# Website Against Masturbation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635 "2000-09-26T18:04:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Toolie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Toolie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toolie)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/1 "2000-09-26T18:04:21Z")
[http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680](http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680) this is either the by-product of some extremely messed up communists or a very good joke!!! ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/2 "2000-09-26T18:16:58Z")
If it is a joke it is not a very good one. After all, all I have is the internet and the subject of this thread. What ever would I do if they took away my favorite pastime? :D:D Good grief, I need a woman. :D:D ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/3 "2000-09-26T18:40:07Z")
I believe that this site is equivalent to a troll, but in this context it’s much less obnoxious. Actually, now I think of it, it’s probably a much healthier outlet for a troll than a message board. It’s not messing up some place the reader intends to spend a lot of time anyway, and it’s good for a chuckle to see all the angry people’s replies. Since it isn’t a 2-way forum (not nearly as much as a message board), it’s relatively harmless. I’d compare it with the [Landover Baptist Church](http://www.landoverbaptist.org/) website, except it’s less subtle and has no disclaimer (that I can find, anyway). ~~Baloo ---
**Author:** ![flup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d07c76/32.png) [@flup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flup)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/4 "2000-09-27T04:39:10Z")
Damn. I thought I knew funny. Help Jesus stop the release of this movie! Genius! Presumptuous, perhaps, but I gotta admit I said the same thing about Ace Ventura II. And I love the demon catalog: Satan, the Pope, Jar Jar Binks, and Al Gore. “What do these men have in common?” And I don’t know abou the rest of you, but I gotta get me one of those UNSAVED shirts. As for the masturbation website, it’s not quite communist, but almost as bad: it’s catholic. Trust me, I know. –flup us not into temptation ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/5 "2000-09-27T04:47:08Z")
It IS a joke. After I saw it last week - even though I thought it was a joke - I took it upon myself to fight ignorance and wrote a rather long email that questioned many of the statements found there. I disputed some, asked for references for others, debated the biblical interpretations of Onanism, commented on the social nature of masturbation and the reluctance of people to discuss it openly (social stigmas) blah blah blah. It was quite a rant that never quite qualified as hate mail. I received a very brief email back citing “comedic license” as their reference. _sigh_ All that effort. ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/6 "2000-09-27T04:52:00Z")
Ummm… pasits masturbate often? Wouldn’t it be the other way around? If they masturbate at least they get rid of the urge for a while, thus encouraging them not to rape people. The guys that are frustrated and aren’t getting any have more reason to rape someone. Of course they’d have to be pretty stupid and deranged too but that’s another story. Kitty ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/7 "2000-09-27T04:53:54Z")
_curses herself for not previewing post_ Well dpr, at least you were in the spirit of fighting ignorance, you didn’t know it was a sad attempt at humor. Kitty oh and I meant to type rapists, I’m a bit short on sleep and my typing is suffering ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/8 "2000-09-27T05:49:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dpr \* > \*\*It IS a joke. > > After I saw it last week - even though I thought it was a joke - I took it upon myself to fight ignorance and wrote a rather long email that questioned many of the statements found there. I disputed some, asked for references for others, debated the biblical interpretations of Onanism, commented on the social nature of masturbation and the reluctance of people to discuss it openly (social stigmas) blah blah blah. > > It was quite a rant that never quite qualified as hate mail. I received a very brief email back citing “comedic license” as their reference. > _sigh_ All that effort. \*\* I have to agree to it’s being a joke. If you look at the links page you will see one for the fight agianst Dihydrogen Monoxide. This kind of gives it away. And dpr? Think of it as practice. I mean you wouldn’t want to lose your edge now would you? I think not. ---
**Author:** ![mmmahar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@mmmahar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmahar)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/9 "2000-09-27T10:50:56Z")
They forgot to list hairy palms as one of the medical ailments caused by masturbation. -mmmahar the wookie ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/10 "2000-09-27T11:05:24Z")
Wwhjat? Masturbastioon is bad for you? (ddamn it harrd to tyope with ione hand…) ---
**Author:** ![crispix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@crispix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crispix)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/website-against-masturbation/34635/11 "2000-09-28T02:28:43Z")
[If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to Masturbate.] This is perhaps the most classic of classics! What? Is somebody going to call FDA and say, “Please recommend to farmers that they have to pre-slice their carrots before they ship them out, we don’t want women masturbating.” And the FDa will say, “Hell, all our wives masturbate and we don’t give a #%&\*@” -crispix fears his roomate due to making jokes about jesus