# Wearing engagement and wedding rings stacked on ring finger - new trend? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 10, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349 "2009-10-10T21:51:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/21 "2009-10-11T04:33:33Z")
My wife wears both together (married 9 years). My mother’s wedding band is sort of wide and slotted, so the engagement ring slides inside and they are worn together. She got it in 1966. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/22 "2009-10-11T05:03:15Z")
> [@supergoose](#): > > Doesn’t the meaning of a wedding ring make the meaning of an engagement ring obsolete, though? (married versus going to get married) It’s not like anyone is going to be confused as to your marital status if you’re wearing both rings at once. And try telling a woman that her beautiful diamond ring is “obsolete” so she can’t wear it anymore. Better still, tell the guy who spent two months’ salary on it. ---
**Author:** ![Snnipe\_70E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@Snnipe\_70E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snnipe_70E)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/23 "2009-10-11T05:42:23Z")
My Mom’s ring set was made to wear both at the same time and she was married in 1941. My wife wears both rings and some times also the ring she got on the 25th year. ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/24 "2009-10-11T05:50:26Z")
Totally standard, at least for the women I know in Northern California. I love my engagement ring and I intend to wear it every day for the rest of my life, along with my wedding band. I was told that women wear their wedding band lower (i.e. you put in on your finger first) because that puts it nearer the heart. ---
**Author:** ![rekkah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@rekkah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rekkah)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/25 "2009-10-11T11:17:49Z")
> [@supergoose](#): > > Doesn’t the meaning of a wedding ring make the meaning of an engagement ring obsolete, though? (married versus going to get married) My husband kept insisting (jokingly) that once we were married my engagement ring would be sold on ebay, since it was no longer necessary. As I told him many times, it’s a beautiful ring with great sentimental value. There is no way I would have only worn it for 2.5 years then stuffed it in a box (and our engagement was relatively long). I don’t think it’s tacky. I deliberately chose a small, plain wedding band because I didn’t want the two next to each other to be too big or blingy, especially as I have quite small hands. I also mentioned wanting a smallish engagement ring when he cunningly surreptitiously asked my opinions for the same reason. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/26 "2009-10-11T12:16:00Z")
Russians wear them on the right hand. As do members of other countries such as Colombia, Haiti, Denmark, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Mexico, Norway, Peru, Poland, Spain (except in Catalonia), Macedonia, Ukraine, Venezuela and Serbia. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/27 "2009-10-11T13:26:47Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > My mother’s wedding band is sort of wide and slotted, so the engagement ring slides inside and they are worn together. She got it in 1966. I remove my engagement ring only when I’m doing something messy, usually in the kitchen, but I discarded this idea because I didn’t want the wedding ring to look as if there was “something missing” when the engagement ring wasn’t there (I have it at the jeweler’s for a week once a year for cleaning and insurance reappraisal, too). But my mother-in-law wears only her engagement ring, and never her wedding ring, much to my father-in-law’s irritation. It’s a big honking diamond. She doesn’t claim that the band doesn’t fit, or give any reason at all. She just wears the diamond. I have never removed my wedding ring. I’m not one of those “you will have to cut it off my dead hand” people – I just leave it there. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/28 "2011-03-10T09:41:02Z")
> [@Hedda\_Rosa](#): > > Totally standard, at least for the women I know in Northern California. I love my engagement ring and I intend to wear it every day for the rest of my life, along with my wedding band. I was told that women wear their wedding band lower (i.e. you put in on your finger first) because that puts it nearer the heart. Seems like my wife is doing it wrong! 🙂 We both think it feels more natural to leave the engagement ring on and put the wedding ring on afterwards - that’s the order they went on, after all, and as **cerberus** says, it’s like the wedding ring “locks” the engagement ring in place. I had vaguely heard that the tradition is to do it the other way round, but that just seems wrong to me. Besides, my wife’s wedding ring is V-shaped so it fits round the stone on her engagement ring. I think it would look wrong if it was below it on her finger. (Of course that opens up the whole debate about which way round the “point” should face… seems we’ve got that backwards too!) ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/29 "2011-03-10T09:47:46Z")
I don’t wear my rings anymore but when I did, it was wedding ring first and then engagement ring further towards the tip. The reasoning is that the wedding band, once put on, should never be taken off but the engagement ring can be for reasons of hygiene or safety. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/30 "2011-03-10T10:12:15Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > the left ring finger is the traditional place for both engagement and wedding rings. Unless you’re Dutch, Norwegian or (I think) Danish. Then it’s the right (hand 😉 ) ring finger. ETA: > [@jabiru](#): > > the wedding band, once put on, should never be taken off I beg to differ. I take mine off every night (because my fingers swell up when I’m sleeping), or when I’m cooking, or when I’m hiking/camping, or… Well, you probably get my point. My wife keeps her on at night, but takes it off when it’s considered necessary, e.g. for hygienic reasons when she’s baking. I can’t see any good, rational reasons for _never_ taking it off. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/31 "2011-03-10T10:19:09Z")
My mother wore her wedding and engagement rings together, they were designed for it. They had a sort of zig-zag in the middle where the jewels were and fit together. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/32 "2011-03-10T10:56:19Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > I can’t see any good, rational reasons for _never_ taking it off. Well, it’s not a rule and I didn’t say it was rational. I know several women who’ve never taken off their wedding rings. My grandmothers, for instance, were both buried wearing theirs. It was just ‘the done thing’ - nothing rational about it. But, to those women who do think a wedding ring should never be taken off, wearing the engagement ring second makes more sense because that ring can be taken off without disturbing the wedding ring. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/33 "2011-03-10T11:08:18Z")
I thought this was how it was supposed to be done. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/34 "2011-03-10T11:31:24Z")
I’ve never taken off either my wedding or engagement rings for more than a minute or so. I’m a ditz, and they’re expensive. If they’re on my finger, they’re not somewhere down the back of the couch. That’s _my_ good rational reason. ---
**Author:** ![Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Romeo_and_Whatsherface)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/35 "2011-03-10T15:29:25Z")
I’m only surprised the OP didn’t notice this practice before now. It _i_s standard. I’ve never known any couples who put away the engagement ring after the wedding. For the vast majority of married couples, the engagement ring has great sentimental value. And God knows, they’re expensive enough that you wouldn’t want to just wear one for a few months until the actual wedding. I guess I’m having a hard time seeing how someone could be so pragmatic that they’d think of an engagement ring as merely a “reserved” sign that would get put away after the wedding. Maybe I’m missing something here. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/36 "2011-03-10T16:05:26Z")
> [@Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](#): > > And God knows, they’re expensive enough that you wouldn’t want to just wear one for a few months until the actual wedding. Good point. Engagement rings are (in my experience) much more expensive and fancy than wedding rings, so it would be a shame to swap the big rock for a plain old wedding band for the rest of your life. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/37 "2011-03-10T16:10:35Z")
We have a wedding section? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/38 "2011-03-10T16:14:52Z")
My mother always wore both rings, married in 1970. My dad, on the other hand, never wore his wedding band. He worked with his hands for the railroad for 30 years and a wedding band would have been a major safety hazard. Hell, I don’t even know where his wedding band _went_ after he died. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/39 "2011-03-10T16:27:50Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > My mother always wore both rings, married in 1970. > > My dad, on the other hand, never wore his wedding band. He worked with his hands for the railroad for 30 years and a wedding band would have been a major safety hazard. Hell, I don’t even know where his wedding band _went_ after he died. My husband is like that. People out in public will call him on it sometimes (just to be clear, these are people who don’t know us, and don’t know that he works in a machine shop) and say how he’s “Not romantic” or that I should know that’s a common sign that “he isn’t actually in love any more.” My response is that I never thought severed and pulverized fingers were romantic, but I’ll be sure to let \*their \*husbands/boyfriends know what’s expected of them. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349/40 "2011-03-10T17:00:55Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > We have a wedding section? Yes, but it is infested with zombies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wearing-engagement-and-wedding-rings-stacked-on-ring-finger-new-trend/513349.md?page=3)