# weird news or how not to do it doggy style **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 21, 2005, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237 "2005-10-21T10:22:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![yingtongtiddleipo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yingtongtiddleipo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yingtongtiddleipo)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/1 "2005-10-21T10:22:12Z")
Heyhey all - my first thread… be gentle! While perusing the regional press I came across this gem today… News from Yorkshire Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post: “A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.” SO. MUCH. FUNNY. …so my new fellow dopers - got any favourite/weird/funny ‘local news’ stories? Don’t be shy now… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/2 "2005-10-21T13:26:12Z")
Wow. Guess he really screwed the pooch that time. It’s gonna be a while I think before anyone comes up with local news to beat that one. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/3 "2005-10-21T13:31:19Z")
How do you recover from the shame? I think the only way would be to take it head on and revel in the infamy; go on chat shows as The Man Who Got Shagged By A Dog. Certainly your life could never be normal again after that, could it? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/4 "2005-10-21T13:45:03Z")
> [@yingtongtiddleipo](#): > > Heyhey all - my first thread… be gentle! Keep up boy! Keep up! Great username, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/5 "2005-10-21T13:48:14Z")
[Yakov Smirnov]In Soviet Union, pooch screws **you**![/yakov smirnov] sorry, someone had to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/6 "2005-10-21T13:49:18Z")
I managed to keep all my laughter inside until I got to the judge’s comments. Brilliant. Welcome to the SDMB! ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/7 "2005-10-21T13:49:24Z")
I’ve heard of “shaggy dog stories”, but this is ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/8 "2005-10-21T13:50:44Z")
Add about 100 words of pointless meandering, and you’ve got a Shagging Dog Story. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/9 "2005-10-21T13:51:58Z")
_applause, wipes tears from eyes_ This is just beautiful… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![yingtongtiddleipo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yingtongtiddleipo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yingtongtiddleipo)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/10 "2005-10-21T14:14:56Z")
\<\\> why thank you all for your kind welcome… After lurking for so long, I thought I should make a proper effort to start… I guess I just wanted my first post to go with a… . . . . bang? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/11 "2005-10-21T14:21:45Z")
> [@yingtongtiddleipo](#): > > Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police “I can’t help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me.” > > He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added “The dog pulled my trousers down.” I guess this is one incident which probably _didn’t_ go “according to Hoyle”… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/12 "2005-10-21T14:30:21Z")
When you wake up with a hang over you are supposed to have some of the hair of the dog that _bit_ you. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/13 "2005-10-21T15:24:18Z")
“The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw.” … Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency. This would be one of those things that go beyond offensive to hilarious. Two humans having sex in public would be trashy; an adult beating a child blood-boilingly offensive. But if I’d encounter something like this (or as I actually have: while driving with my daughter, we once had a big laugh when she pointed out the bum on the corner waving at cars while his pizzle was hanging out), the act itself would be of less concern than that the perp was so mentally ill that he’d do something else equally weird but this time truly dangerous. Of course, that’s just me. I admit I watched the horse-fucking-the-guy video, fully understanding that it or may not be the incident that led to the man’s death earlier this year in Washington State, and still thought it was funny as hell! ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/14 "2005-10-21T15:56:07Z")
You didn’t come across this gem today - as this “gem” has been around since at least 1999. Also, the “article” itself is of doubtful veracity: it is ascribed to different newspapers, but always as an extract, never with a link to the article. Not surprising, since this is a story that should set off anyone’s BS meter. MPSIMS isn’t GQ, but that’s no excuse. ---
**Author:** ![yingtongtiddleipo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yingtongtiddleipo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yingtongtiddleipo)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/15 "2005-10-21T16:07:42Z")
> [@Isosleepy](#): > > You didn’t come across this gem today - as this “gem” has been around since at least 1999. > Also, the “article” itself is of doubtful veracity: it is ascribed to different newspapers, but always as an extract, never with a link to the article. > Not surprising, since this is a story that should set off anyone’s BS meter. > > MPSIMS isn’t GQ, but that’s no excuse. Well… whether or not this gem has been around since 1999 - I came across it today! Besides - its a damn funny story - and IMHO they deserve to stick around. With the greatest of respect - cut a girl some slack on her first thread Isogrumpy! ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/16 "2005-10-21T16:11:17Z")
Life’s a bitch. Well, no. I guess. Not really in this case. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/17 "2005-10-21T16:16:34Z")
I know a guy that _actually_ had sex with a sheep (unlike **Hal Briston** ). The worst part about the story is that the sex act with the sheep _was not the end of the story_. I guess whatever happened next was worse, and he never would tell the rest. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/18 "2005-10-21T16:43:26Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > The worst part about the story is that the sex act with the sheep _was not the end of the story_. I guess whatever happened next was worse, and he never would tell the rest. _Cut to the end of the joke_ **WITNESS** : Your honor, I saw that man take his trousers down and molest my sheep. **JUDGE** : Would you please clarify that statement, ma’am **WITNESS** : He pulled down his trousers, had sex with my sheep and when he had finished he walked around the sheep and had it mouth his penis clean. **ONE JUROR TO ANOTHER** : Oh my! Have you ever heard of such a thing? **OTHER JUROR** : A good sheep wil o that for you… ---
**Author:** ![TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoneyKingofNowhere)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/19 "2005-10-21T16:52:38Z")
Almost as funny as [this](http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002569751_horsesex19m.html) is just plain sad. Somebody else probably posted this elsewhere, I haven’t checked… ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237/20 "2005-10-21T17:39:38Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Great username, BTW. Seconded! Hear that crazy rhythm, driving me insane … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-news-or-how-not-to-do-it-doggy-style/327237.md?page=2)