# Wedding toasts **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2012, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576 "2012-09-23T05:55:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![With\_Rye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@With\_Rye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/With_Rye)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/1 "2012-09-23T05:55:14Z")
Anyone have awesome wedding toasts they want to share? The wedding is coming up and I have nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/2 "2012-09-23T08:20:18Z")
Here’s one that always seems to win the bride over and may even get her a little giddy: Here’s to good old whisky, So amber-like and clear, It’s not so sweet as a woman’s lips But a damned sight more sincere. Plan for a quick exit. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/3 "2012-09-23T11:33:58Z")
> [@With\_Rye](#): > > Anyone have awesome wedding toasts they want to share? The wedding is coming up and I have nothing. > **[Jealousy](https://xkcd.com/420/)** ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/4 "2012-09-23T11:41:18Z")
To the Bride’s vagina. Long may it wave. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/5 "2012-09-24T03:20:22Z")
A favourite of my Dad: May the best you’ve ever seen Be the worst you’ll ever see; May the moose ne’er leave your girnal Wi’ a teardrop in its e’e! May your lum keep blithely reekin’ Till you’re auld enough to dee; May you aye be just as happy As I wish you aye to be! (Requires Scot’s accent) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/6 "2012-09-24T03:30:03Z")
As the brother of the bride, I was expected to give a toast. But everyone knew I didn’t want to do it, so they all told me “You don’t have to say much.” So when the time came, I just held up a piece of toast. And when the chuckling wound down, said “Congratulations!” ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/7 "2012-09-24T19:35:31Z")
I was the Best Man at the first wedding I had ever attended. I sincerely offered to take wedding pictures and didn’t understand why everyone laughed at the suggestion. When the time came to give a speech, I hadn’t known I was under such an obligation and I had nothing prepared. So, waving my hands dramatically, I said to all the friends and family around… To Rob and Renee We’ve spent many years watching them grow _ **together** _ And we’ll spend many more years watching them \*\*\*grow \*\*\*together. –G! And a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle . --U2 . Tryin’ to Throw Your Arms Around The World . Achtung Baby ---
**Author:** ![Beelzebubba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Beelzebubba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beelzebubba)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/8 "2012-09-26T02:43:59Z")
I’ve always been partial to this one- \*\* “Here’s to those who wish them well/ And all the rest can go to Hell!”\*\* ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wedding-toasts/635576/9 "2012-09-26T03:48:01Z")
A friend of mine went to a wedding where the best man started of his toast with “Fornication!” which made everyone freeze and go :eek: but then he went to say “Fornication such as this . . .” You need a Nor’n Irish accent to make it sound right. 🙂