# Weird Man Behavior (HIGH potential for TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342 "2002-03-21T14:19:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/41 "2002-03-22T16:47:28Z")
I’ve heard of this (2nd and 3rd uhhh… hand), but have never done, seen, or known anyone who claims to have done it. yuch yuch yuch. BTW, in the soggy bread/biscuit/cookie game, the loser is the guy who finishes _last_?? I’m guessing a woman didn’t invent this game. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/42 "2002-03-22T16:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*The only time I’ve heard of such a thing was when I was a volunteer summer camp counselor for one season. The camp director was speaking to his staff during orientation and mentioned that he caught a group of pubescent boys having such a contest one previous summer. IMO, the only men who would masturbate in open view of _anyone_ are either immature, ape-like, or have some sort of mental disorder. \*\* This one time, at band camp…😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/43 "2002-03-23T08:44:02Z")
O Lord. When I was in 9th grade, I went with this one guy for a month. It only lasted that long because I was scared of him.\* Anyway, he was in the habit of jerking off in places where he knew he would get caught. A carrel in the library. The equipment room in the gym. Under his desk while a film was being shown in class. And so on. He was definitely not normal; in fact, I think he had been molested. He also brought up the subject with me once. While denying that this was a pattern with him, he nonetheless was eager to tell me about “an article” he’d read which stated that “every guy has done it at least twice! So if I did it, and that would be the twice, would that bother you?” And of course, he refused to listen when I told him I didn’t CARE what he did in that regard, just that he should do what he needed to do and leave me out of it. Years later: Mr. Rilch: “Who are these guys who’ve only done it twice?” Me: “I dunno: guys with no arms?” Mr. Rilch: “No, a guy with no arms would find some other way, and then he’d do that. And a lot more than ‘twice’.” \*I finally sought counsel, and was told that I could get a restraining order if it came to that: staying with him would be more dangerous than breaking up with him. So I told him it was over, finito, complet. He called about a million times, but I let the answering machine get it every time and he finally gave up. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/44 "2002-03-23T12:49:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Ya know, considering how men won’t even make eye contact when they’re standing at urinals (or so I’ve read) I can’t imagine they’d play this game… just a gut reaction. What do I know… \*\* Speaking as a guy; I was about to say this exact same thing. Also, speaking as a guy I must say that I will be limp for at least a week after reading this thread. I am thouroghly disgusted! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Minor\_Irritant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Minor\_Irritant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minor_Irritant)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2002, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/45 "2002-03-24T00:42:45Z")
Eeeewww… Teenage boy checking in here. I’ve never witnessed, heard of, or (ugh) participated in one of these contests. Maybe I just don’t know the right people… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2002, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/46 "2002-03-24T01:11:50Z")
So THAT’S what that song, “Cool Jerk” is all about? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2002, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/47 "2002-03-24T02:11:45Z")
And then, of course there is the (true) story, told to me by my friend’s father, a retired fireman. One of his colleauges, a guy named Dan, told about how one time, he and a few frat bros went in to the middle of nowhere to fuck sheep, which apparently is someting that frat boys do. One of the other fireman asked; “You too, Dan?” To which Dan replied, “Oh, no. I just hung out in the woods and beat off while I watched.” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/48 "2002-03-25T22:42:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*So THAT’S what that song, “Cool Jerk” is all about? > > 😃 \*\* And now it’s being used to advertise Cool Whip. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/49 "2002-03-26T00:37:32Z")
I remember reading about “circle jerks” in some sex-ed for teens-type book also, as if it were common enough that they felt it necessary to reassure boys that this was normal behavior. Also there’s a scene in the book version of _Ordinary People_ where the two brothers apparently regularly engaged in, er, “let’s see who can get there first” competitions. I am tempted to start a thread asking about being a man and dealing with this kind of behavior, including posters’ experiences with possible weird homoerotic traditions within the military. Mmmmaybe not today, though. Eugh! Any volunteers? ---
**Author:** ![askol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@askol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askol)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/50 "2002-03-26T01:55:18Z")
FYI: The soggy cookie game is also referred to as “limp bisuit.” I’m assuming that is how the band of similar title was named. -askol ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342/51 "2002-03-26T06:06:58Z")
Never heard of it, but it sounds like a lot of fun! I bet I’d be good at it too - I have really big nuts, and if I don’t beat off for a few days I can shoot a gallon. I think I’ve shot it about 6 or 8 feet at the farthest. Maybe I’ll get a big sheet of paper and draw some “yard-lines” on it, and invite my buddies over for a few beers and wanks. Does anyone know the exact rules? If one guy beats off another guy, and it goes the farthest, who wins, the beater or the beatee? Is there a point system? Dang, I’m really looking forward to the weekend now 🆒 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-man-behavior-high-potential-for-tmi/99342.md?page=2)