break!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 21, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877 "2011-07-21T17:27:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/81 "2011-07-22T12:36:39Z")
Anyone else read that as “HotLesbianSex”? I’m with Team Ross, for all the reasons above. I used to have a jealous girlfriend who always thought my other female friends were trying to get in my pants. Whenever we argued, I knew that the _last_ thing I should do is go off and have in-depth conversations with said girls, lest I piss her off even more. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/82 "2011-07-22T13:22:03Z")
> [@MrsMonkey](#): > > But I do have to say beyond the comedic mileage they got from it, what a great job the writers did. They managed to create a story line that people still think about and debate over all these years later. Oh, no, you didn’t! …Yeah. I guess you did. You’re right of course. Whatever you may feel about it, here we are, still arguing over it. ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/83 "2011-07-22T15:30:00Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Quoth **Little Nemo** :It seems to me that the Rachel idea is that the rules of fidelity still applied _to him_. Even if it didn’t go any further, you do not invite another member of the appropriate sex to your apartment, alone, and share a bottle of wine with him, when you’re in a relationship. This isn’t a universally accepted rule of fidelity. Plenty of people have friends with whom they’d share a bottle of wine, who are of the ‘appropriate sex’. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/84 "2011-07-22T16:26:11Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > My TV must have been turned off for the last decade. Sorry. Over 2 decades for me. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/85 "2011-07-22T16:33:51Z")
I didn’t follow this show closely, but I am familiar with the characters. In my opinion, they are both in the wrong. Her going out to a dinner with a guy that Ross has a problem with is very, very disrespectful. But it does not equal sleeping with someone else. He should only have done that if the relationship was over. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/86 "2011-07-22T16:35:58Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > He should only have done that if the relationship was over. It _was_ over, so far as he could tell. That’s the whole point. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/87 "2011-07-22T16:36:03Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Over 2 decades for me. Aargh. Both of you, if it’s literally off, then why do you even still have it in your house? If you just mean that you don’t watch network/cable TV, funny how I also don’t watch any such TV either and yet I managed not to mention that in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/88 "2011-07-22T16:39:39Z")
I hated Ross. I hated his whiny character. I hated his selfishness, pettiness, jealousy and everything else about him. But he didn’t cheat. She told him they were on a break, clarified it wasn’t just from the argument but from the relationship, then allowed the one person she knew he was irrationally jealous of come over while she was alone in the apartment. He checked then double checked then triple checked her meaning. If you don’t want your boyfriend to screw other people don’t break up with him. Don’t expect him to go meekly home and cry into his pillow about how much you broke his heart. BTW Rachel already broke his spirit once over the whole ‘list’ thing he did when he was torn between her and Julie. She just expected him to do the same again. Tough luck. I have no sympathy for Rachel the moment she allowed Mark to come over. You’d have to be completely unaware of someone else’s feelings to let that happen. If there was a betrayal it was that moment. ---
**Author:** ![kath94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/67e7ee/32.png) [@kath94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kath94)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/89 "2011-07-22T16:41:00Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > \ > Edit: Alternately, that he should have somehow known that “break” means “We don’t hang out until we/I cool down, but no dating/screwing anyone else in the meantime.” > [@Musicat](#): > > A “break” sounds to me more like a pause, a cooling down period, a step-back-and-take-assessment time, not necessarily a permanent break-up. That’s close to what Ross thought, at least at first. I think the show’s writers deliberately chose (or made up) an ambiguous phrase to allow for comedic development. Isn’t that what most of _Three’s Company_ plots were – ambiguity and misunderstanding taken to comedic extremes? > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > It seems to me that there are two opinions on what constitutes a break, both on the show and on this thread. > > The Rachel idea is that a break is like a time-out. The relationship is still in effect and the rules of fidelity still apply. > > The Ross idea is that a break is like a full stop only with the possibility that it might restart in the future. But when the break is on the relationship is off and the rules of being in a relationship are not in effect. Precisely. Rachel \*\*\*implied \*\*\*that it was a clean break-off of the relationship, but treated Ross as if it were only a temporary “time-out.” Ross may have \*assumed \*it was the temporary time-out…until he heard Mark at Rachel’s apartment. At that point it became clear to him that any relationship was done. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/90 "2011-07-22T16:45:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth Little Nemo:It seems to me that the Rachel idea is that the rules of fidelity still applied to him. Even if it didn’t go any further, you do not invite another member of the appropriate sex to your apartment, alone, and share a bottle of wine with him, when you’re in a relationship. To clear up any confusion I didn’t say that Rachel’s big mistake was inviting another man over to her apartment. I feel her big mistake was telling Ross their relationship was over and then expecting him to act like he still had a commitment with her. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/91 "2011-07-22T17:14:41Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > To clear up any confusion I didn’t say that Rachel’s big mistake was inviting another man over to her apartment. I feel her big mistake was telling Ross their relationship was over and then expecting him to act like he still had a commitment with her. Bingo. Rachel wanted it both ways, to have a boyfriend who remained monogamous to her while she suspended their relationship. “A break from _us_,” in her exact words. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/92 "2011-07-22T17:16:43Z")
> [@](#): > > As already mentioned, she did no such thing. Mark invited himself over. And, what, he had his own set of keys? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/93 "2011-07-22T17:24:02Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > And, what, he had his own set of keys? Clearly, if he had, it would have been tooooootally innocent. She’s just the victim here! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/94 "2011-07-22T17:29:17Z")
I think I’m going to have to go with Ross, too - “a break from us” means we’re broken up, with an option to get back together if we can get our shit together. I guess Rachel should have made the ground rules clearer if she still wanted control over what Ross did during their broken-up period (which he could have agreed to or not). ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/95 "2011-07-22T18:03:31Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > Bingo. > > Rachel wanted it both ways, to have a boyfriend who remained monogamous to her while she suspended their relationship. “A break from _us_,” in her exact words. Exactly. BTW, I didn’t watch the series long enough to see the Hugh Laurie bit, which was hysterical, so thanks for posting it, whoever did it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/96 "2011-07-22T18:16:42Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > She also has no idea Mark is interested in her and she is definitely not interested in him. To Rachel, inviting Mark over is like having dinner with Chandler or Joey. Nothing was ever going to happen between them. Ross doesn’t think that! BTW, my definition of “break”-we are currently not a couple, by may be again in the future. IMO, Ross and Rachel are the WORST sitcom couplein my lifetime (33). There’s no plausible way they’d be together IRL. BTW, Brad totally traded up. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/97 "2011-07-22T19:37:22Z")
So basically, what you’re all saying is, it so DOES NOT! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/98 "2011-07-22T20:14:30Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > BTW, Brad totally traded up. I will totally fight for Jennifer’s honour!! {slaps etv78 with white gloves} ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/99 "2011-07-22T20:22:43Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > And, what, he had his own set of keys? To be fair, that door was almost _never_ locked. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877/100 "2011-07-22T20:24:08Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > It _was_ over, so far as he could tell. That’s the whole point. Well a “break” doesn’t mean it’s over necessarily, and neither does her having dinner with that guy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-were-on-a-break/589877.md?page=6)