# Wedding gift for a conceited, materialistic blowhard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 2, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379 "2011-10-02T22:18:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Merejane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@Merejane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merejane)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/21 "2011-10-03T00:41:24Z")
Are they registered somewhere? I would just go look at the online registry and buy something within my budget. Of course that only works if they have at least one item on the registry for $50 or less, but so far I have always found that wedding registries do have those items. If not, I like the idea of the gourmet jellybeans, or something similar. ETA: I also like the idea of a Trader Joe’s gift certificate, if there is a TJ’s store in their area. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/22 "2011-10-03T01:05:54Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > Or get them a [Festivus pole](http://festivusweb.com/festivus-pole.htm). It has a very high strength to weight ratio. Then you could air your grievances to them directly without committing a social faux pas. The OP didn’t mention the religious affiliation of the couple. As it turns out, not everyone celebrates Festivus, and it might offend someone. So I heartily endorse this suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![mariposalabrown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@mariposalabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mariposalabrown)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/23 "2011-10-03T01:55:39Z")
Even if you can’t afford anything on their registry, just buy a gift card for the store in whatever price you want to give. That is what I have done for every wedding I have been to, and what everyone did for my recent wedding. Hello Kitchenaid mixer! ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/24 "2011-10-03T02:01:16Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Get him a gift card for a chain restaurant, like Outback or Appelbee’s, in an amount you can afford. Or Cabela’s. They’ve got gift cards, then he can spend it on the next hunting/fishing thing he wants. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/25 "2011-10-03T02:09:36Z")
It seemed like a simple gift at the time but the best wedding gift we got was a jumbo sized beach towel, the kind that a whole family can picnic on and there’s room for everyone on it at the beach. It was probably 6ftx6ft. I don’t know where it went, it’s been missing for a year. We’ve been married 25 years and regularly used it all the time until it’s disappearance. The only thing that would have been better is a tote bag it fit in and the beach towel. This time of year you could probably find somethinbg like this on clearance. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/26 "2011-10-03T02:23:27Z")
Go to a used book store (if the Half-Price book chain is in your area this is an excellent source) and look for a nice coffee table book on fishing or wildlife. Often you can find these in new condition for a fraction of the price they would cost at a regular bookstore. If you are feeling particularly soulless have the book “autographed” for the groom with a special message. Tell him you had to stand in line for hours to get that done. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/27 "2011-10-03T02:56:44Z")
Thinking that they’re about to embark on a honeymoon , what about a stack of high-end photo paper or a GC to snapfish or some online photo printer? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/28 "2011-10-03T03:07:21Z")
I’d start with the registry and get something I can afford from it. If you can’t afford anything on the registry, then it’s time to get creative. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/29 "2011-10-03T03:12:23Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Thinking that they’re about to embark on a honeymoon , what about a stack of high-end photo paper or a GC to snapfish or some online photo printer? LOL. When I first read this I thought you were talking about, uh, less touristy honeymoon pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/30 "2011-10-03T03:13:54Z")
Did he give you a gift at your wedding? Ask your parents if they made a list of who gave you what. My parents kept a list like that, partially for sending out thank yous but it’s always been a tradition in my family (my father’s side) to make it easier to reciprocate for when those people (or their children) got married. Of course, if they got you a $200 framed picture, that’s not going to help, but if they got you a $25 gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond, well, then you’ll know exactly what to spend on them. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/31 "2011-10-03T04:24:38Z")
> [@amarinth](#): > > Or Cabela’s. They’ve got gift cards, then he can spend it on the next hunting/fishing thing he wants. I thought about that, but wedding gifts are probably supposed to be something for the couple, not just the guy. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/32 "2011-10-03T04:28:32Z")
Someone who is that materialistic is someone you really can’t buy something monetarily noteworthy for. So…don’t. Figure out something personal and inexpensive, that he would be a total ass to put down as being inferior. You’ve known him a long time, it seems…do you have any good pictures of him and his fiancee? Even better if it’s unusual or weird? Find a nice frame and voila. Even better if you have multiple, potentially embarassing shots. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/33 "2011-10-03T12:52:27Z")
A monogrammed mirror ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/34 "2011-10-03T13:08:14Z")
Give him a big jar of your bile. You seem to have plenty to spare. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/35 "2011-10-03T14:09:08Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > First of all aren’t they registered somewhere? Seriously, it took 18 replies before this one popped up. Look on his registry. Find something under $50. Buy it. Stop worrying. In the event that his registry has nothing under $50 you still don’t need to worry. He’s an ass. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/36 "2011-10-03T14:09:19Z")
My standard wedding gift: Go buy a picnic basket. (I like World Market for this sort of thing.) Throw a bottle of wine in it, or a bottle each of white and red. I like to throw in a couple of glasses or a wine carafe. Then I find sample sizes to include: crackers, cheese, sausages, cookies, spreads, etc. If I really like the couple and know a bit about their musical tastes, I will also make a playlist and burn a CD to include. There. You’ve given the happy couple their first picnic date. Screw 'em if they don’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/37 "2011-10-03T14:16:07Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > LOL. When I first read this I thought you were talking about, uh, less touristy honeymoon pictures. Heh, with that in mind, _both_ premium paper for private printing and a snapfish GC for showing the relatives. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/38 "2011-10-03T14:21:35Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > First of all aren’t they registered somewhere? > Second of all, are you married? If so, do you remember who DIDN’T give you a gift? I know I don’t. If you don’t have the money to buy a gift then YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO BUY ONE. Yeah I would just get something they registered for, or put money in a card. I know from experience that people do notice if a gift is missing, if only to keep track of sending out thank you cards. But how you feel about that is up to you. But in any case, don’t spend a lot of time worrying about this. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/39 "2011-10-03T17:05:06Z")
There are things (like fishing poles) where the “high end” is $1,000 or more. There are others where you can go seriously top-of-the-line for $50 or less. Do they cook? Pick up $50 or so of a very expensive spice and include a recipe for how to use it. Do they drink coffee or tea? Go to a gourmet shop and ask for advice in picking some. There are some amazing teas that they may not have tried. Get something obscure, but cool, like a brick of vintage pu-erh, a few ounces of the brand-new [purple tea](http://garyrobson.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/kenya-will-be-growing-purple-tea/) from Kenya. Don’t try to go high-end with something like wine or whiskey – it’s way too expensive and the aficionados don’t agree on what’s best anyway. Pick something from a local winery, or a brand-new distillery they’ve never heard of. If they are beer drinkers, a six-pack would probably be viewed as cheap no matter what it was, but a bottle or two of 30-year [Ola Dubh](http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/harviestoun-ola-dubh-30-year-old/84059/) would be unique and cool – especially if packed in a nice basket with a bit of cool aged cheese. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/40 "2011-10-03T17:16:48Z")
Get to a second hand store and look for a nice wool blanket, maybe with a manly plaid on it. Don’t worry if it’s got stains, or a hole in it, you’re not going to need very much of it! Pick up a man’s suit vest, your friend’s size, in a complimentary colour, while you’re there. Take them to anyone you know who’s a home sewer and have them combined, (really not too hard), (vest on the inside, blanket on the outside), into a lovely, hand made fishing vest. It won’t cost much, out of pocket, (especially if you know someone who sews!), will be appreciated, no chance he’ll get another. Make sure to put a tag on specifying it’s ‘hand made to order’, that’s sure to impress him. Maybe get an expensive looking box. Top it up, if you like, with lures, hooks, flashlight, hat, whatever you like or can afford. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379.md?page=3)