# We won't take NO for an answer, even if it's from US! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 22, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887 "2003-05-22T20:36:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/1 "2003-05-22T20:36:51Z")
CapitalOne. My friends, my neighbors, my most persistent pimps of hyperextended finance: Get a fucking clue, will you? After going through a rough patch a number of years ago, and getting sucked into the black hole that is maxed out credit cards, I recently managed to climb completely out of the morass that is multi-hundred dollar minimum monthly payments. All the cards: paid off. All the cards: cancelled, mostly due to a goodly number of late payments (after a while I just couldn’t care a lot anymore). Everything: gone, over, done with. Blessed relief. Positive cash flow. Growing bank account. Life was good (or better, at any rate). Who, then, should come sniffing at my door like a neighborhood tom discovering the new kitty hasn’t had her operation yet and is pining for some fjording? CapitalOne. Nice people that they are (“ONLY _the_ BEST” says their envelope), they offered to help me rebuild my credit by offering me a (_gasp_) _credit card!!_ True, the interest rate was fairly high, but still…it was damned thoughtful of them, given what I’d just been through. After all, they’d PRE-APPROVED me, so all I had to do was send in the invitation letting them know I’d accepted. I had to regretfully decline, however. Having only recently managed to survive just that minefield, I thought it better to stay out of debt in the first place than allow myself to indulge in the slippery slope that had already once undone me. Into the trash it went. But CapitalOne knew that it was temporary insanity which led me down such a path. They knew I needed their help. They knew I was lost in the wilderness and would only perish if they didn’t lead me out to safety and prosperity. Accordingly, a few weeks after the first gracious invitation had been so ungratefully ignored, they sent another. “We know you didn’t mean it,” they seemed to say. “You were hurt. You thought no-one could help. Oprah was just someone on TV. But _we are HERE for you_! Let us help! We’ve already PRE-APPROVED you, so there’s no problem there, right?” This interest rate was slightly lower. Did I learn? Did I see the light? Alas, I was in the place of darkness, and the second angel of balance transfers was likewise unceremoniously discarded. So they sent another. “No, really,” the third one was no more brusque than the first. Gentle, patient, firm. “We’re really here for you. Owe us money. It’ll make you feel better, we promise. We’ve even made sure to PRE-APPROVE you, so you don’t have to worry about being creditworthy. We already think you are! Isn’t that great?” Obstinate in my newfound financial freedom, I refused to heed their kind words. The wastebasket retired well-fed that night. “Look, we’ll lower our interest rate a bit,” came the next communication a few weeks later, “surely that will lift the cloud from your brow and allow you to see The Light. We can feel your suffering, and only wish to ease it. Let us shoulder your burden, just for a little while. Did we mention that you’re PRE-APPROVED? Just in case you were worried about being good enough for us and all: DON’T. We’ve already checked into that for you.” My wastebasket was once again full-bellied and happy. "How’s about we just _drop_ the interest altogether for a few months, so you can try us ABSOLUTELY FREE??? We’ve already PRE-APPROVED you, so there need be no concern on your part over creditworthiness. All taken care of, you bet. Surely you can see the sense in THAT? " they wanted to know the next month. I couldn’t. Can wastebaskets gain weight? I was starting to notice a slight bulge about its middle. “Ah,” came the next one, “we think we know what the problem is. Sometimes things get lost in the mail, you know; so it’s likely the previous half-dozen or so letters from us never made it to you. For your convenience, we will send them all to you again, in order to make sure you don’t miss out on our fantastic offer (as we’re certain you would desire were you to actually communicate said desires to us). Watch your mailbox. We really do want to help…PRE-APPROVED!!! Thank you.” _[Memo to Self: Buy StairMaster for wastebasket.]_ …And so on, and so on. For _two freaking YEARS_ these cat-fjorders have been badgering me to get one of their stupid cards. Every month or so like clockwork on a clock you mostly remember to wind, there’s been another one. I’m really starting to wish I had saved them all: I could have material for a harassment suit. Finally, I caved. Yes, I’m not proud of it, but I’d had enough. Reasoning that if I actually HAD one of their cards, they would quit trying to push one on me, I send in the PRE-APPROVED invitation. I just wanted them to STOP. So I sent it in. 13.9% APR. They turned me down. After two dozen of these damned things cluttering my mailbox, **they turned me down!** Their reasons: Missed and/or late payments (which I kind of expected). No large outstanding debt (so I’ve got MONEY, you bozos!) No balances to transfer (so I’m not already in debt to someone else, so I’VE GOT MONEY, YOU BOZOS!!!) I wept. Well, actually, I think I had a good laugh, fed the morbidly obese trash receptacle one last time, and watched some TV. Thank Dowjones _that’s_ over, my brain muttered through a _That '70’s Show_ rerun. But it wasn’t. Today, I got ANOTHER one from them. Same patter: balance transfers, no interest until 11/2003, PRE-APPROVED, blah-blah-blah. This one is the lowest interest rate yet (9.9%!). AAUUGGH, my aching cerebrum!! They’ve pestered me for two years about this, beating me into submission through sheer force of mass mailings, _then_ they TURN ME DOWN, and NOW THEY’VE LOWERED THE \*INTEREST RATE???\*_ **WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???** _ Are they rubbing my face in rejection? Are they senile? What’s in Their Wallet, short-term memory loss? That’s it. To CapitalOne, if you’re reading, I offer the following advice:: Either send me a fucking card or shut your piehole. Put up or shut up. Otherwise, I’m ripping out my mailbox. From now on, I shall only be reachable via dowsing. Let’s see if YOU can get Randi’s million. Wankers. ---
**Author:** ![Profane\_Creation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@Profane\_Creation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane_Creation)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/2 "2003-05-22T21:25:16Z")
Nice rant. Wish they could get it. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/3 "2003-05-22T21:47:28Z")
I bow in your general direction. I especially enjoyed the wastebasket bits. ---
**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/4 "2003-05-22T21:52:41Z")
> [@](#): > > They turned me down. > … > Today, I got ANOTHER one from them Oh…My…God! The build up! The tension! The drama! The pure human stupidity that _is_ CapitalOne! \ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/5 "2003-05-22T21:58:11Z")
Did you make sure to cut up any pre-approved credit cards before tossing them? A neighbor here had someone get cards out of their trash and then ran up a huge debt. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/6 "2003-05-22T22:05:34Z")
Target keeps doing the same thing to me. “Do you want a Target Visa?” they say. “Why yes, that sounds lovely.” say I. “You can’t have one, you fucking deadbeat!” they say. Apparently, pre-approved doesn’t actually mean “You’re already approved for a credit card.” On a similar note, today I went to open a joint account with my SO, with whom I have just bought a house. Should be simple, I think, since I’ve got cash in my pocket and postive balance in my bank account. After ducking out of work and sitting in the bank for over a half hour, giving them all my personal information and making fake small talk with the smarmy banker lady, I’m told I can’t have a checking account with them. “Why not?” I say. “I just had tons of people clamoring to give me a home loan and you can’t put my name on a checking account that I will only use once a month?” “I can’t give you an account at this time. Please call this number to discuss the matter further.” “Like hell I will. I’m going to walk over to the bank across the street and give them my money.” I say, which I promptly did without incident. Fuckers. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/7 "2003-05-22T22:20:08Z")
I worked for Capital One in their ‘customer relations’ department - i.e. call center - for one year after college. Capital One is the melanoma of the credit card world. Every time you think they might just be going away, they come back. You can request to be removed from their mailing list. I can tell you exactly what will happen to that piece of paper that the CSR fills out. It’ll sit on her desk for about a day, and then she will put it into the Black Hole of Pendaflexes. We never knew where things went after putting them into the black hole. I suspect they went to make recycled toilet paper for the bathrooms. Whatever happened to them, they certainly didn’t go towards the ‘do not contact’ list. Capital One patronizes those with bad credit who need to rebuild as a large part of their customer base. But that doesn’t mean you’ll actually get a card if you’re pre-approved. It just means that you fit a certain criteria for being _offered_ a card. It means nothing. And to be honest, CapitalOne is the _last_ company I would ever recommend to anyone. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/8 "2003-05-22T22:26:07Z")
**vibrotronica:** They turned you down for a CHECKING account??? :eek: 😕 The mind boggles. You plunk down an opening deposit, they open your account. What’s so hard about that? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/9 "2003-05-22T22:29:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vibrotronica \* > \*\*Target keeps doing the same thing to me. “Do you want a Target Visa?” they say. “Why yes, that sounds lovely.” say I. “You can’t have one, you fucking deadbeat!” they say. Apparently, pre-approved doesn’t actually mean “You’re already approved for a credit card.” > \*\* Oh hell no. _Everyone_ is preapproved. Everyone. Felons, pets, dead people, little kids, and the Pope all stand equal chance of getting “preapproved.” ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/10 "2003-05-22T23:28:40Z")
If I’m not mistaken…they usually **actually** say that you’re pre-approved TO APPLY. Big of them, huh? I get incredible amounts of mail offering me credit cards. The really entertaining part for me is skipping the “rah-rah” part, turning it over, and reading the interest rate. 0% until December! **Only** 17.99% after that. However, if I am late on _one payment_ it jumps to 28.99%. AND there’s a $79.00 annual fee. You can’t PAY for this kind of comedy. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/11 "2003-05-22T23:53:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\ ***vibrotronica:** They turned you down for a CHECKING account??? :eek: 😕 The mind boggles. You plunk down an opening deposit, they open your account. What’s so hard about that? \*\* I read somewhere, I think it was a book called “The Broke Diaries”, that quite a few banks are in some kind of system, where if you do something bad at one bank, you’re not allowed to open an account at any of the banks. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/12 "2003-05-22T23:56:42Z")
Such a system does exist, though I can’t remember the name of the system right now. I had problems at one bank and tried to just switch, but the new one claimed I owed money to the old one and wouldn’t let me do anything until it had been settled. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/13 "2003-05-23T00:01:31Z")
If said offer comes with a postage paid return envelope, just go ahead and send all their crap back to them. I used to take a red marker and write NO NO NO NO NO NO on the application before returning it to sender. It didn’t stop future mailings, but it was theraputic for a while. Now I just tear the offers in half without opening the envelope. It no longer bothers me. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/14 "2003-05-23T00:55:26Z")
Hmmm. What would happen if you put together a big, heavy box of random junk, slapped the “postage paid” envelope on it as a mailing label, and dropped it in the mailbox? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/15 "2003-05-23T01:35:07Z")
It’s a fun thought, **GMRyujin** , but unfortunately it won’t work. [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2\_356.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_356.html) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/16 "2003-05-23T02:53:11Z")
Ahh, bugger, nice idea though. I hate when someone beats me to my evil scheme. ---
**Author:** ![Sqube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@Sqube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sqube)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/17 "2003-05-23T03:54:18Z")
> [@](#): > > I wept. Well, actually, I think I had a good laugh, fed the morbidly obese trash receptacle one last time, and watched some TV. Sheer poetry. I think that’s gonna have to be my official quote of the day. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/18 "2003-05-23T05:01:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \* > … _[Memo to Self: Buy StairMaster for wastebasket.]_ … Bwaaahaaaahaaaahaaahaaa … ---
**Author:** ![litost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@litost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/litost)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/19 "2003-05-23T06:59:09Z")
You French are asking for it. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887/20 "2003-05-23T10:42:20Z")
Slow clap. A great rant, sir. Especially the stairmaster. Wasn’t there a thread about the meaning of pre-approved.’ I think it meant… well, I don’t think it did mean, actually. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/we-wont-take-no-for-an-answer-even-if-its-from-us/176887.md?page=2)