# Weird cereals **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074 "2008-04-20T02:31:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![slanted\_zipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@slanted\_zipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slanted_zipper)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/1 "2008-04-20T02:31:32Z")
Okay, so cafe society includes ‘cuisine.’ Found this online and found it absolutely hilarious. Hope you enjoy it too. [www.asylum.com/2008/04/02/20-of-the-craziest-breakfast-cereals-ever-made/](http://www.asylum.com/2008/04/02/20-of-the-craziest-breakfast-cereals-ever-made/) ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/2 "2008-04-20T02:38:29Z")
I saw your thread title, and immediately thought of “Freakies”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/3 "2008-04-20T02:50:10Z")
1. Hey, don’t diss on my Quisp!! 2. I actually had one of those “Quiz Kid” owl calculators. Lame; it’s didn’t give you the answer, only a green or red light depending on whether you gave IT the right or wrong answer, respectively. Completely useless. And you can’t even spell BOOBIES on it. 3. Kind of disappointed that [Urkel-O’s](http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000114.php) wasn’t on the list. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/4 "2008-04-20T02:53:16Z")
[QUOTE=ZenBeam] I saw your thread title, and immediately thought of “Freakies”. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I loved Freakies when I was a kid! I’m pretty sure I have a Boss Moss fridge magnet around here somewhere. > [@Scarlett67](#): > > 1. Hey, don’t diss on my Quisp!! Quisp was my favourite for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/5 "2008-04-20T03:01:42Z")
What? No Croonchy Stars? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/6 "2008-04-20T03:04:38Z")
This had me howling with laughter. I’ve never heard of most of these cereals, but I’m glad they included **Kaboom**. They got it’s number, too, except for omitting the fact that it was so heavily vitamin-fortified that it actually _tasted_ like vitamin pills. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/7 "2008-04-20T03:08:25Z")
Wow. I’m old. I remember, and have eaten, most of those cereals. Thanks **Slanted Zipper** , now I can’t get that stupid King Vitaman jingle out of my head …“King Vitamaaaan. Have breakfast with the king. King Vitamaaaan. Have breakfast with the…” Kill me ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/8 "2008-04-20T03:09:04Z")
I had no idea the world of cereal was so unusual: moon generals, freaky kings, foppish World War I-era pilots, Mr. Potato Head ripoffs, four characters who look like they came out of some sort of business advertisement or something and a robot, the Jolly Green Giant’s mentally-challenged Scottish cousin, and a freakin’ _flying hat_. And the gay hippo. Oh, god, the gay hippo. Cap’n Crunch seems so enamored with him… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/9 "2008-04-20T03:16:13Z")
[Crispy Hexagons](http://www.gearbits.com/images/crispy_hexagons.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/10 "2008-04-20T03:24:54Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] [Crispy Hexagons](http://www.gearbits.com/images/crispy_hexagons.jpg) [/QUOTE] Oh, generic cereals should get a list of their own- a lot of them have unusual names. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/11 "2008-04-20T03:47:32Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] I had no idea the world of cereal was so unusual: moon generals, freaky kings, foppish World War I-era pilots, Mr. Potato Head ripoffs, four characters who look like they came out of some sort of business advertisement or something and a robot, the Jolly Green Giant’s mentally-challenged Scottish cousin, and a freakin’ _flying hat_. And the gay hippo. Oh, god, the gay hippo. Cap’n Crunch seems so enamored with him… [/QUOTE] Careful! You don’t want to make it look like the Cap’n’s violating “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”! No mention of [Crispy Critters](http://theimaginaryworld.com/tic378.jpg)? [Freakies commercials!](http://youtube.com/watch?v=Be77gKd55q4) ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/12 "2008-04-20T03:51:32Z")
Ozric Tentacles? ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/13 "2008-04-20T04:28:32Z")
My brother ate Quisp; I ate Quake. Quake could totally kick Quisp’s little alien ass. “Punch Crunch”. I have no memory of this Cap’n Crunch variation; guess it didn’t last long. But that one also has perhaps the oddest toy ever included in a box of cereal: a “Super Soap Shaper”, which looks to be some kind of tool that allows one to carve one’s name into a bar of soap. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/14 "2008-04-20T04:34:06Z")
[QUOTE=Scarlett67] 1. I actually had one of those “Quiz Kid” owl calculators. Lame; it’s didn’t give you the answer, only a green or red light depending on whether you gave IT the right or wrong answer, respectively. Completely useless. And you can’t even spell BOOBIES on it. [/QUOTE] So did I! I have no recollection of that cereal, but I definitely remember that infuriating little thing - it was in fact useless. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/15 "2008-04-20T04:55:50Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Careful! You don’t want to make it look like the Cap’n’s violating “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”! [/QUOTE] “You and the Cap’n make it happen,” indeed… Sir Grapefellow had a nemesis- Baron von Redberry, who also had his own cereal. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/16 "2008-04-20T06:08:40Z")
It seems like everyone of those cereals is basically the same thing: “oat” and “corn” with LOTS of sugar on it, occasionally some marshmallow thrown in. (Oh, and a “prize” inside.) They weren’t selling food; they were selling candy, packaged in cartoons, which is strange, to me–didn’t they realize that the parent does the shopping? Today they sell the same garbage, but they clearly are aiming for the parent, by claiming to be healthy. (“It has fiber!”) I never ate that stuff. Pouring milk into a bowl just didn’t seem right to me. That was for cats. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/17 "2008-04-20T06:33:24Z")
[You may now cover your King Vitaman with milk.](http://youtube.com/watch?v=3IBDuGdbdC8) They don’t make 'em like that anymore. Those Jay Ward commercials were the tops. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/18 "2008-04-20T06:46:07Z")
They forgot Kellogg’s O.J.'s [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xypb5rOwIC0/hqdefault.jpg "Kellogg's O.J.'s") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xypb5rOwIC0) No, not him, this was a Cowboy rounding up oranges acting like cows for his _orange_ cereal. (we really need a puke smilie!) And yes it was weird even before the real OJ got to be bad news. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/19 "2008-04-20T06:48:14Z")
[QUOTE=GIGObuster] They forgot Kellogg’s O.J.'s [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xypb5rOwIC0/hqdefault.jpg "Kellogg's O.J.'s") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xypb5rOwIC0) No, not him, this was a Cowboy rounding up oranges acting like cows for his _orange_ cereal. (we really need a puke smilie!) And yes it was weird even before the real OJ got to be bad news. [/QUOTE] Hmm, putting the two together does open up some possibilities, however. “A cereal so good you’d _kill_ for it!” “A stabbingly good part of this complete breakfast!” ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074/20 "2008-04-20T11:57:39Z")
[QUOTE=GIGObuster] They forgot Kellogg’s O.J.'s [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xypb5rOwIC0/hqdefault.jpg "Kellogg's O.J.'s") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xypb5rOwIC0) No, not him, this was a Cowboy rounding up oranges acting like cows for his _orange_ cereal. (we really need a puke smilie!) And yes it was weird even before the real OJ got to be bad news. [/QUOTE] Heheh…I remember OJs and being quite surprised and somewhat offended at how bad they tasted. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-cereals/446074.md?page=2)