# Wedding advice needed II: Gifts to the attendants. Moi - stay out of this thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463 "2011-09-24T16:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/1 "2011-09-24T16:04:02Z")
So, like I said in [thread the first](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=625482), I’m getting married in two weeks. Everything’s basically settled, except tips (previous thread) and gifts. Sorry for the weird title. Our own **moi** is one of my attendants, and it wouldn’t do for her to know her gift in advance. I have plans for the bridal attendants, mostly consumables (most of which I’ve figured out), and one “forever” thing each. I have the “forever” thing figured out for **moi** , but not for my sister. Of course, if someone suggests something awesome that could work for **moi** too, I will go that route instead. I’m planning on a token set of consumables for the groomsmen as well, though not to the degree as for my attendants. Basically, everyone who is attending us at the wedding will get a homemade jar of blueberry syrup & of rum peaches. My attendants are, on top of that, getting some hand-carved beeswax candles & some bath stuff from Lush. I wouldn’t mind supplementing with yet more, but I do want to keep it consumable. Both of them have plenty of stuff, and prefer not to be crowded with yet more that the “have to” keep. But I just have no idea what to get my sister. We’re really rather different in personality, and at wildly different stages in our life. My mother suggested a nice frame to be filled with a wedding photo of us. I may do that, but I’m wondering if there’s something more fabulous out there. For the groomsmen, it’s even more of a pickle. My groom figured out a Monteblanc pen would be GREAT for one of them, though it’s more money than we were originally thinking of spending. However, because he would love it so much (and never buy it for himself), it’s probably worth it. The other groomsman, though, wouldn’t care. And my guy doesn’t want to spend disproportionately on the two men. We are also leaning away from things like flasks, steins and so on. We’d prefer the gifts not to be alcohol-related. Any suggestions? ETA: I just realized we maybe should be getting something for our officiant. He’s a friend, not a “professional”. However, we are flying him to the wedding destination (it’s a destination for us & him, but not most of the guests) and covering his hotel costs. I would imagine a small something might be in order, but that we don’t need to do a big thing for him. Correct? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/2 "2011-09-24T16:22:35Z")
What’s a “moi”? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/3 "2011-09-24T16:28:38Z")
I’m guessing moi is someone’s username. ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/4 "2011-09-24T16:43:23Z")
Yes, **moi** is a user here. Her name is too short to be searched out, I think. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/5 "2011-09-24T17:49:06Z")
For the other groomsman: would a personalized gift set of knives be handy? We got [these](http://www.thingsremembered.com/product/Gift-Categories/Mens-Accessories/Pocket-Knives/Three-Piece-Knife-Set/pc/122/c/3063/sc/2698/157370.uts) from Things Remembered for our groomsmen, and it worked really well for at least two out of the three. As for your sister: do you know about anything that she likes? Is she in need of anything that’d be extra special? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/6 "2011-09-24T18:03:09Z")
> [@BlueKangaroo](#): > > Yes, **moi** is a user here. Her name is too short to be searched out, I think. If you use advanced search and search by username, you can find her posts. Congrats on the wedding, BTW! ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/7 "2011-09-24T18:35:53Z")
Thank you, **IvoryTowerDenizen**! Knives are actually a great idea for the second groomsman, **nashiitashii**. I’m going to pass that suggestion on. I know a few things about what my sister likes, but honestly not as much as I’d like to or “should”, but I don’t know if she needs anything that’d be extra special. I don’t, for example, know any of her hobbies. We talk reasonably often, but it ends up mostly being about her kids, her husband, my guy and general life. A lot of my past gifts to her involve skulls & jokey things like that, and she loves them. (I once got her skull & crossbone ice trays - she loved it.) I associate that sort of imagery with her enough that once bought a t-shirt with a skull on it because it made me think of her, and I do every time I wear it. Somehow, though, that doesn’t seem about right for this. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/8 "2011-09-24T19:34:05Z")
Would your sister like something like a gift certificate for a massage or a manicure? There are places where you can buy GCs good at spas around the country. I used [Spa Finder](http://www.spafinder.com/) for an out of state Bridesmaid (after checking that several spas in her area accept the GCs). ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/9 "2011-09-24T20:32:41Z")
That might be a good idea, **Hello Again** , and I’ll definitely look into it. I think she might appreciate it more than the bath things I got her, honestly. Luckily, if spa finder doesn’t work for me, the wedding is being held where she is, so I can find a place there for her. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/10 "2011-09-26T15:40:43Z")
Edible gifts are awesome, and I don’t think you need to do much more than that for your attendants. Maybe something special for your sister would be nice… do you have a favorite childhood photo of the two of you? My sister and I recreated that photo (more or less) at the wedding, with us all grown up, and I gave her a double frame to hold the old and new versions together. ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/11 "2011-09-26T21:23:11Z")
Thanks here too, **Antigen**. I love the photo idea, but I can actually only think of one photo of us together at all. It’s not one to recreate. For one thing, the pose in that photo depends on her being smaller than me, and she’s taller than me these days! ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/12 "2011-09-26T21:29:41Z")
> [@BlueKangaroo](#): > > Thanks here too, **Antigen**. > > I love the photo idea, but I can actually only think of one photo of us together at all. It’s not one to recreate. For one thing, the pose in that photo depends on her being smaller than me, and she’s taller than me these days! So swap roles. It would still make a great combination. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/13 "2011-09-26T22:05:05Z")
> [@BlueKangaroo](#): > > Thank you, **IvoryTowerDenizen**! > > Knives are actually a great idea for the second groomsman, **nashiitashii**. I’m going to pass that suggestion on. > > I know a few things about what my sister likes, but honestly not as much as I’d like to or “should”, but I don’t know if she needs anything that’d be extra special. I don’t, for example, know any of her hobbies. We talk reasonably often, but it ends up mostly being about her kids, her husband, my guy and general life. > > A lot of my past gifts to her involve skulls & jokey things like that, and she loves them. (I once got her skull & crossbone ice trays - she loved it.) I associate that sort of imagery with her enough that once bought a t-shirt with a skull on it because it made me think of her, and I do every time I wear it. Somehow, though, that doesn’t seem about right for this. So you’re saying that something like [this](http://www.amazon.com/Sitting-Skeleton-Couple-Figurine-Decoration/dp/B005EOAPSY) would be amiss? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/14 "2011-09-26T22:38:50Z")
**ENugent** , that’s a great suggestion, though I think I’m not enough smaller than her for it. However, it’s a possibility! I’ll have to dig up the photo & think about if we can do it. I love that **nashiitashii**! Maybe that’s great. I wish I’d seen that before she got married. It would have made an excellent wedding gift for her & her husband. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/15 "2011-09-27T12:56:55Z")
Can’t go wrong with jewelry. ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/16 "2011-09-27T13:19:49Z")
I’ve seriously considered jewelry, yeah. I do worry about knowing her taste properly, but I think she’d appreciate almost anything I get her. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/17 "2011-09-27T14:03:29Z")
> [@BlueKangaroo](#): > > I’ve seriously considered jewelry, yeah. I do worry about knowing her taste properly, but I think she’d appreciate almost anything I get her. I’m sure she’d “appreciate” any gift – assuming she’s a gracious and appreciative person! But I personally feel it is VERY easy to go wrong with jewelry. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/18 "2011-09-27T14:55:18Z")
> [@BlueKangaroo](#): > > So, like I said in [thread the first](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=625482), I’m getting married in two weeks. Everything’s basically settled, except tips (previous thread) and gifts. ? !! Mazal tov, Blue Kangaroo! ETA: [**moi**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php) ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/19 "2011-09-27T20:44:22Z")
Thank you, **Scuba\_Ben**! How is married life treating you? **Hello Again** , you’ve hit my concern for jewelry. Yes, she’ll appreciate it, but will she wear it & like it? Gifts are hard. They mean so much, yet feel like they can go wrong so easily. ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463/20 "2011-09-28T01:31:04Z")
> [@BlueKangaroo](#): > > A lot of my past gifts to her involve skulls & jokey things like that, and she loves them. (I once got her skull & crossbone ice trays - she loved it.) I associate that sort of imagery with her enough that once bought a t-shirt with a skull on it because it made me think of her, and I do every time I wear it. Somehow, though, that doesn’t seem about right for this. I love the stuff from this etsy seller and it seems like it might be fun, functional and around for awhile. Congrats on the marriage!! [http://www.etsy.com/shop/foldedpigs](http://www.etsy.com/shop/foldedpigs) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-advice-needed-ii-gifts-to-the-attendants-moi-stay-out-of-this-thread/597463.md?page=2)