Weird household rituals

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Way back when, my Dad was leaving the house after dinner to go back to work, Mom would ask, “Where are you going and when will you be back?” ( she knew ) and he would respond with, “Out.” and “When you see me.”

So, I am finally 16, have enough money saved up for a car, and now I am free… Well, except I still have to tell them where & when I will return.

On to the summer between Junior & Senior year. My second year of spending it working away from home. I return from the job and have a week or so before school starts. One day I feel like just going out to clean my car in the driveway. Mom & Dad are in the kitchen together and as I pass the doorway I get the usual question from my Dad.

I do not know why I did this, I had not ever thought about, all my life I had always told them, so they could hunt for my body if needed, it was common curtsey and a requirement in their house for their children.

You can see it coming, right?

“Where are you going and when will you be back?”
and I responded with “Out.” and “When you see me.”
They went back to their coffee.

I must have had that deer in the headlight look for a bit. I slowly walked out with no idea of what to do. I had not been killed, dressed down, not questioned further, my response was accepted as stated. Well, now I had to go someplace…

I got in my car and drove a few blocks away, parked and listened to my radio for about an hour & a half. Then I went back home.

Nothing was said. I did not do that again as I now knew I could.

FWD to the time after high school & I was home a few weeks after my military duty was completed I was just going out to prowl around and said it the second time in my life to my parents. Mom just said to, “Be safe.”

I finally really felt that in their eyes, I was now a grown-up.

My six other siblings were not pleased. It would be several more years before any of them were ‘grown-up.’

22

When my 18 year old was a baby, he had a set of blue mittens. One of the mittens got lost, and we just never threw away the other. My husband and I built up an epic backstory for this mitten; how valuable it was to have been left behind and how we were so fortunate to be the owners. On a whim one Christmas, I wrapped it like a gift and gave it to my husband. He wrapped it and gave it to me for Valentine’s Day the next year. Any occasion, President’s Day, Easter, Arbor Day involves the careful wrapping and giving of the blue mitten.

23

Back when I was living with my parents my room was upstairs and I refused to step on a step that had something on it (shoes, something that needed to go upstairs, dog toy, etc.).

Sometimes I would have to take a running leap of four steps! Same going down, had to jump em.
This also reminds me that in college the tiles would have a line of mis-colored ones. I had to always step over them. Which made for weird walks with people who didn’t know the ritual, and REALLY weird tours when I was a tour guide and my poor tours had no idea why I was stepping weird

24

It was ritual of my siblings that last one up…was getting woken up rudely or being scared silly.

25

My kiddos still expect songs every night for bedtime. They are 10 and 9 now. I suppose there will come a time (soon :frowning: ) when we won’t have song anymore. We still have a nightly story read too. We’re onto books like the Hobbit or White Fang or the Wings of Fire books. It doesn’t seem that long ago that we were reading the Bear is Scared. Sigh.

26

I use a sanding drum in my Dremel motor-tool. :slight_smile: You have to be careful not to be too aggressive, or you can overheat your toenails, which feels really weird. :eek:

27

The second time I had a HS party, my curfew was 1am. At 9pm the club we’d rented was dead. I knew people wasn’t going to come in until after midnight. I said “fuck this shit” and went home, where I found the family having dinner. “Did you forget something?” “No, the place was dead and I knew it would stay that way until after midnight, so I figured since there’s a good movie on TV tonight I might as well come watch it, rather than stay there and then have to come home just as things begin to shake.”

Next time I asked “what time do I have to be home?” the response was “you’ve proved you can make adult decisions about when to come home, so whenever.” Awrighty!

My youngest brother spent his HS years asking “what time do I have to be home?” and getting home about 5 minutes before that. Eventually got no-curfew once he started college (he was in a town 1h away and came home every weekend).

The middle one spent over a decade asking “what time do I have to be home?” and getting home 5-30 minutes after that, then having these huge arguments with Dad. Dad couldn’t understand how could Bro be so careless and disrespectful, Bro couldn’t get it through his skull that “saying my goodbyes and walking home” takes longer than “walking home” (he still can’t calculate trip time to save his life).

28

Dress up as a scary clown (a bloody hatchet would be good to have). When he wanders out, shout ‘Your days of sippy cups and hot chocolate are over! Cold milk out of a tumbler from now on, until you’re ready for coffee!’

29

When my nephew was 3 or so, if you gave him a treat he wanted 2. Not so much that he really liked m&ms or cookies, but he was into symmetry; he wanted one for each hand. The proof was you could break one cookie in half and give him both halves and he’d be happy.

In my teen years, Mom and I had a ritual similar to GusNSpot’s.
Mom: Where are you going?
Ranger: Out.
M: Who are you going with?
R: Whoever.
M: What are you going to do?
R: Whatever.
M: What time will you get home?
R: When I get here.

Friends and not really close relatives who were present were very shocked at our weekend night ritual.

30

Slight hijack – my younger daughter had a problem with being home later than she was supposed to be. Finally, I told her that when she was late, I was scared. I reminded her of the teenager in the neighborhood years before who *never *came home because she’d been murdered in the woods nearby. So, I added, for every minute I am scared, you are grounded for one day. After that she was always home on time, or at least found a way to call me.

31

After my 6 year old daughter has a bath, she insists despite being well past the age for it, being wrapped up in a towel, held in my arms, and have rock-a-bye baby sung to her, not once but twice. Now my two year old son has decided that it holds the same appeal to him, so now I’m rock-a-bye-babying him too, but at least only once.

I’m a lousy singer but doesn’t seem to matter to them.

32

Soulcatcher, to mix it up, you can try singing “Soft Kitty”.

33

Or “Don’t Fear The Reaper”…

34

Want to have a bath at our house? Here are the instructions:

Start running bath.
Say ‘hi’ to the cat that has just run into the bathroom.
Place down the Special Towel.
Cat will lie down in middle of Special Towel.
Pat cat vigorously. If patting is not vigorous enough, cat will let you know. Vocally.
Cat will attack towel. You are required to continue pats whilst attack occurs. Take care.
When cat has had enough, cat will run out of the bathroom.
Put away the towel, shake head and continue to have bath.
Ponder whether you’ve just had sexy times with the cat.
Feel a bit uncomfortable.

35

Black Betty

36

“Barnacle Bill the Sailor”?

37

Wednesday and Sunday are “wind the clock day”. We have an old clock that was a wedding present to her grandparents. Whoever thinks about it first winds the clock and moves the key to the opposite side - right being the Sunday side and left the Wednesday.