I remember at a family wedding my cousin, who was only about, 8 or 9, caught the garter. The DJ debated with the crowd if we should let him put it on her, or not. They finally said okay, if he just slipped it over her ankle. He pushed it just over her knee. The girl was blushing, but she laughed about it and I think she gave him a hug or something. It was really cute.
Oh boy have I seen a lot of mess when it comes to wedding cake! But then I am a wedding photographer and have been to more weddings than most. It is done by all types of people from all economic groups. It is always awful and mean and makes at least one of the newly weds unhappy. I can tell you it means trouble in the marriage, big time!
Take today as an example. They were both very young but seemed nice and in love. She feed him a bit of cake then he smeered her face with cake! She turned red almost cried and I felt sorry for her until she grabed a fistful of icing from the cake and threw it in his face!!! She was mad as hell and he will have lots of begging to do tonight!
I give the marriage a year.
I put frosting on my husband’s nose. Then I licked it off. We’ve been married for 15 years. It’s the licking, I think.
My EXhusband didn’t smear my face with the cake, but he
did try to poke his finger down my throat! Did I mention he was my ex?
Stellablue writes:
> I can tell you it means trouble in the marriage, big
> time!
I agree. Shoving a piece of cake in someone’s face is playing a power game. It’s saying, “I can’t be bothered to follow the scenario for the wedding reception the way it was planned. I’m showing I’m superior to you because I can violate the rules and get away with it. You have to accept my obnoxious behavior and laugh at it or I’ll accuse you of having no sense of humor.”
This was at my sister in law’s wedding
I’ve never seen it happen. But I’ll tell you that I don’t think I’d want to marry someone who couldn’t accept a little cake on their face. Ruining the dress is one thing, but smudging a bit of make-up? C’mon. Are she expecting to keep her Clairol on forever? What does she think is going to happen on the honeymoon?
And to those that think it’s a powertrip…I thumb my nose at thee and say “pshaw!” If neither one cares about getting icing and flour on their face, well they’re both concenting adults and this is their day. They can do whatever they damn well please.
Like I said, it all depends. With my aunt and uncle, it was an informal party, and trust me, in my family, this is kid’s stuff. When you have an uncle who is famous for having takin a dump right behind Three Rivers Stadium-in full view of everyone across the river, well, you kinda don’t mind a little bit of a cake fight.
I think a little bit of cake around the mouth is okay. Just keep it in moderation.
Opal, I think that link is busted. Can you fix it up for us?
I’m going to be attending a wedding next weekend ("we want you to wear your hair down, because it’s a non-denominational wedding and we’d like to have a physical reminder of Jesus hanging around and drinking beer–I have to wear a bowtie for this?). I know the woman well, the man not so well. The cake thing is something to which I will now pay close attention.
Yup. That’s why I made d*mn sure I got a little on my wife’s nose and chin after she introduced my sinuses to the experience of buttercreme. She had a deathgrip on my wrist, and she’s very strong, but I made sure I got some (just a little) on her, to make the point that, strong as she is, I’m just a bit stronger, but I’ve also got restraint, and no need for pay-back. Let me tell you, to this day, noone in the family saw the bruises on my wrist. They thought Mrs. Tranq just let me dab her nose and chin. She was appalled when the bruises came to the surface later that night. She’s never challenged me in that way since, and 9 years later, we’re strong as ever together: We each know how tough the other is, and have a lot of respect for each other.
I’d think by the time you marry someone, you should know whether or not you can pull crap like this. Personally, I think the dabbing-cake-on-the-nose thing is too cutesy. I hope my husband gets cake all over my face. 
That’s just my opinion, though.
It happened at mine. We didn’t stain any close, but I did get it in my wife’s hair. I swore that she was going to smear me and I wasn’t going to let her do it to me first. So I did a preemptive strike. She was a split second behind me. To this day she says that she wasn’t go to through cake into my face, but she can’t fool me. In the wedding pic. It shows her ready to strike. If I had hesitated for just a moment, well I wouldn’t be here telling you this story (it would probably be a different story). My point, every one had a good laff and there was no permanent damage.
It never occurred to us to do such a demeaning thing to each other on the most special day of our lives.
Marriage is not about power plays but about partnership and mutual respect. For those of you who have bragged here about how your spouse now knows not to mess with you, congratulations. You’ve instilled just enough fear to make your partner think twice.
For those of you who think such hijinks are comical, well, OK, you get a pass, I guess. I don’t think it’s right of me to judge someone else’s sense of humor unless it involves cruelty. And I don’t think this qualifies as cruelty if you both thought it was funny.
Mrs. Dave-Guy and I prefer to keep our marriage (19 years in June) based on the fact that we can each count on the other for support, not on the uneasy feeling that the other just may cross us up when we least expect it.
Two weeks ago we were at a wedding, and this came up. One of the couples at our table said they were once at a wedding where the groom smashed cake on the bride and she got furious. They had a fight and she left the reception in a huge huff. He followed her and they were gone for more than an hour. I don’t think they were having an early wedding night, either. The couple said it was really awkward (everyone at the reception witnessed the fight) and it took the DJ a while to get things moving again after the fight. Ugly.
You wonder if some of the worst smashing results comes from people trying evasive action. Duck, and it gets in your hair, even if Your Loving Spouse didn’t mean to mess up your coif.
I’ve seen it so often it’s cliched. There is nothing funny left to it, if there ever was.
My brother got married a few weeks ago, and he and his wife didn’t grind the cake into each other’s faces. I knew that they wouldn’t do it, because they have so much respect for one another. I’m glad that they didn’t grind the cake in, because it was a beautiful reception and such a vulgar gesture would have spoiled it.
I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only person who’s tired of “Please God, I’m Only Seventeen.” I found it heart-rending the first time I read it, but now it’s old hat. I’ve always wondered: What happened to the old lady who was involved in the car accident caused by the teen?
I’ve never even seen the mutual cake feeding - either I’m not going to enough weddings, or it’s not a custom over here in the UK.
I have had cake pushed in my face by an idiot at a friend’s 21st birthday party. I maturely responded by throwing my cup of (still hot, oops!;)) tea over him. The only thing I regret is not seeing the expression on his face when it hit him…(I’ve always wanted to do that to someone), so I don’t think the cake thing would go down well with me.
I think it started when camcorders came on the market. The cake feeding ritual was already established by that time, but the presence of a camera inspired people to start mugging, as they wouldn’t otherwise have done.
AL once printed a letter from someone purporting to “interpret” this alleged ritual, as if it were an ancient tradition. Not! It’s just stupid, childish playing that should have gone out of style along with America’s Funniest Home Videos; no Freudian symbolism.
I agree with people who have already speculated that this has become prevalent because of AL’s making sure it stays in the collective conscious (unconscious?). My mother didn’t plan my wedding, but I remember when I was discussing it with her, she urgently asked, “You’re not going to do that dumb cake-smashing thing, are you?” I said, “Even if we were that crude, it’s not original any more and it was never funny.”
What Philster said about Ann Landers times two