# Wear a patch, you idiot!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 27, 2001, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101 "2001-02-27T20:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/21 "2001-02-28T07:50:36Z")
My father has a glass eye; he found it on the street in Syracuse, New York sometime in the mid to late 1970’s (seriously! I was just a kid at the time…I’ve since wondered how it came to be laying in the street; anyone in Syracuse missing an eye?). I’ll never forget the day that he brought it home, tucked into his fist, and called us kids over: **Dad** : Hey kids! Check it out! _uncurls fist a bit to expose what seems to be a REAL eye staring out between his index finger and thumb…_ **Kids** : AAAAAHHHHHH!!! **Mom** : What the hell are you doing to the kids? **Dad** : Just having a little fun! No wonder I grew up as twisted as I am! FWIW, I had to wear an eyepatch for about a month or so when I was 8 years old (as the result of a weird fort-building accident in which I aquired the **coolest** black eye I have ever seen, about 20 stitches, and lost a small section of my skull just above my left eyesocket). The best part of the eyepatch was that it hid the black eye (for the most part) and the stitches; so I could sneak up on the girls, lift the patch, and seriously gross them out! Hilarity would, of course, then ensue! Most enjoyable!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/22 "2001-02-28T10:56:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stuffinb \* > \*\*[. I can imagine wearing one that says "use other eye \<\<\< " or maybe “back in 20 minutes” . > > But then I’m a little goofy. > > \*\* And you just made it onto the Stoidal List of Cool Posters. top notch! ---
**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/23 "2001-02-28T12:06:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\*Several years ago I saw a young woman wearing one of those halo-type contraptions they put on you when you’ve injured your spine or neck. (I want to say that she was walking rather than in a wheelchair, but that doesn’t seem to make sense. Perhaps she had an injury that did not affect her mobility but still required her neck to be immobilized in something more than a cervical collar.) It was a black metal framework that encased her head and shoulders, and it had four vertical antenna-looking things sticking up, above her head, at the four “corners.” > > My immediate thought was that if I ever had to wear one of those, I’d mount colorful flags on those “antennae.” If people are going to stare at me, might as well give them something to look at. And show them that I have a sense of humor, however twisted. > \*\* I knew a guy who had to wear a halo after a nasty car accident (he cracked a vetebra in his neck, but could still walk around). He took to letting his kids decorate the thing… One day he came in with a stuffed parrot attached to it. Another day his daughter tucked tiny violets into each on of the holes in the head band of the halo. It was pretty cool, and certainly helped inject a little humor into the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/24 "2001-02-28T12:47:43Z")
I once saw (on TV) a guy who had a false eye which was red, had a skull on the front, and _lit up_. That is **so cool**! And I’ll second the nomination for **stuffinb** as Official Cool Poster. “Use other eye\<\<\<” indeed…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/25 "2001-02-28T13:01:14Z")
This reminds me of Drew Carey’s book “Dirty Jokes And Beer” wherein he talks about how his father had to have an eye removed because of a brain tumor and would show the young Drew how he could blow cigarette smoke out of the eye socket… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/26 "2001-02-28T14:39:00Z")
Well, my extremely fashionable mother had to wear a padded neck collar after a car accident a few years ago. She wrapped a silk scarf around it and held it closed with a small gold circle pin—got lots of compliments on it! Herbert Marshall—a popular actor of the 1920s and '30s—lost his leg in WWI and had a wooden one. He would frequently freak people out (and ruin his pants) by casually parking a letter opener in his thigh. Love the brain-guy, Matt. Sounds very Mojo Jojo. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/27 "2001-02-28T17:00:45Z")
:::bows::: Thanks you’ve been great! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pismonque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/46a35a/32.png) [@Pismonque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pismonque)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/28 "2001-03-01T08:11:10Z")
I also had a friend years ago who wore one of those chrome and plastic halo contraptions due to an ATV-related spinal injury. We went to a fast food joint one night, along with another friend, and while waiting in line we noticed that the girl behind the counter at the head of our line was pretty hot. The uninjured friend and I began mock primping as a bit of a joke, and the fellow wearing the halo contraption looked back and forth between us, seemingly dismayed that he couldn’t do likewise. Then he turned suddenly, grabbed a napkin from the dispenser on the counter and began shining his chrome. Too funny! ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/29 "2001-03-01T10:24:49Z")
I’ve got a friend who lost an eye to a BB gun as a teenager. He wears a glass eye most of the time and a patch occasionally cause the glass eye isn’t super comfortable. When he’s away from people, like when we go out camping, he’ll go without either. It’s not that freaky, the eyelids cover most of the socket and they’re indented a bit. He’s got a bud who does professional makeup for movies. One halloween, he got the guy to make him up so it looked like a giant screw went in his empty socket and out the side of his head. It looked pretty real; it was rad. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/30 "2001-03-01T22:33:38Z")
> [@](#): > > In the nineteenth century a few odd things like this happened. There are records of a man who had part of his internal organs, including his stomach visible, and other gruesome things left un-sewn up When I was a real little kid I wanted to have a window put into my stomach just like the cow at the vet school. I begged my mom for days, so finally she said I could do it when I was 18. 🙂 Come to think of it it would be a real one-upper when people started showing off piercings and tatoos if you could lift your shirt and show the window to your spleen. ---
**Author:** ![johnboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e47c2d/32.png) [@johnboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnboy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/31 "2001-03-02T02:07:01Z")
Hey Scylla, I’m the “Duke of New York.” Yes I saw the movie. I’ve always thought of myself as the “Brain” character. You remember the dude that was like a chemist, ballistics expert, and what not who made gasoline for those rediculous “rigs” the bas guys drove? The most remembered movie quote of 1980 (circa) has to be “Why’d ya’ shoot Cyrus?” “No Reason, I just like doin’ stuff like that.” ---
**Author:** ![Adolph\_Peewee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Adolph\_Peewee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adolph_Peewee)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/32 "2001-03-02T14:02:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheVoiceofReason \* > \*\*I have a friend who lost the sight in his left eye when he was little and he puts in this special contact lens which is invisible during the day but glows under ultraviolet light. Whenever we go clubbing he’s always the center of attention with this massive, glowing, radioactive looking eye. \*\* WICKED! where fo you get these from? I’ve got a mate who has a couple of ear-rings like this…and his tongue ring as well! Looks a little freaky…but eyes… _WOW_ ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/33 "2001-03-02T14:59:53Z")
Re: The OP. **Exactly** , Scylla! My older brother has a glass eye. I have had this very conversation with him, as he rarely if ever wears his patch anymore. But he’s a married family man, so he doesn’t seem to care about the chick-magnet possibilities the patch allows. I’d begin cultivating that Kurt Russell, “Escape From New York” look while I was still in my hospital bed! How 'bout a glass eye with this on it: ;)? That would turn heads. And he never goes for the cheap laugh. I would tell all my casual friends that I met on the street that I’d “keep an eye out for them” in the future. Or throw it at women, then give them a long-stemmed rose, because they “caught my eye.” ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/34 "2001-03-02T19:50:13Z")
**Milossarian** Are we related? We have the same sense of humor exactly. I normally only see it in my bros. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gundhilde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecc23a/32.png) [@Gundhilde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundhilde)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/35 "2001-03-03T17:26:30Z")
I was a preschool pirate! The most severe injury I’ve ever gotten (thank goodness) was a splinter in my eye when I was five years old. After the somewhat scary removal of the splinter, the doctor said he had a surprise for me. He gave me a pirate patch to wear to school. What a cool doctor. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/36 "2001-03-04T03:42:00Z")
and, (keeping in mind, whenever I read his posts, the mental voice I have in my head is perky, chatty), I would like to also propose > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Astroboy_ > My father has a glass eye; he found it on the street in Syracuse, New York sometime in the mid to late 1970’s ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/37 "2001-03-04T05:35:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\*Several years ago I saw a young woman wearing one of those halo-type contraptions they put on you when you’ve injured your spine or neck. \ > > My immediate thought was that if I ever had to wear one of those, I’d mount colorful flags on those “antennae.” If people are going to stare at me, might as well give them something to look at. And show them that I have a sense of humor, however twisted. \*\* I knew a professional swing dancer who fell on her neck ( :eek: ) during a dance rehearsal (her partner lost his hold of her during an aerial move). She had to wear the halo-contraption to stabilize her neck, and whenever she showed up at dances and shows, the halo was _always_ decked out with silk flowers and gingham ribbons. I always thought that was the coolest. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/38 "2001-03-04T16:14:19Z")
Or you could do like that bad mofo Klingon did in one of the Star Trek movies. I think it was 4. Anyway, he had an eyepatch, but instead of a string connecting it, the patch was bolted onto his skull with chrome screws. That would be hella-cool. ---
**Author:** ![Nimue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Nimue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nimue)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101/39 "2001-03-04T21:55:59Z")
My brother wore an eye patch for a time when he was a kid. He’s been blind in one eye since his very premature birth and the doctor recommended wearing an eye patch for a while. (That eye is also lazy; the patch may have been an effort to help that or the better eye – I can’t remember). Anyway, our childhood photo album is full of pictures of him looking like a little pirate. Come to think of it, he dressed up as a pirate most years for Halloween… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wear-a-patch-you-idiot/56101.md?page=1)