# We will not post outrageous lies in this thread, **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2018, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949 "2018-03-03T04:34:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/21 "2018-03-04T23:43:35Z")
Jesus and a pregnant Mary were spared execution and exiled to Japan where they started a professional wrestling league. Jesus is returning real soon. I have this on the good authority of the Filipino guy I met in a laundromat more than 25 years ago. On 11/22/1963 in Dallas, there was a second gunman on the grassy knoll who was a double of Frank Sinatra (aka “The Second Sinatra Theory”). Cocoa beans originated before human history as an outlawed drug on an alien planet that ultimately destroyed itself following endless futile drug wars. After many years in space, the craft of a lone tentacled manatee-like survivor/dealer exploded sometime after entering Earth’s orbit, scattering the ship’s supply on the planet below in the region we know today as Central and South America. Louis “7-Fingers” Brown did not have 7 fingers on either hand. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/22 "2018-03-04T23:56:47Z")
I’m actually a young female quadriplegic, not a young-ish male paraplegic. I just used all the knowledge I obtained thru living with my injury to develop an award-winning personality. An ‘inspirational’ personality, if you will. Mmkay? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/23 "2018-03-05T00:02:24Z")
I am effortlessly graceful and talented, the natural master of everything I turn my hand to. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/24 "2018-03-05T00:32:05Z")
I suck. Nobody likes me. I eat worms because, why not? ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/25 "2018-03-05T00:37:08Z")
Everything I have said in this thread is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/26 "2018-03-05T00:39:34Z")
> [@jasg](#): > > Everything I have said in this thread is a lie. That means you’re either telling the truth now or in your previous posts. Disqualify!!! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/27 "2018-03-05T00:41:47Z")
My X-ray vision allows me to see which cabinet the treats are kept in. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/28 "2018-03-05T00:41:48Z")
I can walk but I choose not to because I don’t like the way I look no longer in a wheelchair. I’m just another dude then. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/29 "2018-03-05T01:36:19Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I can walk but I choose not to because I don’t like the way I look no longer in a wheelchair. I’m just another dude then. This is an outrageous lie. You just want to skip leg day. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/30 "2018-03-05T01:58:01Z")
Contrary to popular belief, dinner rolls are not actually nuts. Technically they are legumes. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/31 "2018-03-05T02:38:21Z")
Grass doesn’t push its way out of the soil, it’s pulled skyward by combined lunar and solar gravitational forces. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/32 "2018-03-05T05:46:53Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > This is an outrageous lie. You just want to skip leg day. Didn’t say there weren’t other benefits as well. You really do gotta find the silver lining in the pains and misfortunes of life. I have sex with my gf in the handicap stall in certain places. When we exit the stall, we have people just staring in a confused way. Not suspicious, just confused. They’d nevvvvvver suspect us of fucking in the handicap stalls because it was just a nurse assisting her wheelchair. And everyone knows wheelchairs don’t have sex. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/33 "2018-03-05T07:40:14Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Donald Trump is our greatest POTUS to date. I expected that one to be missing until at least post #50 or so. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/34 "2018-03-05T07:56:13Z")
I hit the power ball, I am taking the cash right now. Not the life long payments. And, I am buying everyone nice gifts. Just let me know what you would like. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/35 "2018-03-05T16:13:16Z")
Milk feels pain. Shadows can’t travel in a vacuum. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/36 "2018-03-05T16:17:18Z")
Humans learned how to vulcanize rubber from actual Vulcans. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/37 "2018-03-05T16:52:22Z")
My wife is actually Jennifer Lawrence’s twin sister in a very good disguise. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/38 "2018-03-05T23:01:48Z")
Parallel parking was popularized by William Randolph Hearst. When Hearst had his castle built at San Simeon, California in the 1920’s, the amount of parking space in the court proved to be insufficient, as Hearst was fond of huge parties. He delighted in jumping into a guest’s car and expertly wheeling into a spot along the drive in the maneuver that we know so well today. While some even claim that he actually inventing the technique, he certainly made it a more popular way to park, and it was virtually unknown before this time. Dennis ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/39 "2018-03-06T00:35:31Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > My wife is actually Jennifer Lawrence’s twin sister in a very good disguise. Alright, enough of that. I _am_ Jennifer Lawrence (just ignore that dangly thing), and I know where my twin sister has been. Not with _you_. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949/40 "2018-03-06T01:23:42Z")
NO! I am Jennifer Lawrence and her twin sister dammit! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-will-not-post-outrageous-lies-in-this-thread/809949.md?page=3)