Weekly Comic Book Discussion 6/28/2006

Cafe Society
21

Poorly written? Remember when Cap started punching out cops and going all hard-core fugitive so he could fight for the rights of people practicing law without registering with the state bar? And that time when he led a revolution so unqualified folks could practice medicine? And how he kidnapped all those legislators until all the fifteen-year-olds in the land were allowed to drive cars without getting licenses?

Oh, wait, he didn’t do any of that. Because that would’ve been stupid.

God, I hate what CIVIL WAR is shaping up to be.

22

Geez! This already exploded.

Fenris, I’m still getting a different vibe from Civil War than you - if you have powers, you must register, but you don’t have to continue fighting crime. The intro blurb for Civil War #2 is either really badly written, or confirms this. (Or, both)

Hawkgirl #53 - really, really sucked. Except Kendra’s shirt being ripped off, which I enjoyed.

Ion #3 - If Kyle kills Mogo, I’m going to be very, very upset. And write Mr. Marz a stern letter. With a yellow baseball bat. So far, I’m kinda bored with the series, but the first glimmer of promise begins to shine.

Spectre #2 of 3 - Well, they’re certainly foreshadowing an interesting conflict.

Blue Beetle #4 - Heh. Most amusing. And next ish - The Phantom Stranger!

JLA Classified - Enjoying the ride.

Young Avengers - Goes on hiatus now till after Civil War, but will be splitting a book with the Runaways during that time. I love the team, but I’m not prepared to wade through this level of crap to keep up with them.

Batman - Why, yes, this is the best Batman story I’ve read in ages.

Civil War Frontline #2 - Oh, yeah. They’re being all heavy-handed now. Feh.

Amazing Spider-Man #533 - I agree, this could’ve come out sooner. The bit with Osborne was unsettling. Probably the best handled of the Civil War tie-ins I’ve read.

Fantastic Four #538 - We’re treading water, but love the return of the hero in the last couple pages.

New Avengers #21 - Just plain badly written, I’ll agree.

More when I come back from vacation.

23

I dunno—after reading the current Avengers, I put it in the unredeemable category. (And really, has Sam Wilson ever* talked like a bad blaxploitation character? What was the point of that? And Cap’s insane dialogue makes him sound like a bad Rush Limbaugh-esque parody of what an Air America type sounds like–which only makes sense if Cap’s being mind contr…hmmm. I see a way out. :wink: )

Seriously though, the other point that pisses me off is that they swore that “NOTHING WOULD EVER BE THE SAME!” but um…if The Red Skull is behind all this (there’s hints in FF that there’s more to this than meets the eye) or hell, if it’s just that one of the sides sided with a bad law by accident, I don’t see how it changes much of anything. The wrong side just says “Oops. My bad.” and all is forgiven

And the way they’re playing this, it has somewhat less depth and nuance than one of Street Poet Ray’s “Rap-haikus”

Heh…which now I have the urge to do, regarding Civil War.

Thus, Street Poet Fenris provides a rap-haiku on The Civil War event:

Heroes getting into fights
Some are wrong, some are right
When heroes war, it make me sad
But sadder when Cap is written bad.

:: snerk :: (note that the bad scan in line four is de riguer for a Street Poet Ray Rap-Haiku.)

Street Poet Fenris (no applause please, just throw cash)

*Again, ignoring the tragically dumb “Snap” Wilson stuff which doesn’t count

24

That’s why I’m completely ignoring Civil War EXCEPT as it relates to the Young Avengers. It gives me enough blissful ignorance that I can concentrate on the characters that really count to me. :smiley:

25

:: Tosses Fenris a nickel. ::

I want my change back, too,

26

Nope. There’s a couple of things that I think absolutely demonstrate that you don’t have to register if you have powers. (I think the blurb was just poorly written–which is no surprise. :wink: )

1-Circumstantial: there’s a comment in either Civil War 1 or 2 OR Frontline 1 that says that everyone who registers is gonna get S.H.I.E.L.D. training. In the absence of a draft, this makes no sense unless it’s only those who wanna go on being super-heroes.

2-Spider-Man says something similar when he unmasks in Civil War 2 about “Super-Heroes going legitimate”.

3-In one of this week’s books a hero point blank says that he or she is just gonna quit. It’s not worth it and he or she doesn’t want to register. And then walks off. The end.

4-And this is the kicker to me: IF every person with super-powers (and how do you define that: does Stephen Hawking have a super-power? How 'bout Jesse Owens, circa 1936? If not, why does Cap? The super-soldier serum didn’t make him super-human it made him into the best possible human, ergo no powers) has to register and be drafted than everyone on the “bad guy” side is a complete moron (more of one) and the story is even less interesting

(And skimming back through Civil War 1 and 2…um…Reed is building an interrment camp? Please. Reed’s not supposed to be stupid.)
Oh, and as an aside, except for the fact that the current crop of writers think “Dur…anyone who disagreez wid’ me is eeee-vil.”, why have they suddenly made Jonah into a Republican who’s quoting Bill O’Reilly? He’s always (and I mean back to when Ditko was drawing the book) been a liberal–granted a law-n-order liberal but liberal. ALWAYS. His (most often given) reason for disliking super-heroes is the “masked avenger”=“Klan” thing AND he’s bitched about due-process, “super-facists”, etc. The fact that he’s a dick does not prevent him from being a liberal (which explains the aforementioned Al Franken :wink: :stuck_out_tongue: ) . Think about most of the “relevant '60s and early '70s” stuff where Jonah was ALWAYS on the liberal side of the argument except for super-heroes/police.

27

Well in defense of the Jonah charater change… post 9/11 there were a lot of liberals who kind of freaked out and went to the other side.(Howard Stern, most part liberal but in the months after 9/11 there was little difference between what he was spouting what Bill O’Reily’s line is.)

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52 #8: I gotta tell you I always arc-weld with my tatas hanging out. Good issue except for that little detail which took me right out of the story.

Sub Diego? Rly? Wow. I guess the History segment is good for relative newbies like me, but that’s the only new thing that I’d learned so far.

Action Comics #840: They totally stole that scene from Smallville. Not complaining though. Nice wrap-up issue. Not sure I’ll follow the series though. I like what Busiek has done, but not enough to follow it on a monthly basis. Maybe in the trades.

Ion #3: Really liking this series. Loved the trip down memory lane and the various costumes.

Brave New World: MM, Shazam, and Creeper look good, but I’ll wait for the trades. Uncle Sam, no thanks. I’ll be getting the Atom and damnit, OMAC at least for the first issue. For some reason I couldn’t get the opening sequence of the first Kingdom Hearts out of my head while reading OMAC.

29

The bad movie geek in my just wants to throw out that Blackula himself never talked like this either, and indeed would have pimpslapped Sam Wilson in this issue if he had been present.

My only point of intrest for Civil War was seeing who would take which side. Why would Hercules, for example, fight the goverment? He probably doesn’t understand half the issues involved. Why would Wonder Man opposes it (and wouldn’t he have bigger issues to work through?) This black and white stuff, and Cap being the blatant guilt trip to join his side (because anyone who opposes hm is wrong) is just annoying.

New Spectre looks good, though. Easy character to mess up, but I think they’re gonna pull it off.

30

Wait…Spectre came out?! I didn’t get it dammit.

31

Thank you! :slight_smile:

I’m so happy, I could plotz!

:cool: :smiley: :cool: :smiley: :cool:

32

Yes, he has. Throughout Englehart’s run and when Kirby briefly handled the character in the mid-70s. Granted, those were both over 30 years ago, and they bookended the “Snap” Wilson period.

33

Hawkgirl - That’s one scary giant-monster-vagina Khimaera’s worshipping. Oy. The art’s actually getting worse, too. >_<

52 - The Supernova Is Booster theory takes a blow. Not a fatal one, though, I think. I can see a few ways it could still work out that Booster’s Supernova. Ralph’s face when he realises who he’s talking to in the Cult of Connor church made me giggle very much. Natasha is SUCH a teenager.

Brave New World - That splash page at the end was something. OMAC didn’t do much for me…happy with the rest. The Martian Manhunter story, particularly has my attention.

Robin - Some of Batman’s teachings stuck after all, it seems.

Action - I <3 Lois Lane. And it’s nice to see Clark making an effort as concerns Jimmy again.

34

You and me both.

By the way, did the next Handbook of the Marvel Universe come out. I think I missed it. Let me know if I need to take a trip to the store on my lunch hour.

35

Me too. When enough of your friends and colleagues return from the dead that it can actually slip your mind, you might need to be less skeptical about things.

In Natasha’s defense, I did a lot of stupid things (many of them frying-related) in low-cut tops before it sunk in that I should cover up better. It’s stupid, but sadly not implausible!

36

Brave New World: Let’s break it down.
Martian Manhunter: Ugh. Do we have to find shocking revelations about J’onn’s past again? I’m gritting my teeth, but I’ll give it a shot, because I loves me some Martians.
OMAC: This actually looks intriguing. I’m skipping it for now, but I may check it out if Martian Manhunter is as crummy as I fear.
Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters: Ugh. Partisan politics. And real-world issues so thinly veiled that the veil is an insult (just say Iraq, folks). The part about “the healing waters of the mighty Missippi” is pretty cool. I do like Uncle Sam, but I’ll be skipping this one.
The Creeper: Oh, no. I admit I’m not well-versed on the Creeper, but the thing that made some of his previous incarnations attractive is that he’s batshit insane. Not funny insane, like Plastic Man, but dangerously unbalanced, like the Joker, but still on the side of good. This one looks scary, but he’s not crazy at all. Skip
The All-New Atom: Ah, finally. This is great. Weird sci-fi, interesting characters, really solid. Love the quotations.
Trials of Shazam: Pretty, and interesting.
Framing Story: Huh. I had really hoped that we could put the Crisis behind us. but this is actually interesting.

Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes: Best LSH in a while. But then, I’m a sucker for genre mishmashes, especially if there’s some noir involved. Also, Cham was overdo for some backstory and exposure.

The Spectre #2: Cool philosophical problems abound. this is a great Spectre story. I wonder what the new Status Quo will be in the end.

52 Week 8: Ah, geeze man. Poor John. Of course, there’s worse fates than being turned involuntarily into Collossus.

Batman #654: Oh, good. For a moment there, with all the handwringing about Harvey, and the kindness to junior police officers, and planning for Tim’s future, I was afraid they’d left out the badass. Nope. It’s all there. This, at long last, is the Batman I really want to read about.

Action Comics #840: A good wrapup. It’s no accident, I think, that this storyline has had some strong similarities to Superman Returns. This version was less beautiful, but much more fun.

37

What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? I’m the goddamn Uncle Sam!
Sorry.

38

Amazing Spider Man 533: First the big news on the Civil War front. You are arrested if you don’t register period. Stark says point blank that he has a list of heroes and any on that list will be hunted down and arrested if they don’t register. Heck, on the last page Stark as Iron Man says to Spider Man(and I’ll spoiler this just in case)

…so it’s best I introduce you to the others you’ll be fighting with in this war before the dying starts tommorow :rolleyes: Oh the subtlety.

The issue itself? Even Straczynski couldn’t make this pile of stupid fly. This civil war nonsense is dragging down every title it touches.

39

Fenris…let me just say that you’ve inspired me.

(Though it can’t replace my current sig-banner, already in use on another message board.)

I can’t take credit for the parody concept, though…another fella on said board has a “I’m with Squirrel Girl” sig, which gave me the idea.

40

I picked up All Star Superman #4 today. Surprised no one has mentioned it. Or did it come out last week and I’m just late?