# Wedding invitation addressed just to me, not long-term girlfriend -- can she go? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082 "2013-08-24T20:10:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/101 "2013-08-27T20:10:09Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > So a couple that just met and got married a month earlier is more legitimate than a couple that has been together for 10 years but aren’t married. Gotcha. Yes. That’s what the whole concept of marriage is for. If you want your relationship to have that status, then you get married. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/102 "2013-08-27T20:13:54Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > Yep, that’s the rule. See, there are advantages to getting married. > [@Acsenray](#): > > Yes. That’s what the whole concept of marriage is for. If you want your relationship to have that status, then you get married. Some people can’t legally get married, though I assure you they are well aware of the advantages of doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/103 "2013-08-27T20:25:14Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > So a couple that just met and got married a month earlier is more legitimate than a couple that has been together for 10 years but aren’t married. Gotcha. As mentioned, that is up to the judgment of the host and hostess. They get to decide, because it is their party. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/104 "2013-08-27T20:49:55Z")
This thread is so surprising to me. In my experience, a wedding invitation would **always** be +1. If I know somebody is married, I’d invite the couple. If I don’t know whether they’re married or in a relationship or whatever, the invitation would just be +1. But I would never in a million years consider inviting somebody to a wedding and expect them to come alone. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/105 "2013-08-27T21:22:27Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Some people can’t legally get married, though I assure you they are well aware of the advantages of doing so. At least in the Western world, this is starting largely not to be a problem. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/106 "2013-08-28T03:05:31Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > And there it is. Succinctly and awesomely put. You read my mind, thanks for that 🙂 > > On that note, I’m done with this. I’ve spent far more time than I wanted to on this difference of opinion. Next time I’ll just let **Ivory** say it better for me 😉 (Tips my hat at **SWB** ). ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/107 "2013-08-28T03:43:32Z")
> [@MrSquishy](#): > > This thread is so surprising to me. In my experience, a wedding invitation would **always** be +1. If I know somebody is married, I’d invite the couple. If I don’t know whether they’re married or in a relationship or whatever, the invitation would just be +1. But I would never in a million years consider inviting somebody to a wedding and expect them to come alone. Yeah, in my experience, wedding invitations around here tend to be +1, whether you’re single or known to have an SO. I’m pretty sure that’s how we did it at our wedding (although it was a smaller one, under 100 guests.) In my opinion, the wedding is as much about celebrating friends and family as it is the couple (moreso, in my opinion.) You want your guests to be comfortable, so allow them to bring a guest. Going to weddings alone, if you hardly know anyone, would suck. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/108 "2013-08-28T11:34:56Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > You want your guests to be comfortable, so allow them to bring a guest. Going to weddings alone, if you hardly know anyone, would suck. It would, but how often does that happen? I’m sure everyone’s experience is different, but I’ve almost never heard of people not getting invited in groups - family knows other family, friends know other friends, coworkers know other coworkers, etc. I did hear of it once.Someone invited the guy he who ran the bait shop and his wife. They didn’t know anyone else there, and they didn’t look very comfortable even though there were two of them. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/109 "2013-08-28T11:39:38Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > It would, but how often does that happen? I’m sure everyone’s experience is different, but I’ve almost never heard of people not getting invited in groups - family knows other family, friends know other friends, coworkers know other coworkers, etc. I did hear of it once.Someone invited the guy he who ran the bait shop and his wife. They didn’t know anyone else there, and they didn’t look very comfortable even though there were two of them. I’ve been to more than one wedding in which I knew no one but the bride or groom. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082/110 "2013-08-29T21:53:38Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > So a couple that just met and got married a month earlier is more legitimate than a couple that has been together for 10 years but aren’t married. Gotcha. I think it’s generally recognized that if you’re a cohabiting (married or not) couple, then you should be considered a unit as far as invitations are concerned. If you’re not living together, no matter the length of your relationship, then it’s perfectly fine to invite only 1/2 of you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-invitation-addressed-just-to-me-not-long-term-girlfriend-can-she-go/667082.md?page=5)