# Wedding gift for a conceited, materialistic blowhard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 2, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379 "2011-10-02T22:18:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/41 "2011-10-03T17:30:54Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Get to a second hand store and look for a nice wool blanket, maybe with a manly plaid on it. Don’t worry if it’s got stains, or a hole in it, you’re not going to need very much of it! Pick up a man’s suit vest, your friend’s size, in a complimentary colour, while you’re there. Take them to anyone you know who’s a home sewer and have them combined, (really not too hard), (vest on the inside, blanket on the outside), into a lovely, hand made fishing vest. > > It won’t cost much, out of pocket, (especially if you know someone who sews!), will be appreciated, no chance he’ll get another. Make sure to put a tag on specifying it’s ‘hand made to order’, that’s sure to impress him. Maybe get an expensive looking box. > > Top it up, if you like, with lures, hooks, flashlight, hat, whatever you like or can afford. Am I the only person who thinks getting (or making) a gift _ONLY_ for one half of the wedding party is a bit rude? I mean, I really like Anthropologie, but I think I would have found it rather odd if one of my wedding guests had purchased a sweater or something for me from there as a gift. Sort of a ‘Screw You Spouse - get your own damn gift.’ YMMV and all that. OP - I agree with everyone who said check their registery. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/42 "2011-10-03T17:39:44Z")
I think this would be the perfect gift. And it’s only $54. [Monogrammed Leather Toilet Tissue Paper Cover](http://www.comforthouse.com/monogenuineleathertoilettissuepapercover.html) ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/43 "2011-10-03T17:56:50Z")
> [@](#): > > ONLY for one half of the wedding party So very sorry, my bad, I meant to say matching fishing vests. As in, one for her and one for him. And I agree, that would be very, very, rude! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/44 "2011-10-03T18:08:05Z")
I’d either give a gift to charity in their name, or buy a gift that’s clearly something for his new bride-to-be. BTW, what is [Heifer.com](http://Heifer.com)? I went to their website and it’s still not clear to me. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/45 "2011-10-03T18:16:08Z")
I have the perfect gift for folks like that. It serves all the purposes you list, not to mention the joy of watching the pretentious pretend they know what it is! Muwahahaha! Job one is to find out what their silver pattern is. Job two is to go to a place like [replacements.com](http://replacements.com) and find 2-3 overly specific serving utensils. Berry spoons are a good bet for under $20. Fish knife, a sardine fork, a bone holder, a butter pick, a cake breaker. All gloriously materialistic and sure to become bragged-upon treasures. And all surprisingly inexpensive. So, start with the silver pattern, then go here: [List of piece types](http://www.replacements.com/piecetype/flat_piece.htm) and pick something interesting. Then search the site or even Google at large for the combination of pattern/piece. You needn’t stay in-pattern of course, for the more antique items, but folks who are big on looks and low on discernment are generally all about “Matched Sets.” hth ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/46 "2011-10-03T18:18:43Z")
[Heifer.com](http://Heifer.com): They provide farm animals for people so they can raise their quality of life. Cows, goats, pigs, sheep, llamas, bees for milk, meat, wool, honey, and other commodities, and the animals can reproduce so the beneficiaries can pass on the offspring to their neighbors. A very highly regarded organization with low overhead. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/47 "2011-10-03T18:31:23Z")
I think you’re over thinking it. If they have a registry, use that. If they don’t, ask them if they’ll have one. If you don’t want to ask them or they don’t bother, then just give them a check or cash in the amount you can afford. As I understand, for most couples, especially if they’re already living together, or in this case, have someone else providing for their needs, cash is a lot more useful than a toaster or a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond. Another option is to give them a gift that has mostly sentimental value. Maybe some old photographs or if you do any sort of craft you could make that, or if you’re an artist or photographer, you could give them an original, or if you’re a poet or writer, you could give them a nice printing of that which could be done quite inexpensively and still have significant meaning. Or, quite frankly, you don’t have to give them anything. I wouldn’t feel guilty about it either. I think a gift makes sense for a couple that has needs, especially if they’re just starting their life out together and they have to overcome the cost of the wedding, so a little something helps there. But it doesn’t sound like they have any need nor that it would be appreciated and it’s unfair to you to put yourself in a difficult situation out of a sense of obligation. Afterall, the point of a wedding is to share the celebration of their union with their friends and family, not to scam people out of gifts and money. If anything, it would be rude of them to expect gifts from those they know are stretching their budgets thin as it is. ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/48 "2011-10-03T20:03:15Z")
Trophy case Wedding trophy with a tent or fish or car (or all 3) on top Bulk pack on fancy looking blank certificates and printing software. Expensive his and hers hand mirrors ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/49 "2011-10-03T20:43:04Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > Or get them a [Festivus pole](http://festivusweb.com/festivus-pole.htm). It has a very high strength to weight ratio. Then you could air your grievances to them directly without committing a social faux pas. Or, consider getting a cashmere sweater that’s been discounted due to a barely visible red dot. No one will ever notice. Where are they registered? Just find something not very expensive and get it. You can probably take care of the whole thing in a few minutes online. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/50 "2011-10-03T23:44:41Z")
A bottle of top of the line booze? You can start saving a couple dollars a week to avoid sticker shock. It will blend in real nice on one of their wet bars. I don’t think you can mail it though. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379/51 "2011-10-04T00:04:47Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I’ll disagree on this one. Unsolicited charity gifts always seem tacky to me. The giftee doesn’t actually get anything, which is the point of gifts. And the gifter is the one who ends up with all the credit for being a charitable guy- which subtly implies the giftee is not as charitable as the gifter. This is right on the money. Charity gifts are _so_ lame. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-gift-for-a-conceited-materialistic-blowhard/598379.md?page=2)