# Weather euphemisms. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 9, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099 "2003-03-09T16:50:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/1 "2003-03-09T16:50:54Z")
Some of you may find this hard to believe, but I’m a pretty boring guy. Dry as dust, in fact. People have actually fallen asleep listening to me talk. In the middle of Aerosmith concerts. I need to add some color to my language, if only to prevent head injuries to innocent victims who pass out and fall into solid objects when I speak to them. So, I’m turning to my fellow Dopers for help. I figure we need to start slow, because I realize that I can’t become interesting overnight. What are some of the colorful phrases people use to describe the weather in your neck of the woods? Around here I get: “Colder than a well-digger’s ankle,” and the similar but not for mixed company “colder than a witch’s \.” On a hot summer day I also heard “I feel like the sun’s anvil.” See, I told you I was dull. Can I get a little help, here? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/2 "2003-03-09T16:53:18Z")
“Hot enough to breed sheep!” I never quite knew what that meant, but I kind of like it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/3 "2003-03-09T17:07:29Z")
How about: “Hot as a half-fucked fox in a forest fire”? ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/4 "2003-03-09T18:54:03Z")
There are several good ones in the [colloquialisms thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=150345). 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/5 "2003-03-09T19:08:57Z")
Great. Not only am I boring, I’m also redundant. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/6 "2003-03-09T19:25:13Z")
Silly !!! Not redundant in a bad way, redundant in a _good_ way !! Like those bridges we studied in Structures I !! I only meant to show you that thread 'cause it has some really neat sayings in it. Please carry on here. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/7 "2003-03-09T19:40:54Z")
I like “not a fit night,” or “fit for neither man nor beast.” Not very racy, but they have a nice, sonorous, Shakespearian/King-Jamesey roll to them. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/8 "2003-03-09T20:31:43Z")
Alright, no real addition, but this thread made me think of that old story of the history and usage of the word “fuck”, with many example quotes from throughout history. One of them read: > [@](#): > > _“Scattered fucking showers, my ass!”_ > – **Noah** Well, it cracked _me_ up, anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cleops](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@cleops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleops)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/9 "2003-03-09T23:08:30Z")
Colder’n a witch’s tit in a brass brassiere. Colder than a stepmother’s breast. ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/10 "2003-03-09T23:21:08Z")
Raining cats and dogs, tipping down, pissing down, spitting Lazy wind [it goes through you rather than make it’s way 'round you] Soft day [I think that means fog, but not sure] Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, cold as a whore’s heart Sun’s splitting the trees/pavement ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/11 "2003-03-09T23:38:35Z")
You’d think Canadian language would be full of such euphemisms, but all I ever hear are variations on “damn its cold” or “damn its hot” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Pelleas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e8c25b/32.png) [@Pelleas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pelleas)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/12 "2003-03-10T02:36:42Z")
In Texas we frequently refer to a heavy rain as a frog strangler. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/13 "2003-03-10T02:51:15Z")
I remember seeing an old tape of David Letterman waaaay back when he was a TV weatherman. In it he referred to hailstones “the size of canned hams!” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/14 "2003-03-10T02:51:15Z")
So cold that dogs are freezin to the hydrants. Rainin like a tall cow pissin on a flat rock. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/15 "2003-03-10T03:09:55Z")
Said of a cold windy day: There ain’t nuttin between here ‘n’ the north pole but a couple of mesquite trees and a barbed wire fence. (just to add some more color) And the fence needs fixin’ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/16 "2003-03-10T03:16:12Z")
“This’ll freeze a toad’s ass to a lillypad.” I’m not sure it’ll inspire many sonnets, butt it does have a certain lyrical quality. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/17 "2003-03-10T04:02:49Z")
I’ve heard the cow/rock thing around here too, but it didn’t include the word “tall.” Dairy cows aren’t really tall. They’re mostly just heavy. And dumb. The only thing dumber than a cow is a sheep. Unless it’s a certain 14 year old kid who volunteered to shovel out a barn that really needed it. It’s nice to see you and your butt-fixation, **lieu**. I like that one, but wouldn’t a frog be hibernating in the mud if it got that cold? How about one that starts with “cold enough in **lieu** ’s bathroom too…”? I just remembered another one: “Hot enough to make a turnip sweat.” Like **Jack Batty** ’s entry, I don’t get it, but I like it. ---
**Author:** ![SojournerSamson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SojournerSamson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SojournerSamson)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/18 "2003-03-10T04:48:35Z")
Drier than Carrie Nation’s gullet. ---
**Author:** ![Pelleas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e8c25b/32.png) [@Pelleas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pelleas)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/19 "2003-03-10T14:51:15Z")
Another euphemism for heavy rain is gulley washer. ---
**Author:** ![Pelleas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e8c25b/32.png) [@Pelleas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pelleas)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099/20 "2003-03-10T14:53:52Z")
:smack: There’s no “e” in gulley. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weather-euphemisms/160099.md?page=2)