# Wedding question, smashing a wineglass **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 17, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733 "2013-07-17T06:01:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Cat\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Little\_Cat\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Cat_Z)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/1 "2013-07-17T06:01:48Z")
Groom wraps a wineglass in a napkin and stomps on it at the end of the ceremony. This may be a dumb question but…does this ever happen at anything but a Jewish wedding? ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/2 "2013-07-17T07:05:11Z")
I don’t believe so. It’s a Jewish custom of uncertain origin. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/3 "2013-07-17T07:40:26Z")
Stomping on the wine glass is clearly symbolic of . . . _something._ The story you’re not supposed to know is it originated in purely sexual symbolism. The preferred story is that it’s an act that’s totally irreversible and non-undoable, just as a getting married is an irreversible and non-undoable act before God. (I learned this from by brother, who I think has studied some Jewish history of this sort.) ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/4 "2013-07-17T09:07:37Z")
I have seen it at secular weddings where the groom was Jewish. I’ve heard a number of stories of the symbolism, but even the obvious sexual one still includes the idea of irreversibility. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/5 "2013-07-17T11:00:47Z")
Everybody has their own ideas regarding the symbolism: you don’t need to be a profound philosopher. For some, it’s symbolic of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. For others, it’s just be a nice little symbol of the sadness that inevitably comes in life–because sometimes, after your cup runneth over, it gets horribly mangled. 🙂 But there’s one thing that everybody agrees on: it makes such a wonderful crunchy sound! After the formal and somewhat somber tone of the ceremony, that crashing footstomp and crackling sound of breaking glass makes the perfect counterpoint ending, and brings a smile to every face in the room. That’s the moment when the musicians turn up the music. For the OP’s question: There may be a similarity to Russian (Scandinavian ? )culture, where people let out a cheer of “Skol!” and throw their wineglasses into the fireplace. Breaking stuff is fun, and adults don’t normally have much opportunity to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/6 "2013-07-17T13:00:23Z")
[Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_wedding#Breaking_the_glass) is your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/7 "2013-07-17T13:10:14Z")
It was done at my daughter’s (largely secular) (groom from mostly-lapsed Jewish family) wedding. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/8 "2013-07-17T13:39:17Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Breaking stuff is fun, and adults don’t normally have much opportunity to do it. This. Though apparently a Rabbi from the wiki link **Keeve** posted thinks we’re all having too much fun, and it should be more like “_sniff_ _sniff_ _sob_ Mazzl… _wail!_ mazzle _gnash teeth_ _apply ashes, change into sackcloth wedding clothes_ …tov… _rend hair_ :(:(:(:(” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/9 "2013-07-17T14:02:07Z")
Frequently these days is it no longer a real wine glass, but a lightbulb, for ease of smashing purposes. It breaks more easily and as I understand it, the odds of a random shard puncturing the groom’s foot as much less. Although I understand some more traditional couples eschew this? Anyway, many venues STRONGLY SUGGEST the use of a lightbulb or something less potentially-lethal than a wineglass. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/10 "2013-07-17T14:08:58Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > Frequently these days is it no longer a real wine glass, but a lightbulb, for ease of smashing purposes. It breaks more easily and as I understand it, the odds of a random shard puncturing the groom’s foot as much less. Although I understand some more traditional couples eschew this? Anyway, many venues STRONGLY SUGGEST the use of a lightbulb or something less potentially-lethal than a wineglass. Lightbulbs were reportedly a common substitute in concentration-camp weddings. While using a piece of restaurant-grade stemware might be hazardous, there are extremely fragile - even frangible - wine glasses and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are even special ones for this purpose. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/11 "2013-07-17T14:17:07Z")
There are; I’ve seen them at Jewish weddings. The cups were wrapped in a cloth napkin before the stompings, for safety purposes. Some classic movie scenes of toasts show the participants throwing the glasses into the fireplace or out the window after suitably commemorating the person being toasted. The meaning is apparently that the glasses can never again be used for a lesser purpose than honoring their memory. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/12 "2013-07-17T14:17:24Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > This. Though apparently a Rabbi from the wiki link **Keeve** posted thinks we’re all having too much fun, and it should be more like “_sniff_ _sniff_ _sob_ Mazzl… _wail!_ mazzle _gnash teeth_ _apply ashes, change into sackcloth wedding clothes_ …tov… _rend hair_ :(:(:(:(” :rolleyes: You’re misunderstanding it. > [@the Wiki link I previously posted](#): > > The primary reason is that joy must always be tempered. This is based on two accounts in the Talmud of rabbis who, upon seeing that their son’s wedding celebration was getting out of hand, broke a vessel - in the second case a glass - to calm things down. Note the phrases “be tempered” and “calm things down”. No one is suggesting sackcloth. But indeed, too much of a good thing - even fun - _can_ be no good, and this custom was originally designed to help prevent the crowd from going too far. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/13 "2013-07-17T15:47:09Z")
Actually, I’m reacting to the very last paragraph in the piece, which goes a bit further than “tempering”: > [@Wikipedia](#): > > Former Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Israel Ovadia Yosef, has strongly criticized the way this custom is sometimes carried out, arguing that “Many unknowledgeable people fill their mouths with laughter during the breaking of the glass, shouting ‘mazel tov’ and turning a beautiful custom meant to express our sorrow” over Jerusalem’s destruction “into an opportunity for lightheadedness.” I’ll cop to employing hyperbole, though. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/14 "2013-07-17T15:55:47Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Some classic movie scenes of toasts show the participants throwing the glasses into the fireplace or out the window after suitably commemorating the person being toasted. The meaning is apparently that the glasses can never again be used for a lesser purpose than honoring their memory. Not to hijack any further, but there’s a story about some minor Soviet official who pestered his way into permission to use a tea set of Catherine the Great’s for some function. A guest accidentally dropped one cup, and the other guests, misunderstanding, all smashed theirs in response. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/15 "2013-07-17T15:56:13Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > I’ll cop to employing hyperbole, though. As long as you got an I-9, you should be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Cat\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Little\_Cat\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Cat_Z)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/16 "2013-07-17T16:54:47Z")
> [@Keeve](#): > > [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_wedding#Breaking_the_glass) is your friend. Actually not. I knew it happened at Jewish weddings. What I didn’t know is if it is a custom adopted anywhere by nonJewish people. Say at an Episcopalian wedding where the groom is a really nonobservant Jew. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/17 "2013-07-18T01:29:54Z")
Friends of mine did this at their ceremony. It was non-denominational, the officiant was a Unitarian minister. AFAIK neither of them have any Jewish heritage or other strong connection to Judaism. If they do they’ve never mentioned it otherwise. I never actually asked why they added it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Cat\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Little\_Cat\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Cat_Z)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-question-smashing-a-wineglass/663733/18 "2013-07-18T03:00:47Z")
Thanks, that is the kind of thing I was wondering.