# Wearing a white dress to someone else's wedding **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 28, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500 "2007-12-28T18:55:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/1 "2007-12-28T18:55:16Z")
Doesn’t everyone know that it’s in poor taste to wear a white dress to someone else’s wedding? Even if you’ve never heard this, wouldn’t it just seem a little strange to do so? My step-daughter wore a white dress to my wedding and (though she can’t be blamed) it was also similar in style to my dress. I found this to be tacky and thought that is was common knowledge. Am I wrong? Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/2 "2007-12-28T18:59:36Z")
“Doesn’t everyone know that it’s in poor taste to wear a white dress to someone else’s wedding?” :raises hand: I don’t. But then, I’m a non-dress wearing guy. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/3 "2007-12-28T19:01:53Z")
Perhaps she did it on purpose. How’s the relationship between you two? And how old is she? Then again, lots of people have no idea how to dress for formal (or even “nice”) occasions, or just don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/4 "2007-12-28T19:05:41Z")
I’m getting married next month and I think it really depends on the dress. If it’s a white sun dress or some other cute little dress, fine. A white suit, it would depend. If it’s a white gown, that’s tacky. Also, if there is a pattern in a different color, almost anything would be fine. My aunt is giving my mother hell for wearing a black and purple suit because you can’t wear black to a wedding. I tried not to roll my eyes, I really did. If anything that has black in it is out of the question, that doesn’t leave much for a middle aged worn that doesn’t want to look like she’s 110 or 15. And yes, I’ve heard both rules before. I think they are both outdated, but again, it depends more on style than color. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/5 "2007-12-28T19:07:14Z")
Sorry, I did not know that either. But this is why I love being a guy. My decision is: the black suit or the tan suit? ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/6 "2007-12-28T19:08:35Z")
[QUOTE=Scarlett67] Perhaps she did it on purpose. How’s the relationship between you two? **And how old is she**? [/QUOTE] Was wondering this, as well. I’ve often seen little girls (say, \<10 years old) wear white to weddings. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/7 "2007-12-28T19:22:22Z")
Eh, the “rule” supposedly is meant to keep the guests from “upstaging” the bride at her own wedding. My feeling is that if you can \*be \* upstaged at your own wedding, it’s probably not because of the dress. And if you’re looking at \*your husband’s daughter \* and thinking “tacky” \*while \* you’re saying “I do”, that portends much bigger problems than the sartorial. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/8 "2007-12-28T19:25:36Z")
It is a rule but rules can be broken. Depends on the shade of white and the style of dress. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/9 "2007-12-28T19:36:56Z")
Generally speaking, yes, adult women as a matter of courtesy should NOT wear white to a wedding. It used to be no black either, as that’s a sign of mourning in western countries. These days that is not an absolute; in fact, sometimes bridesmaids these days wear black. Tangent: I’ve been advised that traditionally in some Asian countries, white is the color of mourning, and that folks there were horrified that a woman would wear white to be married. Their preference was red or some other bright color. ---
**Author:** ![Bea\_Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Bea\_Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bea_Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/10 "2007-12-28T19:40:29Z")
By “similar”, do you mean with a train and veil? That’s what happened to me. My sister wanted to wear the same thing just because we are joined at the hip. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/11 "2007-12-28T19:43:50Z")
Traditional Asian weddings don’t include the color white, but nowadays most people have Western-style weddings anyway. And funerals (although the principal mourners will usually be wearing white instead of black - in Korea, anyway). Not wearing a wedding gown-like dress to a wedding seems like common courtesy to me. :: shrug :: Especially if you’re of the age where you’re buying your own clothes. It may seem petty for the bride to care about this, but it also seems pretty petty of the guest who does it. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/12 "2007-12-28T19:50:14Z")
I was in a wedding where one of the guests (a dude) was wearing a tux-- not a fella in the bridal party, just a cousin. I thought that was a bit odd. [QUOTE=MLS] Tangent: I’ve been advised that traditionally in some Asian countries, white is the color of mourning, and that folks there were horrified that a woman would wear white to be married. Their preference was red or some other bright color. [/QUOTE] Another tangent: (and this isn’t a slam on you MLS) why do people of other cultures get horrified when people of another culture do things a different way? Are there really Asian women out there who gasped upon hearing that western women would want to wear white to a wedding? ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/13 "2007-12-28T20:23:30Z")
I went to a wedding once where the mother of the groom wore a wedding dress: white satin sheathe with a floor length train. No way it was anything but a wedding dress for a slightly older woman in a sophisticated wedding. It was also obviously a much more expensive gown than what the bride was wearing (they were on a shoestring). She didn’t outshine the bride, though. She just made herself look creepy and pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/14 "2007-12-28T20:27:26Z")
[QUOTE=Manda JO] I went to a wedding once where the mother of the groom wore a wedding dress: white satin sheathe with a floor length train. No way it was anything but a wedding dress for a slightly older woman in a sophisticated wedding. It was also obviously a much more expensive gown than what the bride was wearing (they were on a shoestring). She didn’t outshine the bride, though. She just made herself look creepy and pathetic. [/QUOTE] Now that. Is weird. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/15 "2007-12-28T20:33:23Z")
[QUOTE=quid.lucrum.istic.mihi.est] Yes, you are wrong. But then almost all bridal lore is designed to make people snipe at their friends and relatives. Everybody should relax at a wedding, it’s a happy time not a trial. [/QUOTE] Hear, hear. Enough with the freakin’ rules. It’s a party. Just have fun! Love your step-daughter for joining you in your celebration. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/16 "2007-12-28T20:35:18Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] Traditional Asian weddings don’t include the color white, but nowadays most people have Western-style weddings anyway. [/QUOTE] See, this is why I hate the word “Asian” as a cultural/ethnic identifier. Could you please specify who these Asians are who are all having Western-style weddings? 'Cause the Asians I know are all having Hindu weddings. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/17 "2007-12-28T20:38:54Z")
[QUOTE=acsenray] See, this is why I hate the word “Asian” as a cultural/ethnic identifier. Could you please specify who these Asians are who are all having Western-style weddings? 'Cause the Asians I know are all having Hindu weddings. [/QUOTE] Sorry - I should have said East Asians (China, Japan, and Korea). And I said “most,” not all. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/18 "2007-12-28T20:38:49Z")
Sorry if this is a hijack, but it is somewhat tangential. How about a US Christian marriage where the mother of the groom wears a cream-colored dress? My wife is convinced that my mom dressed as she did in some way to display her displeasure - I don’t know exactly what with. My wife, the fact that we weren’t marrying in a catholic church, whatever. My mom is long dead, she was a bit of a bitch, and I have little interest in defending her actions against whatever manner my wife has chosen to interpret them. And I can’t even recall exactly what she was wearing. But I was just wondering if anyone had heard of this particular method of insult. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/19 "2007-12-28T20:47:57Z")
[QUOTE=Manda JO] She didn’t outshine the bride, though. She just made herself look creepy and pathetic. [/QUOTE] Yep. At my friend’s son’s wedding, friend’s ex-husband’s new wife (early 40’s) wore something long and strapless, cut very low in the back. Some women don’t handle aging all that well. ---
**Author:** ![Pixilated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aeb1de/32.png) [@Pixilated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixilated)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500/20 "2007-12-28T20:52:42Z")
Call me ol’ fashioned, I always thought it was impolite to wear white as a guest at a wedding. But I have seen in this day and age, that “rule of thumb” is so… 1900? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-a-white-dress-to-someone-elses-wedding/431500.md?page=2)