# Weapons in comic books - closing down sale! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 9, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005 "2006-08-09T14:31:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/21 "2006-08-10T01:35:51Z")
Any unbreakable shields with a patriotic motif? I’m looking for something that can bounce off eight walls and still knock a nazi thug unconscious. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/22 "2006-08-10T02:31:08Z")
Got any Cosmic Cubes? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/23 "2006-08-10T05:26:53Z")
I’m looking for some stylish bracelets, maybe gold–you think you could help a girl out? Oh, that glowy rope thing over there looks _perfect_ to accessorize… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/24 "2006-08-10T06:46:25Z")
Silver surf’s up! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/25 "2006-08-10T12:29:09Z")
How much for the Legion of Super-Heroes’s Miracle Machine? ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/26 "2006-08-10T13:53:13Z")
[QUOTE=First Amongst Daves] And - drok! - Judge Dredd’s Lawmaker now only 50,000 credits! [/QUOTE] A bargain for a weapon that self destructs if it doesn’t recognise the DNA of the person firing it as that of its rightful owner 😉 Beyond anyone’s price range really, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a [Lazy Gun](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lazy_gun)? If only for its comical death dealing. ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Daves)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/27 "2006-08-10T15:55:00Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] I’m looking for some stylish bracelets, maybe gold–you think you could help a girl out? Oh, that glowy rope thing over there looks _perfect_ to accessorize… [/QUOTE] Yes, the former owner has a nice swimsuit, and a double-bladed battle axe, to go with it. We did have a plane as well, but seem to have misplaced it. > [@](#): > > How much for the Legion of Super-Heroes’s Miracle Machine? Regrettably the only one we had in stock has been eaten. > [@](#): > > Any unbreakable shields with a patriotic motif? I’m looking for something that can bounce off eight walls and still knock a nazi thug unconscious. Only a few shields left in stock, sorry. We have the Guardian’s golden shield, Power Princess’ invisible shield, The Shield’s uniform, the Atomic Knight’s shield, a few hoplite ones from Frank Miller’s 300, USAgent’s five pointed number, and a couple of left-overs from Camelot 3000. > [@](#): > > Got any Cosmic Cubes? Stock is in alphabetical order, sir: just down there in aisle four between “boom tubes” and “cosmic rods”. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/28 "2006-08-11T00:02:40Z")
[QUOTE=First Amongst Daves] And - drok! - Judge Dredd’s Lawmaker now only 50,000 credits! [/QUOTE] Nitpick: that’s Lawgiver, citizen. How much for der Happy Stick, old cucumber? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/29 "2006-08-11T00:39:24Z")
I’ve been looking for some of those “Toastmaster” cannons that John Irons developed; I figure they’re just the thing for brutally repressing “undesirable” peoples for no rational reason on my part. (That, or using them against really _deserving_ targets, making the world a better, safer place, and filling the original inventor and other superheroes with the grim, nagging idea that all this time, they were just letting the world go to pot for the sake of satisfying their personal morals. Either way, I get to screw with people’s heads.) Failing that…do you have anything in the way of a Genesis Device? (The “life from lifelessness” part doesn’t have to work right—that part doesn’t really matter. Nothing matters.) Oh, right, I also need some way of shooting people when I have my hands up at gunpoint. Do you have anything in stock that doesn’t require a cyberization procedure? ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Daves)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/30 "2006-08-11T00:56:25Z")
Sorry, sir: most of our solutions require invasive surgery. We do have spare parts for Cyborg (Titans), Cable, the Reavers, The Cyborg (Superman villain), some vaccum tubes for Commander Steel, spare arms for Stryker, Ballistic and most of Cyberforce, Mother One from Wetworks, Ultimate Misty Knight, Global Frequency rogue USAF cyborgs, and, perhaps the very thing you are looking for, a spare dial from Mean Machine Angel. Our talented physicians from Weapon X’s surgical labs can be found near the Customer Service desk. [QUOTE=Case Sensitive] Nitpick: that’s Lawgiver, citizen. [/QUOTE] Drok! Iso-cube for me. ---
**Author:** ![lokij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@lokij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lokij)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/31 "2006-08-11T01:26:34Z")
I’m looking for a nice suit in an Anthony Stark design, maybe something in red. XXLT please. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/32 "2006-08-11T01:36:24Z")
[QUOTE=First Amongst Daves] Drok! Iso-cube for me. [/QUOTE] While you’re clearing out your old 2000AD stock, you got any of Halo Jones’ zenades? Aummm! ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/33 "2006-08-11T02:41:47Z")
[QUOTE=First Amongst Daves] Gotcha standard rectangular version, your Beta-Ray Bill, your little Thorgirl one for people with small hands… [/QUOTE] Obviously I’m not the target audience for this thread but, I just gotta say … Who even knew there \*was \* a Thorgirl? According to [this](http://www.immortalthor.net/bio-thorgirl.html) site, she’s 5’9", is sometimes known as “Thor Lass” and “Hammer Girl,” and weighs 317 pounds. Dang. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/34 "2006-08-11T04:11:33Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] How much for the Legion of Super-Heroes’s Miracle Machine? [/QUOTE] I’ll take the Miracle Machine, the Cosmic Cube, the Infinity Gauntlet and . . . that’s on credit, right? I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna have a problem paying you. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/35 "2006-08-11T04:17:42Z")
Does the [url=]Orgazmorator count as a weapon? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/36 "2006-08-11T04:22:55Z")
Do you have any webshooters? _Mechanical_ webshooters? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/37 "2006-08-11T04:24:03Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] How much for the Legion of Super-Heroes’s Miracle Machine? [/QUOTE] I’ll take the Miracle Machine, the Cosmic Cube, the Infinity Gauntlet and . . . that’s on credit, right? I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna have a problem paying you. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/38 "2006-08-11T05:48:39Z")
This may be a bit obscure, but do you happen to have a set of Iron Lantern armor? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/39 "2006-08-11T05:52:48Z")
Oh, yes…if you have the really rare items…how about a chinese lantern, capable of raising the dead? Preferably in some shade of green? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005/40 "2006-08-11T05:58:05Z")
You got any net-guns that actually work? All the ones I ever used just messed up the guy’s hair. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weapons-in-comic-books-closing-down-sale/368005.md?page=3)