# Wedding etiquette question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 14, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426 "2010-05-14T14:03:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/1 "2010-05-14T14:03:57Z")
Dopers, A good friend of mine is a bridesmaid in a wedding coming up soon. She is really good friends with the bride, but is wondering if it would be tacky to get the bride a Target gift card (the gift card is on the registry). Could any of you etiquette experts weigh in on this? Thank you so much for your input! ---
**Author:** ![breaking-reality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a8b319/32.png) [@breaking-reality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breaking-reality)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/2 "2010-05-14T14:13:57Z")
If she gets the giftcard, I would recommend she pair it with a personal note/card, and possibly a small but personal gift. Personally, I wouldn’t be offended at all, because the gift card means I can buy what I actually want and no have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings returning something. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/3 "2010-05-14T14:22:00Z")
If it was on the registry…it’s fine. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/4 "2010-05-14T14:24:40Z")
> [@breaking-reality](#): > > If she gets the giftcard, I would recommend she pair it with a personal note/card, and possibly a small but personal gift. > > Personally, I wouldn’t be offended at all, because the gift card means I can buy what I actually want and no have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings returning something. This is good. It wouldn’t be wrong to just get the gift card, though. It’s on the registry, so she wants it and will use it! ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/5 "2010-05-14T14:55:48Z")
I don’t usually bother with gift cards; I usually give cash, and always it’s a nice, fresh $100 bill (especially if I know there’s going to be an open bar at the reception!). ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/6 "2010-05-14T15:07:11Z")
I think that’s fine, just put it in a card with a nice note. As a bridesmaid you have dozens of opportunities to, you know, express your sincere joy and excitement for the couple, you don’t need to do it again with a creative gift. If it’s a shower gift then I think it’s nice to include something small to unwrap, but I think that’s just my thing, plenty of people around here just bring cards (with something inside) to showers. ---
**Author:** ![Wakinyan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wakinyan/32/352_2.png) [@Wakinyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wakinyan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/7 "2010-05-14T15:07:37Z")
We gave the (female) toast master at our wedding a gift card to a jewelry store, and the cool thing was that it came in a nice little box in the form of a small gold bar. I thought it was rather an elegant gift, being a “gift card”. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/8 "2010-05-14T15:10:34Z")
A gift card is always fine, if she’s asked for it. I would include a heartfelt note to the bride – that will mean more than any particular gift. JMHO (married Sept 2008, got a Trader Joes GC from my Maid-of-honor and a card that made me cry). ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/9 "2010-05-14T15:11:45Z")
I gave my brother cash. No cards or crying was involved. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/10 "2010-05-14T20:38:21Z")
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving a gift card. I do know that some stores will automatically include a gift card on any registry listing, and I think Target is one of them. But even if they didn’t consciously register for it, no doubt they will be able to use it. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/11 "2010-05-14T20:44:16Z")
I loooooooved getting gift cards for my wedding. The best was from my co-workers. They all chipped in and got me one for almost $200 for Linen-n-Things. Being the clearance/sale diva that I am - I walked out with a lot of cool stuff. A month after I got married, it was my birthday. I gathered up all the gift cards (including a few restaurant cards), a couple of returns (can you believe I got 2 trifle bowls??), and spent the entire day shopping. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-etiquette-question/539426/12 "2010-05-14T21:06:18Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > If it was on the registry…it’s fine. There’s no need to think beyond this. \*\*breaking-reality’s \*\* suggestion of a nice card and small gift is excellent, but there’s no need to worry about something that’s on the registry.